Is That a Godwin in Your Pocket . . .

[warning: brief mention of rape, female genital mutilation]

Ah, feminism. It's just like Nazism. And did you know that in a time period when women couldn't open a credit card by themselves, they owned most of the nation's wealth?

You're right, that does seem a bit illogical. It's difficult to pull off logic after you've Godwin'd yourself in the first paragraph, you see.

Forty years ago, American society (or at least those parts of it owned by the leftist establishment) was aflutter with feminism. This was the newest incarnation of the flower of leftism. Hugh Hefner and Playboy, though pilloried by these feminists, naturally genuflected at its holy altar. Colleges rushed to include courses in "Women's Studies," oblivious to the fact that "Aryan Studies" in German colleges represented the nadir in human scholarship and that the stark "Women Good, Men Bad" animus of this pseudo-academic adventure smells just like something the National Socialist Student Association would have cooked up.

HAHAHA! Somebody somewhere studied something and now HITLER! I WINZ!!!!1!!eleventy!!! Really, I wasted my time learning to read and stuff. All that time studying logic and philosophy, what a waste.

Men were dumbfounded to discover that they had been "oppressors" -- that they had forced wives to stay home while they savored the sweet joys of rush-hour traffic and heart-attack jobs, that the higher life expectancy of women proved that inadequate attention had been paid to "women's health issues," that they relished the privilege of suffering horrific combat wounds while women performed noncombatant roles in the military, and that the sex which owned most of the wealth of our nation was also, somehow, the helpless sex.

The sex which owned most of the wealth of our nation? Prove that one, asshat. Really. Prefeminism, so prior to the 1960s, women owned most of the wealth of our nation? That's . . . interesting considering that women have had the vote for less than 100 years, and it wasn't until the 1960s that a woman could speak to her doctor about controlling her own fertility. But clearly, we were in charge. Just living the high life. At the expense of men everywhere.

As to the rest, I've heard this before and it's stooooopid. Women weren't at home, happy as clams, avoiding traffic and stress, they were trapped, unable to obtain education and jobs they wanted and needed, dependent on the men in their lives to support them. What do you suppose happened when those men couldn't or wouldn't support them? The women in the army argument is just as fallacious. If women want to be in active combat, they should be able to. Look at it this way, women in active combat can take the "horrific wounds" and open up support positions to the poor, poor menz.

Seriously, cry me a river about how privilege was such a burden upon the white male.

Truth, as all sane folk and grownups always knew, is that neither sex has a clear advantage over the other. Sex differentiation in species close to Homo sapiens very closely mirrors those sexual roles which have independently evolved in wholly separate cultures for thousands of years. This surprising fact -- that men and women are inherently different and complementary -- never surprised conservatives, and to their great credit, conservative women emphatically rejected the notion that the apparatus of leftist inquisitions were needed to protect them from the dark hearts of wicked men.

I'm sorry, what planet do you live on? Is it a planet on which there is no male privilege, no rape culture, no misogyny? Because I really, really, really want to live there. Only a particularly dense man could say that with a straight face. Also, when did we start the leftist inquisitions? Damnit, I want a robe and a hot iron poker!

Something else happened, too. The tired, nagging voice of leftist feminism showed its dirty petticoats the first time that questioning ideological orthodoxy demanded decency. Bill Clinton -- if we are to believe the impassioned and credible tales of multiple women -- did not just have affairs. He intimidated women. He sent goons to stalk them. He took advantage of women at their weakest. And, very probably, Clinton savagely raped Juanita Broaddrick. The New Cleaning Ladies, the aging ward heelers of stale feminism, came in and mopped up all the evidence, showing credentials which confirmed them as semi-officially sanctioned representatives of women everywhere.

That paragraph literally makes no sense. I don't particularly remember anyone being happy that Bill Clinton cheated on his wife with an intern in the Oval Office, but "savagely raped"? I personally think the above paragraph exists purely to provide an excuse to put a Democratic leader and "savagely raped" in the same sentence.

When George W. Bush launched campaigns in Afghanistan and in Iraq, the strategic prudence of his crusade was the subject of fair review. The impact of these campaigns on women, however, was clear: Whoever else may have been liberated, women were magnificently liberated. The misogyny of Islam is a very old story, and radical Islam treats women worse than other versions. The explosion of crimes like honor killings in America and other parts of the West is ignored by the New Cleaning Ladies of old femi-leftistm. The nuttiest slanders of the Christian or the Jewish attitude toward women can be blown into a shrill shriek of horror by these old hags, but show them a girl subjected to "female circumcision" by enemies of America and its liberties, and the crones yawn.

No, we crones do not yawn at female genital mutilation. (Note, in fact, that the hags on the left call it what it is, rather than "circumcision".)

Also what women in Afghanistan were "magnificently liberated"? Afghanistan has the second highest maternal mortality rate in the world. As many as 90% of rural Afghani women have no access to health care at all. In fact, the average life expectancy for an Afghani woman is 44 years. (A mere 10 years older than I am.) The literacy rate for women in Afghanistan stands at half that of the men. Probably because 29% of the school districts have no schools for girls at all. Between 70 and 80% of Afghani women face forced marriages and there are 1,000,000 widows in Afghanistan.

Yeah, that's fucking magnificent all right.

The rest is a love letter to Palin, Coulter, et al., the quality of which was so poor, I can only assume he was fapping away while writing it.