Monday, May 3, 2010


Yesterday, I was walking to the Dunkin' Donuts and as I walked past two women sitting on a stoop, I heard this: So I told her you gotta pick one: career woman or mother.

I really wanted to stop and ask if she had ever even considered saying such a thing to a man, but I have to keep living in my house, so I didn't. Really, has anyone ever heard anyone suggest that a man must choose between his career and his role as a father? Anyone? Bueller?

Then, Teh Hubby was reading his twitter feed aloud for me (I just can't get into twitter) and I hear this: A shout out to all the fathers that do more than provide a paycheck to their children. They are the true heroes.

Yeah. Heroes. Let's review the bare minimum for a woman to be considered not a good mother, but rather a "I won't call CYS on you just yet" mother. Care, feeding, clothing, doctor's visits, cleaning, playing with, helping with homework, rocking to sleep, staying up with when sick, being intimately familiar with all friends, fictional and real, all favorite tv shows and movies and music, etc. etc. That's not a heroic mom, that's just a mom. Fathers, however, are freaking Superman if they know their kids' names.



  1. Alright I feel a little sexist in that I never put the double standard in the phrase "A shout out to all the fathers that do more than provide a paycheck to their children. They are the true heroes" together with what a mom actually does. Excellent observation about yet another clue into the continued patriarchal nature of our society. I woke up this morning, and got smarter. GO PF!!

  2. You also see the double standard at work in grocery stores, when a dad is by himself, pushing a stroller and shopping on his own. There's this whole attitude of "look at what an amazing father/man/husband he is" for doing something that women do all the fucking time.

  3. The grocery store is, as far as I'm concerned, the single most effective form of birth control there is.

    That being said, I notice a lot of two-parent grocery shopping at our store. It's a pretty nice change, especially considering the fact that one parent is there to keep the kid(s) from annoying the shit out of me and everyone around me.


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