4) That the highest created being, known as Satan or the Devil, led an angelic rebellion against an omnipotent omniscient omnibenelovent omnipresent God, and expected to win--which makes Satan out to be pure evil and dumber than a box of rocks.
Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time, a conversation between Satan and Satan's second in command, Bob.
Bob: So, we're rebelling against God?
Bob: Why? He's omnibenevolent. You can't get nicer than that.
Satan: Apparently, I'm wicked jealous of the humans.
Bob: Those things that feel pain, get sick and die? We're angels, why are we jealous of humans?
Satan: Two words- free will.
Bob: Well, if we're deciding to rebel, we must have that, too.
Satan: Better to rule in Hell than serve in Heaven.
Bob: Have you seen Hell?!
Satan: I admit, the decor is a little heavy on the burning lakes of fire and, well, burning lakes of fire, but we could always redecorate.
Bob: I don't think new wallpaper is going to fix that. Anyway, how can we rebel? God isn't just omnibenelovent, he's also omnipotent, omniscient and omnipresent.
Satan: Hmmm . . . if he's omnipresent, doesn't that mean he rules Hell, too?
Satan: Omniscient means he's hearing this conversation right now.
Satan: Omnipotent means I can't win, right?
Bob: I don't know, you got anything better than all powerful?
Satan: This probably isn't a good idea.
Bob: Nope. So, how much apologizing do you think it's going to take to fix this one?
Satan: We may as well just keep rebelling, I don't think Hallmark makes that card.
Bob: *sigh* I'll go get some wallpaper samples, sir.
Satan: See if they have anything in tone-on-tone stripes. Those are classy!
Bob: Right away, sir.