Thursday, December 3, 2009

I'm a Predatory Cat of Some Kind

I had no idea, but apparently, I'm some sort of predatory cat.

A puma, Angela further explained, is a woman in her late 20s to early 30s who preys on “the babies—guys who are like 21.” Angela said she wants to write a sex memoir, with any luck before she enters the saber-toothed stage.

Seeing as how I'm 6 years older than Teh Hubby, and I was 24 when we met*, I was apparently "baby" chasing. A 21-year-old man is now a baby being hunted by evil, evil OLD women in their late 20s.

This article actually gets more offensive.

She noted that her friend K.C. was a cheetah. Recently out of a relationship, K.C. has discovered that getting a man was no longer as easy as it once was. “It seems like whenever she can, she winds up going home with the drunkest guy in the bar,” said Angela. “Of course, in the back of her mind she’s hoping that her pussy’s still good enough to keep him.”

Well, my "pussy" is now almost 34 years old, so I guess it's all worn out and stuff (oh, look, it's an expiration date!) and Teh Hubby should go find himself some baby pussy to fuck . . . oh, no, wait, a 28 year old man dating a 21 year old woman is just normal and we don't need to reference pedophilia or cats. I'm the old, worn out, sick one, he's a man. Good to know.

Defying logic and physics, this article continues to get more and more offensive:

. . . but rather it is about women past the first flush of youth wanting to date or at least fuck “above their station.”

Because women over 25 should be happy to fuck whatever they can get. Only young women with nonexpired vaginas should expect anything.

We end with the old canard that men who enjoy assertive women are worthless nonmales (pussy, it refers to both female genitalia and worthless men. nice.), and women should sit in towers growing their hair and waiting for their prince- until their vaginas expire, and then they should accept any man that walks by.

Angela would like to do the cheetahs of the world a favor: “Heed my warning: You’re never going to get a boyfriend or a husband this way. Men like to chase. The only man you’ll ever get to stick around by being a cheetah is going to be a total pussy.”

*I now feel the urge to explain, though it is none of your business, that Teh Hubby became an emancipated minor at 16, and immediately starting working full time and living on his own, so he was more mature at 18 than I was at 24. We were dating almost a year before I figured out he wasn't older than me. This is none of anyone's business, but seeing as how a relationship between two adults has now been redefined as some sort of pedophilia . . .


  1. On Monday I found myself at Midway Airport with a delayed flight and not a whole hell of a lot to do. I ended up in a bar talking to a woman who was obviously a few years older than me (think "cougar" more than "puma"). She was nice and easy to get along with and certain parts of her body were a miracle of modern medical science.

    And y'know what? If she'd decided to start "chasing" me or whatever the hell the terminology would be, I wouldn't have had any problems with that at all. I mean, I don't know that I would have done anything about it, but I certainly wouldn't have been disgusted or offended or whatever the hell I'm apparently supposed to be.

    So...yeah. That's pretty stupid. There's also a huge double standard there.

  2. My partner is 2 years older than me physically and about 10 years older in mental age/maturity.

    I guess I must be a pussy and she must be like, what? A lynx or something?


  3. Yeah it is stupid, when we first dated I was six years older than my wife and no one thought anything of it. I enjoyed dating a pretty young girl but really it wasn't an issue, yet had she been twenty four and I eighteen it would have been an issue. That makes no sense. At any rate she is now thirty five and if anything has expired I sure haven't noticed.

    I would say it is more important how people relate to each other than any arbitrary concern over age. Well provided both are old enough to know what they are doing and no laws are being broken.

  4. Since my gf is 31, I should start shopping around as her vagina is about to expire, is that right then?

  5. Huh. I had heard the term "cougar" before but I thought a puma was a woman who voted for John McCain because Obama wasn't Clinton. (From PUMA).

    I'm a bit puzzled by the level of effort that seems to be going in to the categorization/labeling here. I'm not sure why there's such a need. People date people. Other people marry people. Some of those people aren't the same age. So what?

  6. Ha, cougars, pumas, cheetahs... then what's a simple domestic cat? Pussy? I'm confused.

    Ryk, this was hilarious "At any rate she is now thirty five and if anything has expired I sure haven't noticed."

  7. Pete is two and a half years younger than me. and it used to really, really bug me that i was two and a half years older than him.

    it has ALWAYS been an issue with me, not wanting to date or otherwise be involved with relationship-wise someone who is younger than i am. and no, i don't understand why i feel that way - my mom is older than my dad, for instance, and there was never a "thing". i do remember, when i first started dating, how i did NOT "like" any of the boys i went to school with because they were uniformly immature and childish.
    the whole "girls mature faster" thing - i know it's pretty new, as a century ago a boy was a "man" much younger than today, but i have no clue why society keeps extending childhood for men...

    i really wish shit like this would die. sigh. the historical discrepency between husband and wife age was based on a lot of factors that either don't really apply anymore, or shouldn't. like the limited breeding years of women - the sooner married, the more kids she could have, and that used to be very important because so many many MANY children died...
    also: second, third, fourth wife - a 30 year old man was probably marrying a 16 year old because his previous wife died and his current kids "needed a mother".

    why are all these metaphores cat? couger, puma, cheetah, pussy? WHY?


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