Friday, July 23, 2010

A Rather Bizarre Description of [Insert Euphemism Here]

Sex Ed 101 (Please, if you actually need Sex Ed, this ain't it. Email me. I've given the speech before.)

Human beings have corresponding they write letters to one another? fascinating. sexual organs sex organs. sexual organs, well, that's not what you mean. It's "their", unless you mean one sex organ primary function is to procreate on a biological scientific level. um, what? is there some other level of procreation? nonbiological procreation? unscientific procreation? wut? Human beings comma being social creatures comma do more then just mate and abandon their offspring. because our offspring aren't capable of surviving on their own immediately. in fact, most mammals don't immediately abandon offspring. i'm not sure what the point is here. We all bond and form relationships through our biological kinship as children with our parents. It's how we are able to survive beyond birth. is this advanced tautology or is renee slamming adoption? i have no idea.

Our first social interaction is with our mother, or the doctor slapping your ass. i guess it depends upon what you mean by social. this is something highly encouraged in modern day society. but not 100 years ago? what do you mean?! Babies born for instance commas aren't helping that. "babies born"? as opposed to babies appearing suddenly out of nothing? are placed on the mother's chest, babies are to be with mother's stop molesting the innocent apostrophe. along their bedside, and moms whenever possible are encourage and supported to breastfeed. advanced tautology, then.

We also know through science, women don't just self-produce. i, from science, WUT?! Human life is created with an egg released at the time of ovulation in a woman's body, if sperm is present from the conjugal act (ejaculation of millions of sperm from a man's penis inside a woman's vagina) conception may occur and human life is created.

i can't even imagine what the point was there. really cannot imagine. "conjugal act"? does renee mean fucking? mah brane, it hurtz.

Hopefully for the nest Rouge Angles of Satin strike again! 38 weeks of gestation a human being will be present in a woman's uterus. i don't . . . i . . . "present"? does that make sense? Again hopefully a woman may have natural childbirth and have a new born baby. as opposed to an old born baby? WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY?!

Man + Woman (Heterosexual Sex) = Baby I'm glad renee explained (Heterosexual Sex), because we wouldn't want to confuse anyone that anal or oral sex might result in a baby. or, you know, birth control. or woman on top, that's just wrong.

My six year old is just figuring that one out! yeah, well, if you're the one teaching said sixDASHyearDASHold sex ed, I can see why they don't just understand it.

Not all sex is equal. yeah, [redacted ex] just wasn't nearly as proficient as [other redacted ex]. that's so true. Just saying.... I'm not a hateful bigot, i'm definitely leaning towards stupid bigot who needs to read a freakin' grammar book but I have to say that's a really uninformed poster. i've never found posters to be particularly informed. especially about sex. and biological, scientific babies.

There are plenty of posts here on Opine for anyone who has any more questions on this unique way every human being is created actually, if we're all created that way, it's hardly unique. in fact, basically all mammals procreate the way we do. just not unique, sorry. incredibly fun if ur doin' it rite, but not unique. in which I can link marriage to healthy fathers for a mother's offspring. i can link your stupidity to natural disasters, that doesn't make it true or relevant. It does sound quite logical considering a woman needed his sperm to create a baby.

according to renee, this is logic:

A. A man and a woman having unprotected sex will result in a baby a certain percentage of the time.

B. Teh Ghey Is Bad!

So, Renee, when you're done reading that grammar book- there will be a test, it will involve electricity- I suggest some Logic 101.

Renee Aste Lowell Massachusetts


  1. Unique Police. I see your point. This post also reminded me that we should institute a Word Salad Militia.

  2. Yeah, we're gonna some serious firepower for the Militia.

  3. That … was painful.

    Very, very painful.

    I should sue you. Only, I spent half my time reading through that dreck laughing, so I guess I can’t blame you too much.

  4. PersonalFailure said...

    Yeah, we're gonna some serious firepower for the Militia.

    How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the plank out of your eye,' when all the time there is a speck in your own eye?



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