Unnaturally Revealing

It's like there's some sort of cycle when it comes to flaunting my breasts on this blog. Nothing will come up that demands it (I refuse to simply flaunt for no reason. Hell's a classy place, after all.) , and then several things in a row will force me to splash my breasts all over the internet.

Take for example, a new survey on modesty:

Administered by a Christian website, the survey questions were submitted by “Christian girls” who wanted to know what “Christian guys” think is modest. 1,600 guys then answered the survey, offering both quantitative and qualitative answers.

95% of those guys agree or strongly agree that modesty is an important quality in a future wife. How do they define modesty:

Something that is immodest is something that is designed to arouse lust within me (male, age 24).

Something that is immodest is something that is unnaturally revealing (male, age 20).

Something immodest draws attention to a girl’s body (male, age 28).

"Designed to arouse lust"? What does that mean? What if the clothing is not "designed" to arouse lust, but it does anyway? Does that count? How is that my problem, anyway? "Unnaturally revealing" is even worse. What is naturally revealing? "Draws attention to a girl's body"? As in . . . clothing?

Something attractive draws you toward them. It makes you respect the person. Something immodest is usually unattractive. It makes you think less of that person, thinking of them as an object… (male, age 16).

Actually, I shouldn't have to "make" you treat another human being with respect. You should be able to treat anyone, dressed any way with respect.

My responsibility is to not treat women as objects for my satisfaction, even if they dress and act like it. It devalues them, and makes me a user of people… (male, age 26).

Translation: I have to treat sluts like ladies, even if all they deserve is a gang rape in an alley. I'm not feeling generous.

So, to get more specific so we can ensure that male, age 16 and male, age 26 are treating us with respect, a breakdown of what is and is not unnaturally revealing:

Haltertops: 75% say are immodest

Miniskirts: 93% immodest

44% say decorative stitching on the back pockets of jeans are immodest

19% say a pocket on the chest of a shirt is immodest, 25% aren't sure whether that pocket is immodest or not.

Purses worn across the body are immodest to almost half of respondents. Seriously, you're calling for a burqa at this point, boys.

Tights with designs on them are too much for 39% of respondents.

Amost 50% feel a shirt with a design across the chest is immodest.

So, yeah, burqas.

But there's more. Modesty isn't just a matter of a loose, plain t-shirt, a long skirt and nonpatterned tights, it's behavior, too. A mental burqa, if you will.

An immodest lady is loud, proud, and dresses in a way that communicates such an attitude (male, age 24).

Something becomes immodest when the person wearing it has an attitude of carelessness (male, age 17).

If you are dressing to get attention from a guy, then anything you wear can be immodest (male, age 13; my emphasis).

Loud and proud are immodest. Carelessness is immodest. Anything at all is immodest. (Though to be fair, that last one is the opinion of a boy at an age where a blank sheet of paper can cause an erection.) Still, proud? Proud? Pride is immodest?

Walking, bending over to pick something up, stretching, breasts bouncing as you walk (mine do that, and they aren't big. this basically requires that women not move.), are all immodest. Why are you moving, girl?! What possible reason could you have for being so immodest? Get inside and stay there!

Check out this definition of immodesty:

Immodest: Screams that her body is different than mine. Attempts to manipulate me. Forcefully offers to trade what I want (in the flesh) for what she wants: attention (male, age 30).

Who wants to bet me $5 that this male, age 30, is a virgin and REALLY REALLY REALLY needs to get laid? Screams. Manipulate. Forcefully. Flesh. I don't need Freud to tell me what his problem is.

The bottom line here is simple. Despite Christian men's lip service to the idea that their lust is their problem, they put it on the women. Can you imagine trying to be modest according to the above rules? No pockets, no decorative stitching, no purse straps across the body. Walk modestly, if you drop something it is gone, and bind down your breasts with duct tape lest they bounce while you walk. Don't be loud, don't be proud, don't be anything at all.

Fuck that noise. You can't handle my immodest breasts and their normal reaction to gravity? Don't look.