Thursday, July 15, 2010

My Empire Will More Shocking for Some than Others

When I am Empress of the Entire Freakin' World, not only will you find yourself wearing purple and berets, and possibly purple berets (if you are lucky), I will extend comprehensive sex education to everyone. Five-year-olds, fifty-year-olds, nuns, dogs, absolutely everyone will be getting comprehensive sex education. We'll be shutting down all work in the entire freakin' world to have a week long discussion about consent. We'll spend at least one week on the clitoris, one week on fetishes, and at least a few days on appropriate lubricants. No one, in the entire freakin' world, will get to take a lunch break until everyone can say aloud, without blushing, "penis" and "vagina" (or whatever it is in their native language. we don't discriminate in the Empire.)

Apparently, some people are going to have more trouble with this than others, as evidenced by what some people consider, andiquote, disturbing.

Here are some of the more disturbing pieces of the [proposed Montana curriculum].
  • Introduce basic reproductive body parts (penis, vagina, breast, nipples, testicles, scrotum, uterus) -- Kindergarten and Grades 1-3
What is disturbing about kindergarteners correctly identifying parts of the body by their proper names? Does this person have an issue with children saying "spleen"? It's a body part, get the fuck over it.
  • Acknowledge that individuals & families have a variety of values as it pertains to sexual behaviors -- Grade 2
Reality, here it is. Acknowledging that something exists in reality is disturbing? Is it also disturbing to introduce children to the idea that some people speak a different language than they do?
  • Recognize that there are a variety of reasons why people may end a committed relationship -- Grade 3
50% of marriages end in divorce. We may want to talk to children about it. Just a thought.
  • Acknowledge that gay men, lesbians, bisexuals, and heterosexuals can establish lifelong
    committed relationships -- Grade 8
Again, acnowledging reality. Plus, eighth graders are 13-14 years old. I think they can handle the idea. About things that exist in reality. Really real reality.
  • Understand that marriage is considered a commitment by two people to love, help,
    and support one another -- Grade 6
What definition of marriage is this guy using that the above sentence is "disturbing"? Do we know if his wife's been seen recently?
  • Emphasize that no one has the right to impose their values
    on others -- Grade 6
  • Understand human beings can love people of the same gender & people of another gender -- Grade 1
Again, actual things that happen in actual really real reality. Is there some other way I can say this that would make it more clear? Do I need more adverbs? I like adverbs.
  • Understand making fun of people by calling them gay (e.g., “homo,” “fag,” “queer”) is
    disrespectful & hurtful -- Grade 2
BECAUSE IT IS. why is that disturbing? seriously, it's disturbing to suggest that yelling "fag!" at someone might hurt their feelings?
  • Understand that sexual intercourse includes but is not limited to vaginal, oral, or anal
    penetration -- Grade 5
Considering that someone told me once it wasn't sex if they didn't cum, I'm voting on the side of necessary for this one. (Don't ask.)
  • Understand sexual orientation refers to a person’s physical and/or romantic attraction to an individual of the same and/or different gender, and is one
    part of ones’ personality -- Grades 5 and 6
What else does sexual orientation refer to?
  • Understand that sexual intercourse ncludes but is not imited to vaginal, oral, or anal penetration; using the penis, fingers, tongue or objects -- Grades 6-12
Apparently, he was really disturbed by this one. it's listed twice. oh, wait, i see, "objects" are added in the later years. Meh.
  • Understand teenagers who decide to engage in sexual behavior must also decide about
    pregnancy & STI/HIV prevention -- Grade 6
  • Understand barrier methods of contraception (e.g. male and female condoms, dental dams can greatly reduce but not prevent STIs) -- Grades 5-12
Is the teen birth rate under abstinence only not enough for you?

Apparently, being asked to experience actually actual really real reality is just too much for some people. And they want to educate your children.


  1. •Understand that sexual intercourse includes but is not limited to vaginal, oral, or anal penetration -- Grade 5

    I admit, this one shocked me a little at first, but then I thought: hang on. I might not have put two and two together until about grade 7-8, but kids were using various euphamisms as insults way before this. If I'd been slightly interested in what other people called me I'd have asked my parents about some of them.

    It's also worthy of note that I was a very naive child. Still am, in some ways.

    Long story short: if adults don't tell kids about something, they'll tell each other.

  2. Basically, the biggest plus of having your own Empire would be the berets and uniforms!

    And yeah, to everything else you said.

    How is it a good thing to en-dumb our children?

  3. I had the same reaction to Quasar did to the Grade 5 plan. How old are you in fifth grade - I forget - eleven? I don't think the existence of anything other than vaginal sex had occurred to me at that age. Of course, I also didn't know the word for masturbation until I was in sixth grade. Tru. Fax. So I'm probably not a good barometer on modern sex ed age groupings.

    I do know that the huge emphasis placed on things like HIV and syphilis (in my school, at least) to the detriment of much more widespread things like chlamydia, HPV, herpes and gonorrhea (which of course aren't deadly but which are EVERYWHERE) is a disservice. (No, I am not suggesting that HIV information be curtailed. Quite the opposite. But there needs to be more and earlier information about the nonlethal STDs that can cause infertility like *that*.)

  4. we do better DEMOLITIONS than you, savage...


    let them know if the MDC continues more people will die...




    Actually it is a ROYAL FLUSH!!!

    Let me show you how ATHEISTS were partially responsible for 911


    You don’t even have SCIENCE on your side…

    You’re a perfect example of when PHILOSOPHY becomes an ENEMY OF LIFE...

    not quite samantha with her *supernatural spit*, eh?

    this isn't one of your little WORD GAMES...

    blasphemy is a DEATH SENTENCE

    you people actually BELIEVE the BS you preach!

    GOD 1 - atheists 0



    Repent and turn to God or be destroyed...


    my interpretation of the STATUE FIRE... it symbolizes the SPIRITUAL DEATH of atheism...,0,4295974.story


    we do like your music Lady Gaga, but...

    The B**BQUAKE - 911

    Let me show you the FATE OF TRAITORS...

    they are incapable of telling the difference between SCIENTIFIC *FACT* AND

    they also preach a *VALUE FREE SCIENCE* called *POSITIVISM* that ignores the
    inequalities of wealth and power in capitalist civilization...

    for a sample taste of PZ Myers' GARBAGE...



    what happens when you LOSE Pascal's Wager...

    the blood and bodies of the atheist movement...

    you mofos killed MICKEY MOUSE!!!!

    this has more TRUTH then what Dawkins, Randi, Harris, Myers, and Shermer
    combined have said in their entire lives...!v=5R2wE8Sduhs&playnext_from=TL&videos=hht1U_19anc&feature=rec-LGOUT-exp_fresh%2Bdiv-1r-3-HM

    they tried to BULLDOZE the entire METAPHYSICAL DIMENSION...
    they LOST THE WAR......

    you have FORFEIT YOUR SOUL, shermer... you have become an object in the material world, as you WISHED...

    we're gonna smash that TV...

    They had become ENEMIES OF THE PEOPLE AND OF GOD...

    you pushed too much and *CROSSED THE LINE*

    degenerates (PZ) or children (HEMANT) - ATHEISTS!

    do you have anything to say, you STUPID LITTLE F*CKER?

    how about I tell you, Mr. Shermer, EVERYTHING YOU THINK ABOUT THE WORLD is

    THE BOOBQUAKE - 911!

  5. my problem is that "these" people throw fits about sex ed, because "it's something parents should judge and teach about" - and then DON'T TEACH ANYTHING.

    which means that kids get ZERO real-world info... i have, quite literally, met a 14-year old who didn't understand why she was pregnant, because they used "protection".
    a discarded milky way candy bar wrapper. that's what they used. because "what's a condom but a tube?" and "no one [in their small town] would sell condoms to non-married people" so what else were they going to do?


  6. denelian, that story breaks my heart. :( That poor girl had to suffer because of her parents' and immediate society's keeping her in willful ignorance. :( :( :(

  7. i know. and also - what ELSE could have happened? think of the infections! just...

    it makes me weep.

    i used to [when i was physically able] mentor teens. and after a few months, i'd first give that specific teen the "here is how to have sex as safely as possible, even if you haven't had sex yet, at some point you will, and you *NEED* to know these things" talk. always with a giggle-y start ["who was the first boy you kisses? was it all tingly? mine was tingly!" etc...]
    then, once the kid [i mentored both boys and girls - but it's notable that over half the boys i mentored were gay, and knew they were gay, before i met them. i wonder why?] knows the "10 Commandments" i asked two things of my teens - share the commandments, and give my number/email to other teens who may need to talk to someone about them.

    1. always use a condom
    2.always use another form of BC, like the pill, foam, shot, etc.
    3. always use a condom.
    4. always use a safe space - a REAL safe space, not "an empty alley no one will look here, not "the backseat of the car. A SAFE SPACE where you won't get caught and won't get hurt.
    5. always use a condom.
    6. make sure your "no" is listened to immediatly, and your "yes" even more so. if s/he won't take "no, don't do X, i don't like" when you're just kissing, s/he won't take it anytime.
    7. ALWAYS use a condom.
    8. if you won't kiss it, don't put it in your body/put your body in it
    9. always use a condom.
    10. get tested A)at least twice a year B)before a new partner C) after you've been with new partner 3-4 weeks.
    [11. don't get caught.]


    i mentored, over a 10-year period, 17 girls and 12 boys. at 18, NONE of them were/had gotten someone pregnant, none had STDs of ANY sort - and 21 went to college [my main mechanic? was one of my kids... :) ]

    i wish i could mentor more... sigh

  8. 8. if you won't kiss it, don't put it in your body/put your body in it

    I really like that one :)

  9. @ Denelian - you mind if I repost those commandments? That's the sort of information that ought to be propagated, I think.

  10. I can't wait for your empire. What a better world we would live in if everyone knew about the clitoris and about lube! Can we have a week on the merits and practices of masturbation?

    I am truly envios of the sex education kids would get under this system. I didn't get any real education until I was 15. And my mother signed those consent forms. But my sex ed teachers were terrible, embarrassed and misleading. Can we add "pussy" to the list of offending slurs? There is nothing cowardly about my reproductive parts. I would also like to add "vulva" to the list of appropriate terms. Vagina is to vulva as throat is to mouth.

    I hate people who say that it is ok not to teach kids because other kids will teach them. Sreiously? If that worked, we should lay of math teachers and history teachers. Kids are dumb. I know, I used to be one. If I acted upon the "information" other kids and teenagers taught me, I would have two or three STDs and at least one child from high school. Kids don't know anything about sex, even the ones who have had sex. We really need to start teaching at a young age not only how to keep yourself safe, physically and emotionally, but also how to be a better, responsible lover.

  11. denelian: good on you, and good on your students.

    Getting exercised about kids hearing the words "penis" and "vagina" would be very funny, if these people didn't have influence. Here in Europe most people would scratch their heads in wonderment at such silliness.

  12. When one of my sons was about 3, he had to have surgery for an undescended testicle. We told him what was going on, and he understood. (He and his twin brother bathed together, and of course they compared.) For weeks afterward, he drew lots of pictues at day care of a circle with two smaller circles inside. When the teacher finally asked him what it was, he proudly said "I used to have only one testicle in my scrotum, and now I have TWO!"
    ....When the ensuing parent-teacher conference was over, he and I both received an apology.

  13. Michael;

    PLEASE repost it! despite appearances, i'm not posting for ego, but for info. if that makes sense. lol. the best thing that ever happened to me was the last kid i mentored... i started telling him the list, and he finished it. he'd already heard it [and didn't know that it was my list. lol] repost it everywhere!!!


    it's a good rule - and it's one of those that isn't JUST about "being fair" or whatever... oral sex is a good idea for a LOT of reasons, not the least of which is that many STDs have visible side effects. obviously, just looking at the genetalia of your partner isn't enough to ensure you don't get an STD from them [notice that every other rule is "CONDOM!!!"] but, statistically, it helps. sometimes a LOT. *shrug* plus all the other good reasons for oral sex :D


    you remind me, yet again, why i've been considering a move to Europe for decades... le sigh


    good on your boy! and good on the teacher, to appologize when it became apparant that s/he was wrong!


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