My Empire Will More Shocking for Some than Others

When I am Empress of the Entire Freakin' World, not only will you find yourself wearing purple and berets, and possibly purple berets (if you are lucky), I will extend comprehensive sex education to everyone. Five-year-olds, fifty-year-olds, nuns, dogs, absolutely everyone will be getting comprehensive sex education. We'll be shutting down all work in the entire freakin' world to have a week long discussion about consent. We'll spend at least one week on the clitoris, one week on fetishes, and at least a few days on appropriate lubricants. No one, in the entire freakin' world, will get to take a lunch break until everyone can say aloud, without blushing, "penis" and "vagina" (or whatever it is in their native language. we don't discriminate in the Empire.)

Apparently, some people are going to have more trouble with this than others, as evidenced by what some people consider, andiquote, disturbing.

Here are some of the more disturbing pieces of the [proposed Montana curriculum].

• Introduce basic reproductive body parts (penis, vagina, breast, nipples, testicles, scrotum, uterus) -- Kindergarten and Grades 1-3

What is disturbing about kindergarteners correctly identifying parts of the body by their proper names? Does this person have an issue with children saying "spleen"? It's a body part, get the fuck over it.

• Acknowledge that individuals & families have a variety of values as it pertains to sexual behaviors -- Grade 2

Reality, here it is. Acknowledging that something exists in reality is disturbing? Is it also disturbing to introduce children to the idea that some people speak a different language than they do?

• Recognize that there are a variety of reasons why people may end a committed relationship -- Grade 3

50% of marriages end in divorce. We may want to talk to children about it. Just a thought.

• Acknowledge that gay men, lesbians, bisexuals, and heterosexuals can establish lifelong
  committed relationships -- Grade 8

Again, acnowledging reality. Plus, eighth graders are 13-14 years old. I think they can handle the idea. About things that exist in reality. Really real reality.

• Understand that marriage is considered a commitment by two people to love, help,
  and support one another -- Grade 6

What definition of marriage is this guy using that the above sentence is "disturbing"? Do we know if his wife's been seen recently?

• Emphasize that no one has the right to impose their values
  on others -- Grade 6

Amen!

• Understand human beings can love people of the same gender & people of another gender -- Grade 1

Again, actual things that happen in actual really real reality. Is there some other way I can say this that would make it more clear? Do I need more adverbs? I like adverbs.

• Understand making fun of people by calling them gay (e.g., “homo,” “fag,” “queer”) is
  disrespectful & hurtful -- Grade 2

BECAUSE IT IS. why is that disturbing? seriously, it's disturbing to suggest that yelling "fag!" at someone might hurt their feelings?

• Understand that sexual intercourse includes but is not limited to vaginal, oral, or anal
  penetration -- Grade 5

Considering that someone told me once it wasn't sex if they didn't cum, I'm voting on the side of necessary for this one. (Don't ask.)

• Understand sexual orientation refers to a person’s physical and/or romantic attraction to an individual of the same and/or different gender, and is one
  part of ones’ personality -- Grades 5 and 6

What else does sexual orientation refer to?

• Understand that sexual intercourse ncludes but is not imited to vaginal, oral, or anal penetration; using the penis, fingers, tongue or objects -- Grades 6-12

Apparently, he was really disturbed by this one. it's listed twice. oh, wait, i see, "objects" are added in the later years. Meh.

• Understand teenagers who decide to engage in sexual behavior must also decide about
  pregnancy & STI/HIV prevention -- Grade 6

DUH.

• Understand barrier methods of contraception (e.g. male and female condoms, dental dams can greatly reduce but not prevent STIs) -- Grades 5-12

Is the teen birth rate under abstinence only not enough for you?

Apparently, being asked to experience actually actual really real reality is just too much for some people. And they want to educate your children.