Thursday, February 10, 2011

Satan Has a Blog- Turns Out, the Morningstar is Ray Comfort's Long Lost Twin

When I saw an advertisement for Satan's Blog, I squealed with glee. "How funny, how deliciously snarky this will be!" I thought, because that's just my sense of humor. (And I think in full, 19th Centuryesque sentences, apparently.)

Then I read it. Either the Morningstar is ghost writing Ray Comfort's blog or they're long lost twins, because gah! the blog is offensive, stupid and ignorant.

Take this post on Bernard Schweizer called, “Hating God: The Untold Story of Misotheism.” Schweizer very carefully examines the difference between atheism, not believing in gods, and misotheism, believing in god, but actively hating him. Satan, like every other fundy out there, is unbelievably offended at the idea that there is a difference. After all, they've only been asserting that atheists are god haters since, well, ever, so Schweizer must be wrong. Must!

My servants, I must say I’m in a deliciously good mood today. Reading of my peeps on earth exhibiting depraved minds, usually in tandem with insolent arrogance, just perks me right up. So it’s with great pleasure that I introduce a book

"Peeps"? Satan is a rapper from the late 90s? Who knew?

Believing that atheists cannot hate God because “one cannot hate that which does not exist,” Schweizer highlights those who believe the wiser path on earth is to acknowledge the obvious, that God exists, but act like puffed-up men and women who stupidly belittle God as stupid. Or, as he explains misotheism in contrast to atheism:

“Misotheism is a different kettle of fish. In fact, it may well turn out to be more threatening to the pious than atheism because misotheism makes the radically subversive claim that there is a God but that he is malevolent or at least incompetent, indifferent—in any case not worshipful.”

Ha ha ha ha ha. Yes, that’s my lie. Someone, or something, will always be worshipped. The worldly wise path is to worship created things rather than the Creator, who, by the way, is said to be “praised forever.” Blechhhh!

Yes, the fundys can't possibly be wrong, now can they? If they say atheists hate god, then no matter what atheists themselves say, they hate god. If fundys say that everyone worships something, no matter what you or I say, we worship something. Nobody can know themselves better than a fundy knows them. Really, every time I think I'm hungry, thirsty or tired, I should check with a fundy just to make sure.

Reviving a “rarely used term—“misotheism”—to capture just this sort of antagonistic religious belief (“misos” meaning hatred in Greek and “theos” God),” Schweizer describes “a paradoxical religious phenomenon—people who cannot disbelieve and yet find that God is cruel, indifferent or incompetent.”

Now, my servants, here is kingdom knowledge: there is no paradox. A proper understanding of God and history leads one to a proper understanding of the human condition. Thanks to me (you’re welcome!), humans are born hating God.

Therefore hating God is the default human condition, and those who believe themselves big and brave to reject the remedy and choose pride in their fallen, blinded position merely perpetuate foolishness into eventual destruction.

The arrogance of the fundy. It's almost impressive- if it weren't so damn irritating.

Anyway, the rest of the post is just more of the same old Ray Comfort "I'll tell you what you think" bullshit. I had such high hopes, too.


  1. ::shakes head:: I'm with you. What a waste of potential!

  2. "Peeps"? Satan is a rapper from the late 90s? Who knew?

    I've often said that Christian pop culture is just a bad, culturally deaf rip-off of pop culture from ten years ago. So this is right on schedule.

  3. [Satan, browsing the blogosphere]

    "... the fuck?"

    [starts typing e-mail]*

    Excuse me, my dear sir, but there appears to have been an unfortionate misunderstanding. You see, you appear to be posting strange and, quite frankly, rather offensive propoganda against myself and my colleagues on your web-log.

    Under normal circumstances I would not give this situation a second thought: I am no stranger to criticism, even of a non-constructive nature, and have found individuals like your good self to be... useful... in my personal interests and agenda's. Certainty that one is "in the right" makes one very susceptible to manipulation.

    However, you also appear to be using my name and identity to propogate these false and insulting statements. This is... irritating.

    I am certain that this is no more than an a innocent mistake, and that when this is made clear to you you will demonstrate your honour and chivalry and at the very least post a short disclaimer on your web-log, making clear that you do not actually speak on my behalf. I would also request that you never again use terms such as "global servants," or indulge in manical laughter, while writing under my name. I am a man of wealth and taste, not a comic-book supervillian.

    In the event of a less than ideal outcome, I regret to inform you that undesireable steps will have to be taken by my... "human management" department. They do so enjoy "fixing" things like this.

    I thank you most profusely for taking the time to read my comments, sir. Hopefully we can close this matter quickly and move on with our respective lives.

    Lucifer, brother of Michael and Gabriel, Angel of the 7th Circle.

  4. *CHEER*!

    it was the "wealth and taste" that truly had me laughing :) superb! just perfect!!!

    [and now the song is stuck in my head]


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