Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Lame Sex

Is your sex life lame*? Do you think Jesus can help with that? Well, I've got a website for you: MyLameSex.com

I am not making this up.

Is your sex life what you hoped it would be? Does something inside of you believe it could be better? And is better ultimately about a new technique or the latest lotion?

Is it possible that what we don’t know about sex itself (about how men and women are wired), is actually what we really keep stumbling over? Is it possible that the one who created sex would actually have some insights into sex?

Surprisingly, God is pro sex and wants us to have an exciting and deeply fulfilling sex life. The problem is that most of us only experience a second rate imitation of what God intended it to be!

Would you be willing to keep an open mind and open heart while we have a conversation? All you have to lose is your lame sex life.

The youtube video that comes up is entitled "The Headache- Sex Excuse #1". So, yeah, I'm going to make some guesses about god's amazing insights into my sex life.

If you feel like messing with some Christians, there's a sex poll. I enjoyed letting them know that godless, unmarried heathens have no issues with sex, have sex more than 6 times a week, and are fully satisfied each time.

Heh.



*I assume they mean in the sense of "cool things the kids are saying these days" and not "disabled".

7 comments:

  1. « I enjoyed letting them know that godless, unmarried heathens have no issues with sex, have sex more than 6 times a week, and are fully satisfied each time. »

    Speak for yourself. *mopes*

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  2. Dude, I was encouraging Pharyngulation. Not even I have that kind of energy!

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  3. Oh. Okay, then. */mopes*

    I’m not into crashing polls, though, but some do seem like they’re begging for it.

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  4. Small note: I have just advertised that survey to PZ. I now accept credit for any future Pharyngulation.

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  5. While I'm hardly an expert on the subject, it seems to me that, particularly in Fundy world which is jam-packed with sexually repressed folks, the expectations for what sex should be when one ultimately gets to it become too elevated.

    Basically the Fundies raise you to never get laid, never read about, think about, talk about, practice (or self-practice) anything sexual, and then assure that the sex on your wedding night is going to move mountains because you did it the godly way.

    Then, when the actual wedding night comes and it's awkward, confusing, and boring and neither of you have any clue what was done right or wrong, what needs improvement, and how to communicate that, you can wander off to some shitty website that explains, as with all things in Fundy life, if it didn't work out the way you were promised, it's your fault for not being holy enough.

    Fuck. That. Noise.

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  6. I enjoyed the survey, but it won't accept answers that are, well, simply unacceptable. In the question about "which of the following have you done in the last 6 months" (the list includes viewing porn, same-sex sex, sex outside of marriage) if you answer anything except "none of the above" it's an "invalid response". Talk about rigged voting!

    "How much do you struggle with sexual temptation" is just a bad question. I don't struggle with it (I give in to it) but I'm sure they will take a "0" to mean I don't allow temptation to enter into my life.

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  7. I'm not following the link because I make a policy of not giving hits to RTC websites, but if their first video is about excuses not to have sex, I'm guessing their "sex advice" is "shut up and take it, bitch," not anything about making sex more pleasurable for anyone.

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