Monday, December 13, 2010

Really? You Just Can't Live Without It?

Now this is a war on Christmas, people.

You know, I just don't understand something. I celebrate Christmas, albeit secularly. I love my deer (sadly reduced to one) and my tree and giving gifts, etc. Love it. LUH it.

However, I love it. That's me. I do what makes me happy, I don't need you to do it for me. I don't need everyone else in the world to love Christmas. Everyone else could stop putting up trees and lights and ignore the day altogether, and I would still love Christmas. I'm not offended that my Jewish bosses don't celebrate Christmas. I'm not offended that my Muslim neighbors aren't carolling their little hearts out on the 25th.

Some people, however, are apparently unable to truly appreciate their own celebrations unless every random business and cashier is wrapped head-to-toe in tinsel and screaming "Merry Christmas" like post-ghost Scrooge on a meth bender. They are so utterly offended by this that they set up a website and review businesses purely on the basis of how much said business celebrates Christmas in line with how the reviewer feels they should. (Basically, did the stressed out, underpaid cashier say "merry christmas" or "happy holidays". "Happy holidays" makes Baby Jesus cry, I guess.)

A Dallas church tired of the political correctness surrounding Christmas has launched a website to report "naughty" businesses that fail to acknowledge the religious meaning of the holiday.

Yes, because it is the business of Target and Walmart to instruct the masses on the religious bases of Christmas. Just from Jesus forward, though. The pagan roots of winter solstice celebrations are not to be explained.

"I realize saying 'Merry Christmas' isn't going to get anyone into heaven," said Pastor Robert Jeffress of First Baptist Church of Dallas after his sermon on Sunday. "But I believe our nation overall is going to be healthier as a nation with a public acknowledgment of God than we are if we allow the secularists, the atheists, the infidels to remove any mention of God from our public arena and that's why I'm doing this."

Yes, because back when men were men and cashiers said "Merry Christmas", we had legally enforced misogyny and racism. That was fucking awesome, man! It's totally the job of businesses to further your religion, rather than appealing to all possible consumers. How could they think otherwise?

The site, which has received wide media attention, asks users to place companies that celebrate Christmas in their public interaction, marketing or advertising on the nice list. Businesses that act like a "Grinch" or "use misplaced political correctness to halt the celebration of Christmas" are called out in the naughty list.

. . .

Walmart made the nice list. One married couple from Hickory, N.C., was pleased that a man wished them "Merry Christmas" as they walked through the produce section.

Nordstrom's policy to say "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" did not impress one shopper who placed it on the naughty list.

Donating money to charity? Worthless if you don't tout Jesus. Paying your workers a living wage? Meaningless if you didn't make them wish customers a Merry Christmas. Excellent benefits for said workers? Just so much dross if there isn't a manger with a plastic baby in it.

I'm fairly certain that is not the spirit o' Christmas, secular or otherwise.


  1. Because between fourth Thursday in November to January 1st there is only one holiday.

  2. I'm just glad I had to go to the pic link to figure out who those people in the picture were. Now I wish I lacked curiosity.

  3. And, once again, we witness the horrible burden of people with too much time on their hands.

  4. If that Baptist First and this Baptist First are one and the same, then this is but one of their, apparently many, problems.


  5. honestly, i'm seriously considering a campaign against "merry christmas"!!! there are HOW many holidays being celebrated during this time???


  6. Atheists didn't come up with "Happy Holidays." Why would we suggest wishing people happy holy-days? Not sure how atheists always get dragged into this... oh right, persecution complex.


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