Monday, May 9, 2011

Cognitive Behavioral Slutwalk

What am I saying here? See below.

Holly, of the Pervocracy, is one of the people I am determined to meet in real life before I die, if only for this exchange in the comments of her post on the Slutwalk(s).

Tit for Tat said...

Ok, is there any time that you should be aware that what you are wearing might potentially cause you physical harm?

Holly said...

Yes. When you are wearing a live porcupine.


  1. I dunno, I wouldn't be so opposed to attracting a giraffe. Not sexually, obviously. But attracting one to hang out with me and let me ride it like a pony. OMQF, I would take my giraffe ~everywhere~. We would go to Central Park and she would get to eat leaves off the trees and everyone would think we were so cool. She would even fit in with the NYC transportation aesthetic, being mostly yellow and all.

  2. I want to ride a hippopotamus everywhere. Just everywhere.

  3. People need to stop blaming the victim! And this goes for so many things.

    People don't want to hire women because they might get sexually harassed at work. People don't want to give women a chance in case they disrupt a male-dominated atmosphere. They punish the victim instead of the pigs that create the environment, and that's absolutely disgusting.

  4. I actually have heard the "we can't hire her- the men will never leave her alone!"

    They will once a few of them get fired for not leaving her alone. And we're not talking workers in a field where there are only so many people with the skills and experience to fill the position, we're talking a field where a particularly smart monkey could have done the work, so there was no reason to fear losing a few of the guys.

  5. Well, I for one fully support your right to wear comfortable and spathic outfits whenever you wish.

    And I am completely delighted by the idea of somebody wearing a live porcupine. Surely we can arrange this... with SCIENCE!

  6. If I may, allow me to summarize my initial reactions reading the first few sentences from the exchange onwards, for the amusment of others at my own expense (
    it's 7:24am here, so my inability to recognise context may be a symptom of still being half-asleep)

    Tit for Tat said...
    "Ok, is there any time that you should be aware that what you are wearing might potentially cause you physical harm?"

    Harm? You mean... like... dangly earring's while playing sports? Shirts made of fabric that gives you a rash? High heels?

    Holly said...
    "Yes. When you are wearing a live porcupine."

    Well, that was going to be my next suggestion.

    "I, quite literally, spewed iced coffee all over my ipod. (They hold up well to that sort of abuse.)"
    I don't get it. I'm so confused right now.

    "My 63-year-old mother-in-law (hereinafter "MIL") was sitting next to me when this happened, and she asked me what was so funny. I explained it to her, and she said, "You tell him, Holly!""
    Tell him what?! That he shouldn't be wearing live porcupines? Somebody help me!

    "Now, you may be thinking "Wow, 63 and championing hot pants,"
    Oh... Ooooh... So the "harm" was... oh, now I get it. Heh. Heh heh heh. Oh hey, this is an opportunity to summarize how I just reacted for the amusment of others at my own expense! What fun. :D

  7. Okay, now I've read the full post.

    There's a book I read a review of that I've been meaning to pick up for so long I've forgotten the name of the book (epic fail), which is the autobiography of a woman from Saudi Arabia (I think), who effectively grew up wearing a burka. She came to a western city (New York, I think), believing what she'd been told: that it was a city of sin, that there'd be indecency and foul behavior everywhere, that the people would have no respect for her, etc. And she was surprised, shocked even, to be able to walk through the city without being shoved or pushed about, without enduring catcalls or leers or generally being disrespected.

    That really stuck with me: to anyone could find it suprising to be treated with basic decency. And that review is what eventually lead me to condemn the burka, condemn the "cover-up-it's-modest" crowd, and generally condemn the anti-feminists. That is what sexual-repression and covering up in the name of "traditional morals" gets you: shoved around, treated like an object, etc.

    Of course, you don't need anecdotes* to know the burka will have that effect, it's basic psychology. Cover the face, you take away the primary cause of empathy, and the mind instinctively registers a cylinder of fabric rather than a person. Inversely: uncover areas of skin in platonic circumstance and you desexualise those area's. And a rapist who is desensitised to the sight of a bare shoulder (oh my, sausy) is less likely to be inflamed by their desire and imagination.

    Put it this way: If the remote tribes who don't wear shirts found breasts as attractive as western society does, they'd never have time to get anything done. Therefore, a good percentage of our (men and gay women I assume) attraction to breasts is because we don't see them, and thus we mentally associate them with the only situation in which we do see them: sex.

    I was going to make a joke starting with "The only sensible solution, therefore, is...", but I decided against it because I don't make those sort of jokes.

    *footnote: anecdotes are useless, but emotionally powerful: very important to always keep this in mind. It's okay to be inspired by an anecdote, but go looking for evidence to support it before you get carried away.

  8. Quasar is so very right...

    here's an anecdote [after he explained how anecdotes aren't FACTS, lol]

    as i "admitted" not too long ago on this blog, i spend like 95% of my time naked.

    my best friend is bi, and apparantly, she used to "wonder". wonder whether having sex with me would be fun.

    then... she started having to either help me get dressed or deal with me being naked.

    now, i'm almost always naked around her. and so she felt comfortable enough to tell me she USED to "wonder" - but now can't. because she's seen it, and it's NOT sexy anymore, it's just ME.

    [on the flip side is Pete, who ALSO almost always sees me naked, and is pretty much ALWAYS willing to have sex if i can. difference there is, i think, KNOWLEDGE - he KNOWS what having sex with me is like, both naked and in various stages of dress - whereas BF? only had imagination, and once the ability to *imagine* me being naked was usurped BY me being naked, all the "mystery" went away. i've done that, too - REALLY wanted to have sex with a guy, until he was naked. *shrug*]

    all that said - Holly is pretty damned cool :)

  9. Thank you for posting the link to the grerp blog above; after reading some of the truly nasty comments over there, I felt inspired to sit down and actually reason out why that particular line of thought always makes me want to punch something. (And then I posted it there, because I enjoy stirring up trouble.)


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