Saturday, May 28, 2011

Words Have Meanings: Unique

This is the most joyous creature on earth. Starting now, I am the founder of a religion that promises each truly true believer their own sloth.

Unique: Characteristic of a particular category, condition, or locality: a problem unique to coastal areas.

In fairness, the above is the third definition of unique, because that is the way it is being used in the post I am snarking on. I am all about the fairness.

As used above, "unique" denotes something that can only be applied to the thing in question. Hurricanes are problems unique to coastal regions. Hurricanes don't form over land, so you won't see hurricanes in Indiana or Iowa, for example. (Um, Germany?, for the Europeans.) This is important, because if you say certain characteristics are unique to a specific group or place, you can't use characteristics that can apply to anyone or anywhere. If you do, I can only assume that either you don't know what "unique" means, or that you have a rather odd view of other groups. I'm going with the latter.

The Unique Characteristics of a Godly Woman:

Here are some characteristics of a godly woman--check off the ones that describe you:

  • Gracious
I'm an atheist and I'm gracious! [checks definition of "gracious"] Well, at least some of the time. We'll give that one a half check.
  • Virtuous
No. I'm not that, not by the stretch of anyone's imagination.
  • Sober
Yes, actually. Drinking alcohol while taking Vicodin is a good way to end up with liver failure.
  • Chaste
  • Prudent
I am probably the most practical person you know. In fact, that is why I did not major in philosophy. I love philosophy, but I am simply too practical to really engage a discussion of whether or not the real world is the really real world.
  • Discreet
Well, it's not like I have sex in public, except that one time, in the park . . . okay, no.
  • Peaceable
Fuck yeah! Seriously, I think pacifism is the solution to a lot of humanity's problems. I'm just too practical to think it's a workable solution.
  • Patient
That I most definitely am.
  • Kind
Yes. I am kind.
  • Faithful
To what? God? No. My friends, my beliefs, my principals, few as they are? Yes.
  • Joyful
Overall, yes.
  • Good
Now I'm getting all kinds of offended. Only Christian women are good? How rude!
  • Merciful
I haven't set anyone on fire yet. Considering the provocations, that's damn merciful.
  • Pleasant
That's really a question for people who interact with me.
  • Ready
  • Honorable
Yes. I'm not sure the writer would accept my personal sense of honor as such, but she didn't define "honor" for me, so I'm giving this one a check.
  • Benevolent
You know, that's an odd word to describe a person with. Usually you see "benevolent" used to describe dictators or gods.
  • Keeper at Home
Typing this at work, so, no.
  • In Subjection
To what?
  • Quiet Spirit
If my spirit were any louder, you'd all be deaf.
  • Modest
What definition? How she is no doubt defining "modesty", purely on the basis of skirt lengths and such, no, but what about the real definition of "modest"? I had a heck of a time saying "yes" to any of this stuff, and it's all positive, or meant to be, so . . . another half check.
  • Obedient
To what? The laws of the US? Yes.
  • Loves husband and children
Who the fuck doesn't love at least their children? That's got to be the most insulting thing I've ever read. Only Christian women love their husbands and children? Fuck you!
  • Teaching the younger women
Doing so right now, asshat. As we speak. So, ha!


  1. But see you are not truely unique. Christian uniqueness is more uniquely unique, uniquer than the most uniquest uniqueity of all uniquedom; you are only uniqueesque, more ununique than uniqueish.

  2. How do you find these blogs?
    My brain hurts after looking into her Feminism category. I've yet to encounter Feminism that forbids women to be a stay at home mom. *doh*

  3. The idea that women or men have "unique" qualities bothers the hell out of me. You only ever hear people talking like that when they think the opposite sex is an alien species. Making a whole huge deal of "womanly" or "manly" qualities can only serve as a wedge to drive the sexes apart and legitimize chauvinistic behaviour.

    Or, I dunno...I guess if you're female-identified and happen to have a lot of stereotypically "feminine" traits, and you're only attracted to stereotypical manly-men, then a romantic relationship with one will feel awesome and right, even though he's a Mysterious Brute Who Cannot Express His Emotions or Work the Dishwasher.

    Personally, I don't understand how it's possible to fall in love with someone when you're communicating across some huge unbridgeable gender divide...I feel close to my bf because he's similar to me in most ways. We get each other.

  4. Characteristics, by themselves, can't be used to reliably describe any group of human beings. Skin color, sexual preference, handedness, political affiliation, etc - I dare anyone to list a single characteristic that always accurately identifies a group of people.

    Once we leave the realm of "always accurate identification", however, and groups of characteristics become both practical and useful.

    I reject the notion that there aren't indicators of "godly femininity", but by the same token, those indicators aren't 100% reliable either

  5. Whateverman;

    the point is that these aren't identifiers that are UNIQUE to "Godly femininity" - that they aren't even "unique" to women as a whole. they can be the indicators of "godly femininity" but they cannot be the "unique identifiers of godly femininity" because it's NOT only women with "godly femininity" who possess them.

    and i totally see how PF was insulted at some of them - because it IS insulting.

  6. WTF does this have to do with "woman"? Is there one characteristic on there that males can't have?

  7. Uzza: As a man, I'd be extremely hesitant to presume to teach younger women. Especially in regards to the things the original creator of this list had in mind, like what it means to be a woman, or worse, a "proper woman."

  8. uzza, it's been to long since i said "i just plain adore you!" so i say it now.

    Jarred; that hesitance [i'm not sure that's the right word... reluctance, maybe?] isn't endimic to your gender/sex - there are LOTS of men who do teach women, and [sadly] there are quite a few men who teach this list to younger women/girls as THE way they should be.
    no, that hesitance/relunctance comes not from your gender/sex, but from your BRAIN. that thing that works as an AC for all of us, and that some [like you] also use to THINK. specifically, in this case, to think something like "i'm not a woman, i don't really KNOW what it's LIKE to be a woman, i don't have any RIGHT to *teach* anyone what it's like to be a woman, therefor i won't. but even if i were somehow compelled to "teach women about being women" i would NOT teach this crap, because it's utter crap".

    i probably didn't get that guess as to your thoughts correct - but i bet it's at least 70% accurate [at least, based on what i think i know about you, and how and what you've written since you showed up] even if the wording is off. :)


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