Thursday, March 17, 2011

Hey, Baby, Wanna Blow Me?

Filed under "Dispatches from the Rape Culture", I give you two unrelated but related vignettes:

The weather's been trending upwards lately and I've been taking the opportunity to walk around at lunch. Outside, away from my desk, in public. I know, I totally deserved what happened yesterday. Being out in public while female. What was I thinking?

I'm waiting at the corner for the light to change and a blue Jeep with the top down (it hasn't been that warm out) full of guys careens around a left hand turn, taking the opportunity to ask if I'd like to engage in sexual activity with them. Actually, one of them yelled, "Hey, Baby, wanna blow me?" as they barreled past me at a high rate of speed. I guess they weren't exactly prepared for a positive reply.

Welcome to the Rape Culture, "baby", where sexually transgressing against passers-by is good clean fun.


The CEO of the local hospital we represent is a woman. I talk to her all the time, and while she is always perfectly polite, she is not in any way friendly or happy. She is business. A coworker of mine was complaining about it, "Oh, the bank vice presidents are always so funny and she's just mean!"

She's not mean. She's business. And those bank vice presidents are all men. And they are jovial fellows for the most part. Always with a joke and a smile. Whatever you call a woman like that- it's not "jovial"- you don't call her CEO of a hospital. Men have a little breathing room to be funny, women are too busy working twice as hard and convincing everyone they do not like pink. Or flowers. Or fluffy kittens. A man in a suit is business until proven otherwise, a woman in a suit will have to convince you. And then apologize for being "mean".


  1. I am doing what I can to help change that, I am raising my son not to be like that and with education things can and will change. I apologize for every male out there that has been a total insensitive jerk at any time, which I am sure I have been at some point and probably will be again without thinking but I am listening and trying to change.

  2. I kind of assumed most readers of this blog are not yelling sexual advances out of speeding vehicles, but thanks anyway. I suppose with some things, it is the thought that counts.

  3. I kind of assumed most readers of this blog are not yelling sexual advances out of speeding vehicles

    Some of us don't yell anything out of speeding vehicles.

    Unless the windows are open.

    And I can't let my fingers do the talking for some reason.

  4. I kind of assumed most readers of this blog are not yelling sexual advances out of speeding vehicles

    Of course not. You have to slow down, otherwise she can't hear you and you don't get to see the disgusted look on her face.

  5. Also, I think women should play off their advantages in these situations. Motion him over and kick him square in the balls then spray him with bear mace. A woman would never get charged, let alone found guilty and sentenced, for stuff like that. Being a woman is like a legal free pass, but since women are kinder people, this thought doesn't even enter their head.

  6. Yeah, I figured you would assume that, but I felt like saying something and acknowledging that I have failed at times myself, I have not yelled out of car windows like that but nonetheless I have failed.

  7. Have you ever heard of the blog "Fat Ugly or Slutty?" Its sort of like STFU believers or STFU Parents, but its where women gamers post horribly misogynistic things that have been said to them on X-box Life simply for being female gamers. Its pretty disturbing.

    Also our buddy Justin has a new post about hell today. He seems quite obsessed with it.

    I also found this gem in his past posts:

    I bet he's a lot of fun at parties.

  8. I bet he's a lot of fun at parties.

    I always invite him to mine. Except I tell him to show up four hours after everyone else so they GTFO of my apartment and I can go take a nap.

  9. "Hey baby, wanna blow me?" is a sexual advance?

  10. "Hey baby, wanna blow me?" is a sexual advance?

    That's really high on my list of questions, too. I was just having a hard time figuring out how to ask.

    I pretty much got to, "What the hell sort of answer are you expecting to get, dingus?" and then I realized that said dingus wasn't here to answer for himself.

    And then I started thinking about puppies or something. I have to be honest, I was up until three o'clock this morning and my brane isn't wurking too good.

  11. What do you call those little metal stars that you throw on the ground and they pop cars tires? You need some of those. They should come in a kit with a bottle of mace, an illegally-modified taser and those heels Adora Belle Dearheart wears in Going Postal. "In pounds-per-inch it's like being stepped on by a very pointy elephant."

    Oh, and Jason mentioned the girl-gamer phenomena, so I just had to link this xkcd comic.

  12. Google ate my long-ass comment vividly describing NYC on St. Paddy's Day. e_e

    Shorter CN: I get offers. Got some offers today, in fact. One day I'm going to say "sure!" just to see what happens. I shall report back.

  13. Personally, I wish tagging street harassers was legal and encouraged as a public service. Kind of like forest rangers tagging trees that need be removed, we could spray and paintball (for vehicles, goodness you wouldn't think I'd want to cause the poor dears any pain would you? No no, officer it was all a mistake that pepper ball to the groin, you know how it is on busy days!)them as gentle reminders to our fellow women that they are in the self imposed Lysistrata pool.

  14. What do you call those little metal stars that you throw on the ground and they pop cars tires?


  15. Bret beat me to it.

    and i seriously have to agree with PPB here - i'd go for it.

    strangely, i'm STILL being harrassed in a wheelchair. it's slightly different now - it's "hey, you're already at the right place to suck my cock, baby!" instead of just "suck my cock, baby!"


    [althought, to be honest, i actually sort of appreciate the "just" randomly thrown things. better than the creepy guy who WON'T. GO. AWAY. seriously - and they're always at gas stations, for me at least - there i am, innocently pumping gas, and some guy walks up and starts chatting me. and i'll VERY quickly say "i have a boyfriend" and the answer is ALWAYS either "i don't care/didn't ask" or "what he doesn't know won't hurt him".
    sometimes, they do it even when i'm with Pete. actually, it's WORSE with Pete around - i've been told "you sleep with one brother, you can sleep with them all" and "if you're fucking a black man, you'll do anything". including, apparantly, cheat on him. and etc ad infinum. i hate males that aren't children but SURE as fuck aren't ADULTS]

    when man demands i "blow" him, i tend to literally blow air at him. but i'm sort of snarky and into puns. also, it never, EVER seems to get thru to him - he just thinks i'm weird, not understanding that i've LITERALLY done what he asked. because these kinds of guys tend to be REALLY stupid.


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