I'm a fan of similes and metaphors. I use them all the time. It's my thing. Unfortunately, similes and metaphors can be a bit like using a rocket launcher in an enclosed space, it'll get the job done, but you're going down, too. And you'll forever be remembered as that idiot who used a rocket launcher in a bathroom.
Today, I'm addressing metaphors for virginity preservation. They are legion, and they are, to a one, Teh Stoopid.
Your vagina is a present and no one wants a regifted present. Any sexual activity, including kissing, is like unwrapping the present. You can't ever get that wrapping paper to look as nice again.
First of all, I'm sure a collector of first edition books would be thrilled to get a book somebody else owned. Secondly, people are not objects and your breasts feel the same no matter how many people have touched them.
Thirdly, this displays a rather appalling lack of manners. Sure, I like wrapping presents and I like unwrapping presents, but wrapping is only there to give you an extra moment of "oooh, what could this be?" If someone hands me an unwrapped gift, I receive it with no less enthusiasm, and anyone who does deserves an angry badger stuffed down their pants.
Really, I wonder if these people realize they are implying that first time sex is the only sex worth having. I mean, even if you're married, that gift is unwrapped. It's pointless and unspecial now.
You're about to learn something about me you may not wish to know.
First time sex is never the best sex, and I'm not even talking about virginal sex, which tends to be awkward, embarrassing and involves a lot of "oh, sorry about that". For example, I've read enough erotica to know nipples are supposed to be where it's at. Maybe I'm a freak of nature, but my nipples aren't that sensitive. You know what is? My collarbones. You know how I found that out? (It's not like touching my own collarbones does anything for me, though I can tickle myself.) By making out with a guy who had a thing for chomping on collarbones. If not for that dear, dear man, I may never have known that.
And that's why first time sex is never the best sex. It takes time and experience to figure out what works for you. Sex is like a book printed 200 years ago: it's only getting better with time.
Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Because women aren't farm animals and sex is not the point of marriage, or it shouldn't be, anyway. I'm sure that might work out for a few months, but eventually you'll have to talk to one another. You might want to have something in common other than a raging libido. Just a thought.
This is a favorite of Mormons. A group of children are asked if they would like a cookie. Being children, they agree enthusiastically. Then a plate of crumbled, soggy cookies is brought out and those children are told that if they have sex, they're like those cookies- inedible. I'm not sure why anyone would wish to be attractive to cannibals, but whatever.
The vagina is not a cookie. The penis is not a cookie. They do not get worn out or crumbly or soggy or loose. Breasts do not develop permanent hand prints if touched too much. Neither do asses. Even if they did, why would having lots of sex with one person be different in that matter from having lots of sex with lots of different people? C'mon now.
This applies to making out before marriage, but may be the most disturbing of them all. Why light a match if you don't intend to start a fire? (To light a candle, to provide a brief moment of light, to light fireworks?) Why make out if you don't intend to have sex?
If you think about this for more than 5 seconds, you realize how very steeped in the rape culture this analogy is. Think about this for 10 seconds and it gets frightening. Kissing leads to touching and touching leads to sex, so don't kiss anyone if you don't intend to fuck them right there on the spot. All kissing must lead to sex. All kissing, touching, making out is only a prelude to sex, so don't start anything you don't intend to finish.
Look, I know you said "no" when he ripped off your pants, but you were kissing him. You let him touch your breasts. Why would you light a match if you don't intend to start a fire? Slut.
Yeah, that got rapey right quick, didn't it? That's because obsession with virginity is all part of the rape culture. The one you're living in right now. Cows and presents and cookies? Those are all devices of the rape culture, too. Just so you know.
*Someday, I'm going to get a PhD. This will be the title of my thesis.