Tony sat on his sofa surfing away on the tube.....
Surfing the tube, huh?
Life is fast and ya gotta play hard ....that is his motto
Really? My motto is water is wet and ur gonna need a towel.
last night, he was clubbing and this morning he's paying...."4 ibuprofen's and a gatorade...he's got to fuel up and replenish because he's dehydrated from too much alcohol
I . . . I . . . where does the quote end? Is that a quote? I'm a little unsure. In all honesty 4 advils and a gatorade is just a normal morning for me.
head's a pounding, his stomach's turning and life's passing him by....that part he doesn't get
"head's a pounding"? why are you doing this to me? it hurts- my soul.
his cell phone's got ten messages ....."Tony, I just called to remind you of the INVITE" "hey Tony, hope you get a chance to come" "hey bro, heard Sandy Invited ya already, but just wanted to invite ya myself....hope to see ya there"
okay, look, i don't care how you pronounce "you", it is spelled y-o-u. that is one more letter than "ya", i think you can handle it. also, why does "invite" keep getting unnecessary capitals? is it perhaps the capitol of some nation i am unfamiliar with? RSVPia?
It's Easter Sunday....and Tony had been invited to his cousin's church....they are having this drama or some type of special service "for us heathens" Tony had thought
who thinks "for us heathens"? anyone? anyone? is anyone in america unaware that christian churches have special services on easter?
"I know what they are up to?" "I got their game all figured out"
"I'm not their token show pony"
WTF does that mean? "token show pony"? i . . . i . . . my soul, it is weeping.
his head throbs in pain....."if I needed God to get women or something I could understand" but he see's
"see's"?! that is an apostrophe, not a decoration!
three text from his newest entree's on his phone....
i can't decide what's bothering me more, the use of "entree" in this situation, or the repeated apostrophe abuse. apostrophes are not used to create plurals, in case you were confused. the "s" does that. the "s" does not need further help.
"hey stud...can't wait to hook up next week" "yo, Tony it's me from last night at Grumpy's....REMEMBER?" "thanks for the drinks, call me when your in my area...we will have to hook up ..ya know?"
Tony smiles in pride...."I hear ya ladies"..."so many women, and so little time"
i really dislike present tense writing.
SO LITTLE TIME.....boy did Tony have that right
DUM DUM DUM!
flying through the channels ..crashed on his couch, he came to one channel where a man stood speaking to the camera
a news reporter? "flying" and "crashed"? this is the description of an aviation accident.
"Today is the day of salvation, Now is the appointed time, and maybe Last time you are EVER GOING TO HAVE THIS OPPORTUNITY AGAIN" ....
Tony hit the mute and cursed..."shut the heck up dude" "I've heard that all my life, Jesus has been coming back for over 2,000 years....give it a rest"
he didn't change the channel?
His cell phone is buzzing...new text
elipses do not replace words. His cell phone is buzzing, he has a new text. now was that so hard?
"Tony, so sorry you missed us today, .....praying you can come next week"
"Praying for ya Tony, prayed all service cause I thought you said you would come" "75 people gave their lives to Jesus ...it was awesome"
DELETE, DELETE, DELETE
don't blame you, Tony.
as quick as they came....Tony deleted every mention of Jesus and Church, his family was a bunch of "holy rollers" and it was just not on his radar
he had world's to conquer...women to meet
comma, use a fucking comma!
but the last text to come across ....jarred him for a sec
A space! That's all that is necessary, a single space. "but the last text to come across jarred him for a secOND".
"Hey Tony, it's Lizzie, I heard you might be at Church today....got my hopes up again but you didn't make it"
Tony slammed his cell phone shut.....Lizzie has always been his dream girl, but she dumped his butt when she gave her life to Jesus and Tony has resented Jesus ever since
um, sure, okay. Tony got cockblocked by Jesus. that's why we're all atheists. although, in my case, that would have to be a vagblock? Pussyblock? I'm not even sure.
all day long Tony ponders a reply, he hasn't hit delete to Lizzie's Message ..but it's not worth a reply
after a long nap.....his hangover "stealing time"
what does that mean? why is it in quotes? why is my brain outside of my skull, crawling away?
it's 10pm CST .....He turns his tv set back on.....BREAKING NEWS.......JUST MOMENTS AGO....911 call centers started receiving calls reporting hundreds and thousands of missing people
The Rapture occurs at 10pm CST? So, 11pm EST? Good to know.
Tony sat up from his place on his couch, His heart racing....."Tony, someday Jesus will Shout and Call His Church Home"..."and I don't want to miss out" "you can give Your Life to Jesus with Me or NOT but I'm going to be ready with or without you"
Lizzie's former plea... flashes in Tony's mind as he quickly picks up his cell phone and hits SEND ..calling Lizzie's number....NO ANSWER
NO ANSWER. DUM DUM DUM!
Tony dials his brother and sister n law who had text him earlier to remind him of THE
INVITE........NO ANSWER....PANIC sets in....
JESUS Has come and those most closest to Tony are Gone....They Heard the Shout
but NOT TONY,
He was NOT READY
Yeah, Tony, you have to take a shower before Jesus comes. Gatorade and Advil are not going to cut it.