Thursday, July 2, 2009

Chuck Norris Needs to Stick with Kickboxing

Or whatever it is he did before writing paranoid, bigoted rants for WND.

atheism, atheist, humanism, secularism, humanist, chuck norris, stupid, christian, christianity,
This past week an ABC News debate aired on "Nightline," which pitted popular theists against Internet atheists. the theists were popular, the atheists were internet. okay. While I'll have more to say about that battle of wits in my next article, it testifies to the growing number (30 million Americans) of those who profess there is no God. Add to that what I believe is possibly three times the number of functional atheists, you know what this reminds me of? apartheid in South Africa. they were obsessed with who was white and who was not. blue eyed blondes with pale skin were easy enough to quantify as white, but what about those with dark hair and dark eyes and darker skin? they had a test they would give to little children in which they would take a pencil and stick it in their hair. if the pencil fell right out of the hair, they were white. if the pencil stayed put, they were black. (by that test, i'm black.) the fundy obsession with atheists and "functional atheists" reminds me of that. those who believe in a God but practically don't show it, and America is facing a new religious horizon in which atheism is becoming a formidable foe. we're not a "rising movement" or an "important political force", but a "formidable foe". i love it.

Though the majority of Americans continue to claim to be Christians they "claim" to be, but we know better, a Gallup poll discovered 45 percent of us would support an atheist for president. o_O Such a survey is a clear indication that the secularization of society is alive and well. i guess we are formidable, after all.

The opponents of God i don't oppose what doesn't exist.

Once upon a time, years ago, it seemed that the only major fire for atheism burned from the anti-Christian work of Madelyn Murray O'Hair and the American Atheist organization, whose claim to fame was the banning of prayer and Bible reading in public schools in 1963. operative word being "public", asshat.

Today many more antagonist groups we're not atheists, we're antagonistic and individuals to theism abound, chuck, get a freakin' editor. you meant "today many more groups and individuals antagonistic to theism abound" and they are using every means possible for global proliferation you know what else "proliferates"? nuclear weapons.– from local government to the World Wide Web. the internet? Such secular progressives include the Institute for Humanist Studies, Secular Coalition of America, American Atheists, American Humanist Association, Internet Infidels, the Atheist Alliance International, Secular Student Alliance, Society for Humanistic Judaism, Freedom From Religion Foundation, Military Association of Atheists and Freethinkers, etc. Of course no list of atheistic advocates would be complete without mentioning the ACLU and Planned Parenthood no, uh, now you've made the list include nonatheist organizations, unless pap smears for poor women have become a new form of atheism., as well as the anti-God militancy of men like Richard Dawkins and Sam Harris. they're eeeeeeevuuuuulllll!!11!!

Though the U.S. Constitution outlaws religious discrimination, these organizations and individuals would love nothing more than to help society look with distain upon Christianity and, ultimately, make its components illegal. no, that's not where we're going, Chuck. in fact, the ACLU would do whatever necessary to stop that. In fact, right now, they are coalescing oh, that's what that is. coalescing itches! and rallying at least 5 million of their troops how did the uniforms come out? did we go with the red, or did purple win out? to mount counter offensives to Christianity. like the Tet Offensive, only atheist.

For that reason I believe theistic patriots need to be wise to atheists' overt and covert schemes, exposing their agenda and fighting to lay waste to their plans. first of all, the militaristic language is freaking me out, secondly, we're not the NSA, chuck. we're atheists. we can't agree on a damn symbol. in fact, we can't agree if a symbol is a good idea or not. we're a long way from waging a war. the scary part is, the people who like Chuck, also have an unhealthy love of the Second Amendment. and he's riling them up against you and me.

Step 1: Initiate restrictions and legislation against theism and Christianity

In God we bust

For these liberal groups to win the war of ideological dominance okay, i would like to play that board game, they know they must minimize the effects of Christianity, which many are doing (unbeknownst to others) behind the scenes through lobbying and legislation. why do i never get invited to the secret offensives? In fact, two significant actions occurred on the National Day of Prayer let that one soak in just two weeks ago!

The London Telegraph noted that, while American Christians were praying across the land on the National Day of Prayer, atheists were petitioning the Texas Legislature against the civic display of the words, "In God We Trust."
Eroding and erasing theistic language in culture is a growing trend.
yes, because if my tax dollars don't pay to put your religion on everything possible, christianity just can't survive. Earlier this year George Washington dollar coins were not only inscribed with the words "In God We Trust" on their edges, but many excluded them entirely! wait, were they inscribed with IGWT or not? Such minting modifications are a flagrant defiance against theism yes, because you can't have theism unless it's on your money. render unto god what is god and unto caeser what is . . . oh, fuck it. and a public reflection of the place God is now relegated – to the fringes of society.

Secularists of course have made repeated attempts to rid "under God" from "The Pledge of Allegiance." it was added during the cold war by the same people that brought you McCarthyism. Thank God the Legislature of Texas is moving along a bill to include the words in our state pledge: "Honor the Texas flag; I pledge allegiance to thee, Texas, one state under God and indivisible." i'm a little concerned that texas has its own pledge. texas is still a part of the US, right? I was also grateful to read in the Dallas Morning News May 1 that the House also embraced legislation "that seeks to clarify the rights of Texas public school students to offer public prayers at football games or graduation, hand out religious messages or hold religious meetings during the school day if they want." yes, atheist Texans should totally pay for that. though i don't care if individual students want to pray at games or graduation.

Another example of atheistic advocacy can be found in the 10,000-member Freedom from Religion Foundation initiation of a Supreme Court case, which asserts that President Bush's faith-based initiatives pose a violation of the wall of separation between church and state. duh.

Atheists also received a proverbial shot in the arm by locating a representative and advocate of sorts in Rep. Pete Stark, D-Calif., who "is the first member of Congress – and the highest-ranking elected official in the country – to make known that he is a nontheist." anyone get the impression that Chuck thinks atheists shouldn't be allowed to hold elected positions?

His election stands in stark contrast to the wishes of our Founding Fathers, who encouraged American citizens to vote Christians into public office. As John Jay, the first chief justice of the United States, wrote to Jedidiah Morse on Feb. 28, 1797, "Providence has given to our people the choice of their rulers. And it is the duty as well as the privilege and interest, of a Christian nation to select and prefer Christians for their rulers." Treaty of Tripoli, bichez.

do you suppose chuck is capable of understanding the inherent hypocrisy here? it's okay to deny atheists the chance to hold elected office, but if we did that to christians, that would be the worstest thing ever? i bet he doesn't get that at all.

(the rest of this article is a screed against the hate crimes bill, because apparently, if you aren't committing hate crimes, you're not a christian. nice, Chuck.


  1. We went with purple uniforms, DUH. Purple is the color of teh gai, too. Killing two birds with one stone.

    Mine is kind of a lavender/lilac blend with a very fetching A-line skirt. You'd just love it.

  2. Yeah Purple, Mine came with a black beret and shoulder boards, but then again they made ME a lieutenant. (Pats self on back, goosesteps around desk)

  3. Earlier this year George Washington dollar coins were not only inscribed with the words "In God We Trust" on their edges...

    Uh, homeboy does realize that both nickels and pennies both have IGWT inscribed upon their edges, right? (Egad! This can only mean one thing: the Atheist Conspiracy has somehow procured a time machine!)

    Man, you guys all have cool uniforms. All they had left over for me that was purple was an old California Raisins costume. It smells like funk and it itches.

  4. I got a purple skirt to show off my nice long legs. They said it was for the womminz but I said I had to show off my legs.

  5. For many of us on the right, even non-atheists, the existence of World Net Daily is pretty embarrassing. If there is a right-wing conspiracy theory to be pushed, it will show up on WND. That goes double for anything with a religious angle.

  6. UNRR,

    I've never heard anyone refer to themselves as a 'non-atheist' before. Does that make me an anon-atheist? ;)

    Didn't Norris get his chest hair pulled out by Bruce Lee in Game of Death? That should pretty much render his opinion void to start with, no?

  7. Oh yeah, Chuckie has been mixing the kool-aid over at WND for quite some time. He seriously has no concept of the Constitution.

  8. Does that make me an anon-atheist?

    Crap. I'm gonna have to go change my Facebook profile now...

  9. Isn't anon-atheist the organization for the friends and loved ones of atheists?

  10. "I've never heard anyone refer to themselves as a 'non-atheist'"

    True. I'm not sure why I wrote that instead of theist :). Normally I try not to make up new words.

  11. I don't know UNRR, I kind of liked it, it has that whole "I am definately NOT an atheist feel", heheh.
    Just don't let old Chuckie hear of it, he'll whip it out in a rant and then it will spread like wild-fire.

  12. on the other hand, we could go deliberately provoke him with it. . .

  13. Well he doesn't live that far from me, exactly where I have no clue. Sadly he is also an Oklahoman, at least he was born in Oklahoma. Texas can have him now, we have enough loonies as is.

  14. I know you're articulate and intelligent, having read you for some time... but set your sights higher than Chuck fucking Norris, please. This cerry-picking does not suit you, nor serve your cause. Which I agree with.


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