Monday, July 6, 2009

Today at Victoria's Secret*

I realized certain truths need to be explained:

I do not want my bras and panties covered in bows - because I'm not five years old.

Also, if you are a man being dragged into Victoria's Secret by a woman, I understand you're uncomfortable. I understand that you don't want to be there- though you also do want to be there. I understand you're not sure where to rest your gaze. My chest is not a good choice. Looking at the panties I am examining, then looking at my crotch is an even worse one. Doing it while your girlfriend is watching you is the worst choice yet.

*The semiannual sale is winding down. If you miss it, you'll miss crazy cheap prices until December.

12 comments:

  1. Why did you just describe every trip I had to make there with my ex?

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  2. Wait, you were the guy in the skirt?

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  3. Hahaha, oh isn't that the truth. The only thing better is the line of guys standing outside trying not to imagine the women inside in the underwear they are holding.

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  4. Ha, that can't be truer! Also works for Agent Provocateur, Town Shop, La Perla, the "intimates" section in any store that sells other things...I used to tell my Ex-Boy he was welcome to go anywhere else.

    I hope the girlfriend of the guy in question got after him and not you!

    Bows are soooo stupid on bras and panties. You want your lingerie to fade in the background when you put on a T-shirt and the jeans that make your rear look good.

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  5. I just don't get the bows.

    And his girlfriend came pretty close to removing his heart with her bare hands and displaying it as a warning to all other men. she was awesome.

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  7. Skirts are so freeing and feel so good.

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  8. BeamStalk, I can only hope for you that you are of Scottish extraction. That would probably make you happy.

    As for men in Victoria's Secret... I miss the old economy, when I could afford to get my bras at the places that buzz the clients in.

    As for bows and shit, I don't understand putting anything on a bra that's going to stick out more under your shirt than a cold nipple. I mean, doesn't that... like... defeat 40% of the point of a bra? (Ha. "point" of the "bra." ha. ha ha ha.)

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  9. There's a secret moment that is sometimes shared between men. A moment of pure empathy that transcends all others in it's uniqueness and importance.

    It's that look of solidarity between men who have found themselves in a woman's clothing store with no hope of escape, that look that says 'you too, eh?'. It always makes me smile.

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  10. Cynical Nymph, my great grandmother's maiden name was McNevin. :)

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  11. Well, BeamStalk, sounds like you're in luck. Kilts ahoy!

    I had to wear kilts at Catholic school. Want my old ones? My mom probably still has them.

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