I thought I'd just throw that out there, because apparently some people don't have access to a freakin' dictionary. Just as soon as I get done banning the wearing of leggings as pants, one second after I become Empress of the Entire Freakin' World, I will distribute dictionaries to everyone on Earth. As soon as everyone gets done reading them, I'll implement the GayLiberalFacistFemisocialatheist Agenda.
I just finished reading this well-done
post on how to come to the conclusion every modern woman asks herself: Am I
a feminist or am I not a feminist?Simply put, this post explains feminism in
these terms: If you believe in, support, look fondly on, hope for, and/or
work towards equality of the sexes, you are a feminist. I am relieved I read
this article. I am relieved it was so well written. It simply defined something
most complicated. I can say until tonight--one hour ago--I was not educated
enough to answer the question for myself. But I think I can answer it now.
Tonight. Hopefully. I am not a feminist. Because I don't support, look fondly
on, hope for and/or work towards equality. Equality, that is my hang-up.
Because who wants equality? It's wicked. And undesirable. Like peace.
Equality has never done any good for me. When I try to look at the world with my
equalizer glasses it leaves me empty and upset. Equality presents a scale and
binds you. And when I dissect my marriage, nothing makes me more anxious then
the expectation that things are equal. It makes a measuring stick out of our
relationship. And I don't want to spend an entire marriage judging the allowance
of equality.Speaking of my relationship, Chup will surely remind me that this is
all semantics, so let me define equality (for me) : fairness.And life is not
fair. So how can it be equal?
Really, equality has never done any good for you? You don't vote, own property, choose whom you'll marry, enter into contracts or write a fucking blog? Really? Amazing.
Equality is not a measuring stick. Equality is, quite simply, that I and my spouse have the same opportunities and responsibilities as one another. We can each work. We can each own the house and other property. We can each do chores. I am not his chattel, he is not mine. We are equal persons. Our respective chromosomal arrangments do not enter into it.
Life isn't fair. That's true. But "equal" does not mean "fair". Also, I reject the assumption that because all things are not fair, we should not aspire to fairness. That's like saying that not all things are beautiful, therefore we should reject beauty in our lives. That house down the street is a wreck, I'm still keeping my paintings, thank you very much.
But even if it could, I don't want to be equal to the males in my life. I just
want to be me. If that means I am more, then I am more, if that means I am less,
I am less. But most of the time I think I am more. And I think most women are
too, but that is a post for another day.
Oh, so you are not a feminist. Feminists believe women are equal to men and vice versa, while you have a superiority complex. This is not something to be proud of.
On a personal note, I was raised with five brothers in a family where being
a boy was a joy. A joy! The boys went on fishing excursions, deer hunts and
summer trips to Dodger games in LA. And even though I'd rather chew on tinfoil
then do any three of those chosen adventures, I often resented their
opportunities. Because I was looking for "me" in all of that. Where was my
adventure? Where was my harrowing experience on the ocean? My Dodger dog? (Was
that a Freudian slip?)
So, you had the typical bullshit Mormon upbringing in which boys and girls are treated unequally and unfairly, therefore equality is bad? I had something you didn't have, therefore nobody should have it, including your daughters? Also not something to be proud of. (And if that's a Freudian slip, I seriously don't want to know about it.)
It was the very search for equality that made me feel unimportant. I wish I
would've been happy for them. Supported their celebration without hoping for
reciprocal experiences. Besides, they didn't owe me their good times to make up
for my losses. In the end, I didn't even have losses. I just had
differences.
No, what made you feel unimportant was being treated as less important. What you're angry about is the fact that upbringings like mine allowed you to see something you wanted and didn't have, made you aware of a different way. So now, instead of being angry at those who treated you like less (your parents), you're angry at those who made you aware that it was less (feminists). We call that displacement.
Equality to me is like elective plastic surgery. Sure you can get the desired
results, but it won't guarantee certain happiness.
Who said it would? Feminism never promised you a rose garden, my dear. We just want to give you the opportunity to plant it.
I win, I am taller and thus you can never equal me in height! Bow to me as your supreme ruler!
ReplyDeleteOr at least until someone taller shows up...