Wednesday, March 17, 2010

If You Enjoy It, God Hates It

God doesn't know your phone number, does he?

Usually fundys have to blather on about feminazis, abortion or the evils of universal health care to make me foam at the mouth, but these two asshats got me with a dog. A really cute dog.

We are getting rid of our dog, Jake. Before you jump to conclusions about
why we're getting rid of him, let me tell you why.

It's not because we don't love him, it's not because we can't handle having
a dog, it's not because it's too stressful, it's not even because we can't play
with him, it's simply because we feel that the Lord is telling us to do this.
Why? We know one reason is because Jake can be a distraction to us. It takes
time and effort to have a dog, time that really isn't producing fruit that's
worth it. Sure, he's fun! We LOVE spending time with him and training him, but
ultimately it's not going to produce fruit that will last for eternity. We can't
train a dog to win souls for the lost or pray out the plan of God! :) Too

No, but you could take responsibility for the animal that bonded with you, the animal that trusts you and loves you.

First of all, that flippant little "too bad" at the end makes me think they didn't really like the dog all that much. If you look at the pictures of Jake, you'll see that he is a Chocolate Lab. Labs are the sweetest of dogs, but they are fairly large, high energy, very playful and require a lot of patient, consistent training. I personally think these people have a dog they can't handle and are passing off their decision to dump the poor dear as "god's will".

However, suppose they truly don't want to give up their precious Jake? Suppose, despite evidence to the contrary, that they are heartbroken over being "forced" to give up their dog? What does that tell you about their god?

Oh my, is that an extra second you have there- PRAY! Do you have to pee so much? You're wasting time that could be used to pray. Sleeping is for atheists, you should be praying! Are you enjoying that? You shouldn't be enjoying things- you've got god! Is there anything else you enjoy, perhaps books or music or pretty clothes? Give that up, too! There is nothing of yours god does not require- he demands it all!

Yeesh, what a bleak life that must be. I sincerely hope they're just immature dog dumpers, because the alternative is pathetic.


  1. As an animal person, let me say, screw you trentandjess. Holy crap, you can not do that. That is cruel, and these people suck for blaming it on God. Jesus Christ, that is the dumbest reason ever, and it pisses me off because I really think it is an excuse. Grow a pair and own up to the fact that you don't want the dog, don't blame it on God.

  2. They don't say what they did with him and it concerns me that Jake may have ended up in a shelter. Big dogs, adult dogs and black/dark brown dogs are the least likely to be adopted. Poor baby is all three.

  3. I cannot even describe the evilness of this move. The heartlessness it displays. It really is one thing if you decide that you cannot handle or be a responsible parent to the dog. But this is just insane. I need to go home and hug my two babies and tell them that I will never leave them. You can look at a beautiful picture of them here:

  4. Is there anything better than a pile o' dogs? As soon as I read that, I called home and had Guy in the Basement hold up his cell phone to my puppy's ear so I could tell him that I'm never going to dump him.

    He licked the phone.

  5. They have eleven posts on their site coming all over themselves about getting a puppy, how cute little puppy, puppies, puppy...

    The puppy grew up. Unlike the owners.
    Seven comments on there, all praising them for this cruelty. Sickening.

  6. Why? We know one reason is because Jake can be a distraction to us. It takes time and effort to have a dog, time that really isn't producing fruit that's worth it.

    Y'know, I'm pretty sure I could say the same thing about blogging...

  7. It may be of interest to some of us to hear about an experience my wife (a lifelong Lutheran, even though I am an atheist) had in Sunday school when she was about seven years old. She asked her Pastor (with whom I have confirmed these events) whether dogs can go to Heaven. His answer was, "Since anumals do not have a soul, they cannot be in Heaven". She said, "You told us that Jesus wants us to be happy when we get to Heaven. If I can't have my dogs there, I can't be happy, so I don't want to go!!" Her pastor, who has continuted to be a close family friend has been able to tell me that this event really forced him to reconsider doctrinal teaching and has somewhat modified what he now believes about what God requires of us when we are told "Treat even the least of these......". (Out of the mouths of babes...) Although I am not surprised by the letter you have shown us, I am forced to the conclusion that no "real" Christian would choose to abuse a family pet on the grounds that God wants them to do so.

  8. Dogs don't go to heaven was a huge sticking point for me. If there aren't any animals in heaven, then by definition, it isn't heaven, at least not for me, so why would I want to spend my life obeying your inane rules to get there?

  9. no "real" Christian would choose to abuse a family pet

    James Dobson

  10. As someone who recently lost a beloved dog to a departing girlfriend and took on a new dog from a friend with chronic fatigue, I think I'm well-placed to tell these folks that they're a pair of selfish fucktards.

    It really is amazing what these people will justify, isn't it?

    I feel dirty all over from hearing this story.

  11. I'm sorry, ExPatMatt. I'm glad your friend was able to give their dog to a good home.

  12. Usually I leave these kind of cunts alone, but I couldn't help it. I commented this on there blogs:

    I'm glad you're giving the dog up. Hopefully he will go to a home who cares for him more.

    Considering you believe that 'God' is telling you to do this, there really isn't anything I can say to convince you otherwise. I just hope that if you are taking him to the pound on this whim that he doesn't end up getting destroyed.

    I suspect its more to do with apathy or your lack of judgement when buying the dog, rather than the cosmic ruler of the universe whispering in your ears about your domestic lives.

  13. This story doesn't tell me anything about "their god." It just tells me these people are jerks. Do you personally know something of God that would give you the grounds to assume that this story is saying something about him?

    There are a lot of opinions about God and his teachings from both believers and non-believers. Acting on these beliefs does not make them correct. If you are following that logic, God must hate Americans because He told jihadists to kill them.

    Maybe you should start attacking mainstream Christianity instead of the crazy fringe. If you really are interested in destroying Christian belief, you might have more validity if you attack things that most Christians can agree on. Abandoning pets isn't one of them.

  14. And on sites where people go after mainstream christianity apologists insist that they aren't doing any harm, we should be focusing on the real crazies.

    Can't win for losing.


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