Saturday, August 15, 2009

The Government Can't Do Anything Right

socialism, health care, obama, whole, foods, mackey, conservative, liberal, funny
MB Shopper, at the Whole Foods message boards, wins an internet for the following description of everything the government can't do right:


Once again, for the benefit of the goernment-can't-get-anything-right flock:


This morning I was awoken by my alarm clock powered by electricity generated by the public power monopoly regulated by the US Department of Energy. I then took a shower in the clean water provided by the municipal water utility. After that, I turned on the TV to one of the FCC regulated channels to see what the national weather service of the National Oceanographic and Atmospheric Administration determined the weather was going to be like using satellites designed, built, and launched by the National Aeronautics and Space Administration. I watched this while eating my breakfast of US Department of Agriculture inspected food and taking the drugs which have been determined as safe by the Food and Drug Administration.

At the appropriate time as regulated by the US congress and kept accurate by the National Institute of Standards and tTechnology and the US Naval Observatory, I get into my National Highway Traffic Safety Administration approved automobile and set out to work on the roads build by the local, state, and federal departments of transportation, possibly stopping to purchase additional fuel of a quality level determined by the Environmental Protection Agency, using legal tender issed by the Federal Reserve Bank. On the way out the door I deposit any mail I have to be sent out via the US Postal Service and drop the kids off at the public school.

After spending another day not being maimed or killed at work thanks to the workplace regulations imposed by the Department of Labor and the Occupational Safety and Health Administration, enjoying another two meals which again do not kill me because of the USDA, I drive my NHTSA car back home on the DOT roads, to ny house which has not burned down in my absence because of the state and local building codes and fire marshal's inspection, and which has not been plundered of all it's valuables thanks to the local police department.

I then log on to the internet which was developed by the Defense Advanced Research Projects Administration and post on and fox news forums about how SOCIALISM in medicine is BAD because the government can't do anything right.


And apparently, the Global Positioning Satellite system is POS, right?

The only reason government doesn't work is because conservative Republican administrations defunded and/or patronage staffed them with people with ties to special business interests: to wit the last FDA, Dept of Interior and Agriculture under Bush. No one seems to have a problem with pumping over $500Bil to the Defense Department which last I hear is a socialized entity.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: if you don't like paying taxes, move to sunny Somalia. Your earnings will be entirely tax free.


  1. This guy doesn't win the Internetz – he wins the whole fucking Universe.

    Colbert couldn't have done better.

  2. Hmm, I'm not impressed. Most conservatives would gladly do without at least a couple of those agencies, depending on how free-market oriented they are. And many libertarians would do without pretty much all of them. Plus he's mixing federal & local government. Most conservative complaining about government are talking about the federal government, not municipal.

  3. "Most conservative complaining about government are talking about the federal government, not municipal."

    Actually, in my experience, most seldom bother to distinguish between the two, and a quite a few don't seem to know the difference.

  4. "Actually, in my experience, most seldom bother to distinguish between the two"

    It kind of goes without saying that rants against "big government" aren't usually directed at local town councils.

    " quite a few don't seem to know the difference."

    That's just silly. I think most people know the difference between federal, state, and local government.

  5. This post has been featured on Angie the Anti-Theist's Sunday School

    You're on fire this week - keep it up!

  6. appropros of nothing, i know *LOTS* of people who think that all roads are maintained by the Federal Government, who bitch on a regular basis about roads that aren't fixed, or roads that are fixed too OFTEN.

    these tend to be A) streets that are not actually within a "corporation" (ohio doesn't have "cities, towns, villages", it has "corporations"), so they are ONLY maintained by a county, or worse, the state. City streets are as maintained as taxes allow. Federal roads (highways) are maintained as *those* taxes allow. and MOST people don't seem to realize that they are paid for out of different purses, and don't believe me when i try to explain it.

    most people don't realize that public school mostly function based on the taxes a school distric can raise - schools get Federal, State, and specific portion of the city money. period. i know several people throwing huge fits that the schools their kids attend aren't as "good" (in Columbus) as other schools (in Dublin or Gehanna) and REFUSE TO LISTEN to anyone who says that a lot of school money comes from city taxes. as far as they are concerned, FEDERAL DOLLARS are ALL that are spent on schools. gods only know where these people were in the last FIVE elections, each and every one of which had some attempt or another at raising money for CBus schools - property tax, car tax, "vice" tax, etc. and every single proposition was voted down - and these people who want better schools VOTED AGAINST ALL OF THE PROPOSITIONS. because schools are funded by Federal dollars, and so *they* shouldn't have to pay more. because they refuse to acknowledge that schools are NOT only funded by Federal dollars. *rage*

    so, yeah - most people (who don't care or pay attention) aren't going to be able to seperate out the services. and that is complicated by the fact that MOST things (police, schools, roads, etc) are run by money from local AND federal money.

  7. Well, I'm glad to hear of the Americans who do have a brain and use it.

    After watching the senseless TV ads that defame the Canadian Health Care system, and then hearing nut heads like Glen Beck endorse such ads, I'd started to believe that Americans in general had had a lobotomy. Geezz. The kind of crap that's being said and BELIEVED out there is beyond ridiculous.


Comments are for you guys, not for me. Say what you will. Don't feel compelled to stay on topic, I enjoy it when comments enter Tangentville or veer off into Non Sequitur Town. Just keep it polite, okay?

I am attempting to use blogger's new comment spam feature. If you don't immediately see your comment, it is being held in spam, I will get it out next time I check the filter. Unless you are Dennis Markuze, in which case you're never seeing your comment.

Creative Commons License
Forever in Hell by Personal Failure is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at