Wednesday, August 12, 2009

I Have a Vagina- There Is Some Maintenance Involved

vagina, schick, bush, catholic, outrage

In case anyone missed it, I have a vagina. And labia. And a clitoris. And pubic hair. But not an appendix.

I prefer to keep my pubic hair trimmed down, though not entirely shaved. I like the way it looks, I like the way it feels, and since it's my body, I can do what I want with it. What anyone else chooses to do with their pubic hair (male of female) is entirely up to them. I can understand not wanting to discuss your own, or other people's, pubic hair, but we all have pubic hair. There's nothing dirty or vulgar about pubic hair, any more than there is something dirty or vulgar about toenails or eyelashes.

Unless you're Patrick Archbold and a group of Catholic commentors, in which case a harmless Schick ad (above) is the END OF THE WORLD. If you can't view the ad, women walk by topiaries, and as they walk by, the topiaries go from overgrown to neatly trimmed in a variety of shapes. It's not the slightest bit vulgar, and I can't believe a child would have a clue what that was about. I really can't imagine a less offensive way to promote a product designed to be used to trim pubic hair. (A product I now want, because I gotta tell you, sharp scissors have their risks.)

The UK ad is a little more suggestive, though I wouldn't consider it vulgar, and no resident of the UK would, either. (They're a little more . . . open across the Atlantic.)

Patrick, however, is left boggled.

The US version of the ad, while slightly less explicit is in the same vain. I saw this ad during prime time on a cable channel. It boggles the mind how any network would accept an ad like this during prime time, or any time for that matter. This one is called "Bushes."

Women are obviously the target audience for these vulgar and disgusting ads. I highly recommend that if you are currently a Schick customer that you immediately cease purchasing their products and that you let them know why. Ads like this have no place on television. If you see one of these ads, I also suggest that you contact the network responsible and complain.

Women, and their dirty, nasty vaginas, are the target audience! Their dirty, disgusting, filthy vaginas that should never be seen or thought of. Ever!

Oh, and in the same vein.

Patty-kins channels me in the first comment: Ewwwww. Just the suggestion of those icky women's naughty parts! Yucky! Now I'll never be able to pretend my wife is the highschool quarterback tonight.

NC Sue overuses the sarcastiquotes: Our "culture" isn't very cultural at all, but crude. Yes, the ads are offensive, and yes, I will steer clear of Schick. For one thing, if it's a quality product, it can be sold without resorting to ads like this. For another, I'm simply tired of vulgarity. And finally, as you say, ads like this have absolutely NO place on prime time. Nor does nasty language or thinly veiled sex on our sitcome.

Susan doesn't use that razor. That particular razor.: This just reaffirms my decision to not have TV service. And I'm glad I don't use that razor.

Scott W apparently knows the location of the mouth of Hell: Solution to television crassness:

1. Unplug TV.

2. Load TV into suitable vehicular conveyance. a fucking car, dude?

3. Drive to mouth of Hell.

4. Drop TV in it.

5. Never look back.

Maurisa may be suffering from swine flu (because there's nothing nauseating about topiary): Ewww! I actually may not have caught onto the American version of the ad until seeing the British one. Makes my stomach churn.

Arthur may have missed the point (especially considering where cute little babies come from): We're not allowed to get pro-life ads showing cute little babies on television but they can put ads on about trimming their nether regions into heart shapes? not to belabor the point, but how on earth could i trim my labia into a heart shape? you trim the hair, dude, not the region.

I understand that some people will be offended by anything, but I would like to point out that all women have vaginas, labias and pubic hair. There is nothing offensive, vulgar or disgusting about women's (or men's) bodies, nor in the upkeep of said bodies. Morons.


  1. A lot of feminists are freaking out about this ad too. Frankly, I could care less, and don't see what the fuss is about. I hate trimming with scissors and am thrilled that someone came up with this idea.

  2. I am still in awe of the fact that someone can call this ad the "most offensive ad ever!" as Patrick has.

    I wonder what is more offensive to him- that the ad mentions pubic hair or that the ad depicts women doing what they want to their own pubic hair?

  3. I am still in awe of the fact that someone can call this ad the "most offensive ad ever!" as Patrick has.

    You know what ads offended me? Those Freedom's Watch ones where they trucked out soldiers who had gotten their legs blown off in Iraq or the mothers of soldiers who had died. Then they spent thirty seconds saying, "Please keep supporting this war so that my sacrifice has meaning."

    Yeah. Let's add meaning to death and dismemberment by sending more people to die and lose their body parts. Let's completely ignore the meaning of what happened to the Iraqis who get got killed at a 10-1 or 100-1 ratio to Americans and are commemorated as a statistic next to the full-color, front page report on the one American serviceperson who died that same day.

    He wants to talk "most offensive?" Let's start there, then see how long it takes to get to shaving cream. Or razors. Or whatever it is. I've already forgotten.

  4. I was offended by the blatant racism in the British ad, and the lingering notion that you can't be a beautiful woman unless you keep everything trim (preferably by purchasing a Schick Quattro), but the notion that these commercials are vulgar because they imply that women have BAJINGOS is just laughable. HOLY JUMP-UP JESUS ON A POGO STICK! Women have WOMEN BITS!

    I fail to understand how these people can take offense at these ads without loudly and publicly decrying women appearing in public. I mean, seriously, people. We men are completely incapable of restraining ourselves when we see any ounce of flesh.

    Not that women on TV actually matters to men, though, because we're all actually homosexual, so legalizing same-sex marriage will cause us to immediately abandon the women we've managed to capture and marry for a slutty dirty grope-and-suck in the nearest truck stop bathroom. I cannot stress enough the importance of keeping same-sex marriage illegal.

    So, women's bodies must never be shown, implied, or discussed. Because we're just rape-fiends. Horribly confused gay-sex lusting woman-raping fiends.

    And we ride unicorns and eat lunch with Elvis.

  5. It's only gross if you don't clean out the bathtub area after shaving - nothing worse than pubes on soap!

  6. These folks are so scared of pubic trimming that... well... I'm glad I'm not married to any of them. Heh.

  7. Those ads are pretty amusing. That guy is just looking for something to be offended by. He must be horrified by tampon ads.

  8. VAGINAS!!!!!11!!111!!!111!!!!!111111!

    IT ARE TEH END OF TEH WURLD!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!!

  9. I tried to be offended and couldn't even do it. WTF. I don't get people.

  10. When you wrote; ' There's nothing dirty or vulgar about pubic hair, '

    I just had to laugh!

    There's kind of a lesser known tv show called ' kenny vs spenny ' . At the end of the show, the " loser " has to undergo a humiliation, which are always terribley obscene.

    In any event, on one episode, the humiliation, was that Spenny had to eat a cracker with pubic hair on it!

    OMG it was sooooooo funny, Spenny nearly died.

    In that particular circumstance, pubic hair was most certainly vile and disgusting! lol.

  11. okay, eating pubic hair is disgusting, but i never considered anyone would actually do that.


  12. "Bushes".

    As in "Trimming the Bush" -- ARGH.

    Not so much offensive as just a groaner...

    (P.S. I'm Catholic.)

  13. exactly. it's obvious, but hardly offensive.

  14. They always complain about sex - never violence. What's worse, love or hate?

  15. Yes, when harmless metaphors become offensive, you know you are taking yourself far too seriously.

    And WHY would you use scissors?!? They've had not-so-skinny razors (and waxes, and Nair, oh my!) for years. It's not like this product is tha-at different. It just actually said, "Not just for legs and pits anymore!" through the little suggestive topiaries.

  16. again days late, but i have to say...

    years and years and years ago, i bought a "man's beard trimmer". it was like $8.

    there were also on sale "bikini trimmers" that were $25+. why would i spend that much for something EXACTLY THE SAME as the cheaper product, just labeled differently and pink? (answer: i would pay more for it to NOT be pink. just sayin')

    so... if anyone is in the market for one of these razors, check out the prices on beard trimmers first. that's all. because they are almost always *way* less (and work longer. and are better working. and etc)


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