Monday, October 11, 2010

And the Lord Said Unto the Juggalo

This inspired a worldwide subculture.

ICP (Insane Clown Posse*), a pair of, well, clowns, famous for violent lyrics and violent, hardcore fans, are . . . wait for it . . . evangelical Christians, and have been all along.

First, I would like to say MWHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Secondly, Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope (I am not making any of this up, I swear!) are, well, violent and dope. And wearing clown makeup. And working for the Lord, with such unforgettable classics as

I'm hating sluts

Shoot them in the face, step back and itch my nuts

Unless I'm in the sack

Cos I fuck so hard it'll break their back.


Barrels in your mouth

bullets to your head

The back of your neck's all over the shed

Boomshacka boom chop chop bang.

Allow me to repeat myself: MWHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Apparently, the above back breaking fucking and boom chop chop bang was supposed to turn people to the Christian God.

Fuck it, we got to tell.

All secrets will now be told

No more hidden messages

…Truth is we follow GOD!!!

We've always been behind him

The carnival is GOD

And may all juggalos find him

We're not sorry if we tricked you.

I really cannot stop saying MWHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

*Do not ask me to explain the wild, enduring popularity of a pair of idiots painted up as clowns. I cannot explain it.

Photograph: Jim Newberry


  1. Knowing the hate-filled control fantasies that Raptards have about what all of us non-believers will be doing when Kill'em All Jesus(TM) comes back, I can't say I'm surprised by this. In fact, it makes perfect sense.

  2. comhradh: well, yes, actually.

    MM: um . . . sort of? i mean, i hesitate to use the same word one would use to describe the beatles, but technically, kinda sorta, yes?

  3. @MM - They are a band as much as Fireproof is a movie.

  4. Okay, I think I see. It's just... I've heard a couple of references to this interview of theirs, and prior to that they were a total blank spot on my radar. Presumably, though, they actually do have some sort of fan base, so this announcement would actually matter to someone. Just, y'know, not me.

  5. They were a black-spot on my radar too until PZ mentioned them. One of their recent songs, "miracles," included lyrics in which they derided science and asked (not kidding):

    "Fuckin' magnets, how do they work?
    And I don't wanna talk to a scientist
    Y'all motherfuckers lying and
    getting me pissed."

    Yeah, you guys are deep. Not.

    But I'm far, far more offended by this (from the article):

    "You had to gain everybody's attention," says Violent J. "You had to gain the entire world's trust and attention."

    "So all those unpleasant characters in the songs," I ask, "like the narrator in I Stuck Her With My Wang, they're examples of people you shouldn't be?"

    "Huh?" Violent J says.

    "Well, it's very unpleasant," I say. "'I stuck her with my wang. She hit me in the balls. I grabbed her by her neck. And I bounced her off the walls. She said it was an accident and then apologised. But I still took my elbow and blackened both her eyes.' That's clearly a song about domestic violence. So your Christian message is... don't be like that man?"

    "Huh?" Violent J repeats, mystified.

    There's a silence.

    "I Stuck Her With My Wang is funny," Violent J says. "Jokes. Jokes, man. Jokes. Jokes. Jokes. It's just a ridiculous scenario. Silly stories, man. Silly stories. What's she doing kicking him in the balls? We find it funny.

    Urge to kill... rising...

  6. Haven't they referred to it as "the dark carnival"? I think that they are lying when they say they've been christian all along. You don't rap about murder and mayhem for twenty years just to get people's attention.


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