Sunday, October 10, 2010

The Fundy Rule Book

Seriously, this makes sense to someone.

The Fundy Rule Book exists and is pretty much what I expected it to be. My personal favorites:

1. I am right and you are wrong. Always.

3. The less certain something is, the more certain you must appear to be about it.

6. The less fun it is the godlier it must be.

7. Women’s primary purpose is to serve as a temptation to men. They are also somewhat useful for housework.

11. Old Testament rules about sex, tattoos, women in pants, and the death penalty still apply. Old Testament rules about lobster don’t. (That is why we call this the Age of Grace)


16. It’s much better to have an innocent person die than to tell a lie to a Nazi.

22. Gays are responsible for pretty much every bad thing that happens in America. Africans are responsible for the rest.

32. There are not two sides to every story. There is only the truth and the lies made up by those liberal compromisers who Satan is using to attack our ministry.


42. The truth shall not be allowed to get in the way of any good sermon illustration.


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