Tuesday, October 19, 2010

If You See My Brain, Let Me Know

As I read this discussion amongst raptards, my brain slipped out through my ear and ran away screaming. I can't say I blame it. (If you'd like to make your own brain run away screaming, consider that the following people vote.)

If you were the next elected President of the United States, what would you do fix the current problems facing Americans, and America, today?

At what point can America and Americans be separated?

I would get rid of the IRS. I would either do away with income tax entirely, OR, have a small amount that is paid by people with incomes greater than $50,000.00, something along the lines of 5%. No income tax forms to fill out at the end of the year. A value tax on most items, but not groceries, prescriptions, or medical services.

So . . . who's collecting that "small tax" and how will they differ from the IRS? How will you run the country without taxes? Hopes and dreams?

Remove as much government bureaucracy as possible. I'd love to hear examples from others on this one.

As I have none of my own. I'm not even sure what government bureaucracy is, just that Glenn Beck says it's bad.

Make it as easy as possible for people to start businesses, and stay in business.

Um, okay. Got something other than platitudes?

I'd get Dave Ramsey's message across to all Americans.....get out of debt, and stay out.


What would you do to help our country get back on track, and make it better than ever?

First response:

The current income tax may still be workable, but we need to eliminate all the deductions (loopholes) and set the rates accordingly. Maybe the flat tax with variable rates would be better. I'm sure we could run all the data through a computer to get an unbiased opinion.

A variable flat tax, huh? Also, computers- how do they work?

Declare a one year income tax holiday for all small business owners making less than $$$ (to be determined). Perhaps a 50% off deal the second year, if necessary. That won't directly help the average Joe already working, but it sure could go a long way to putting 15 million people back to work.

And you will be replacing those tax dollars with what? Love? Maybe we can ask the computer, it has an unbiased opinion.

We also need to make it mandatory for every parent to actively participate in the educational process of their children from K thru 12. I would make Bill Cosby the Education Czar with broad, sweeping powers. I'm tired of hearing mothers shouting, "They shot my Johnny. We have to stop this." We can. Get involved with your kids and know what they are doing. Teach them pride in being productive citizens and they'll want to get an education.

I think that may be racist, but how? How will you make people involved and how are you defining "involved"? How will you enforce that? More bureaucracy?

Next up:

I'd start with a zero based budget. In other words, there is no "you got $x last year, so this year you'll get that plus a little extra." There would be a lot of "is this program really necessary?" My guess is 99 times out of a 100 the answer would be no.

Bet that hundredth time is the military, right? Does anyone at Rapture Ready have any clue what the government does for them every day? No, of course they don't. They want to build their own roads and direct their own air traffic and eat tainted meat. It's what Jesus would want!

But wait, there's more!

The first thing I would do is declare a mandatory (temporary) evacuation of all muslims in the workplace.
I'd send an ARMY to keep the border safe and then, I would have a little "Come to Jesus" meeting with America and try to steer them back to Jesus.

So you think Hitler was right, just a little off on the details. These people vote. They vote!

Reminding me that Hitler didn't work alone:

This short list in no way covers everything I would do, though the few things I mention would have to be executed gradually.

1. Flat tax across the board.

2. Slash government down to 1/4 it's current size. Shrink IRS down to a very small size and eliminate the EPA except for the regulatory part that works to keep our land clean. These reductions would be well-calculated and targeted throughout the different governmental roles. Government reduction is the most important part of everything because this is where the greatest offset will occur.

3. Eliminate death tax, capital gains, FICA, and eventually Soc Security with its taxes.

4. Businesses no longer required to provide healthcare - that should be an independent purchase by the consumer.

5. Balanced budget amendment.

I can sum that up as: I hate the poor and want them all to die.

He's not the only one.

No more progressive income tax. Everyone across the board would pay 13% flat tax no matter what your income is. Businesses and corporations would be tax exempt because this will open up more revenue, and would make the US the largest tax haven in the world.

Poor people, I hate them. A lot. It's weird, I swear Jesus had something to say about the poor. Apparently, it was, "Starve them to death and dance on their wasted corpses."

Someone doesn't understand where money comes from.

Find a way to bring healthcare other than the emergency room to all Americans. Especially the working poor who cannot afford even a doctors office visit or insurance.

Fucking government spending! How does it work?

Limit law enforcements power to stick their nose in everybodys business and limit their power to actual crimes which actually hurt other people.

Fucking law enforcement! How does it work?

Sticking with the ICP theme, we have:

Amend the Constitution: It is illegal for any congress/president to sacrifice national sovreignty.
Administrations may establish protocols for international dealings, but such protocols must be readopted by each succeeding administration or they become null and void.

Fucking international relations! How do they work? Seriously, if the entire world knows that every treaty with the US has an expiration date of, at most, 4 years in the future, are they likely to want to deal with us?

Cut spending, bureracracy, waste. Call in the Marines if its too difficult.

Somebody's been watching too much Rambo.

Move the UN off of US soil and advise islam to take their argument up with God. As for US, we know which side of the Bread is buttered. Israel has put up with enough. Islam does not want peace, open your eyes and look.

Yes, that will solve everything!

These are serious ideas from people who vote. Be afraid, be very afraid.


  1. All their posts could be summed up with:

    Fucking government, how does it work?

  2. Although this made me laugh:

    eliminate the EPA except for the regulatory part that works to keep our land clean.

    What the fuck do you think they do?

  3. I was going to ask if that wasn't the EPA's entire mission statement, but BeamStalk beat me to it.


    "It is illegal for any congress/president to sacrifice national sovreignty."

    a) sovereignty

    b) This sounds suspiciously like it would seriously curtail states' rights. Not exactly Republican-friendly. States' rights and Federal rights and Hamilton vs. Madison and all that jazz.

  4. What the fuck do you think they do?

    I believe it's all about subverting open market capitalism for the encroaching Communist state through the Global Warming Conspiracy.

    Also, it terrifies me that I started by making that up, but was able to immediately connect the dots. It sounds so...plausible...

    Y'know, from the thousand-foot perspective of Crazytown.

  5. Quick, we need a beer and a satirical Youtube video for Geds before he goes over to the dark side!

  6. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkd5dJIVjgM

    Grover parodying the Old Spice guy?

  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

  8. Quick, we need a beer and a satirical Youtube video for Geds before he goes over to the dark side!

    Meh. No dark side. Apparently when I'm back at work for the first time in a week and a half and only half awake my old "thinking like a fundamentalist whackjob" lizard brain starts up again. It led to a fascinating insight in to something this morning, so don't worry.

    It'll be a new post on my blog soon. Not that anyone over here will notice...

    Grover parodying the Old Spice guy?

    That one is good.

    "I'm on a horse!"


  9. You've obviously spotted the Insane Clown DNA in these people's family tree, but it seems to me there's a healthy dose of Underpants Gnomes, also.

    Phase 1: Destroy Government
    Phase 2: ???
    Phase 3: Profit!

  10. BUT THEY HAVE TO PAY TAXES and all they get for it is roads, hospitals, fire departments, police departments, safe food, safe drugs, courts, jails, a military, schools, research, environmental protection, health programs, consumer protection, a postal service, grants and loans to go to college, protection of civil rights- (shall I go on?)

  11. Most folk don't understand that Social Security and Medicaid/Medicare take up a large proportion of the budget. To realistically cut spending means cutting those programs (along with the military,of course). Few politicians want to tell voters that they are going to have to pay more in taxes to get less benefits, but that is the reality of the situation.

  12. To realistically cut spending means cutting those programs (along with the military,of course).

    Which, I'm reasonably certain, is why an actual national health care policy is the way to go.

    I fail to understand why the government taking $100* out of my paycheck for health care is TEH EVUL, but Blue Cross/Blue Shield taking $100 out of my paycheck isn't. Also, I'm reasonably certain that if a national health care program gets America's per capita medical spending in line with the rest of the civilized world, then the $100 I give to Blue Cross/Blue Shield would actually result in something less than the $100.

    I mean, if you just think of your current health insurance costs as another form of payroll tax, it completely changes your perspective on such things.

    *Not the actual number. Just tossing it out there.

  13. I think I may have to install a better anti-head-asplode helmet if I'm going to keep reading here...

    All these suggestions of shrinking the goverment... what a great idea! Let's slash and burn thousands of government jobs during a massive unemployment crisis! That'll fix all our problems.

  14. Republicans insist that government is the problem. And they prove it every time they get elected!


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