Thursday, October 28, 2010

Fun with Tracts (not tracks, that's a whole 'nother blog)

Let's have some fun with tracts, shall we?

The earth, the earth, the earth is on fire.

Basically, this tract is the really small print version of, "Did you see that movie? It had planes and floods and stuff and that guy who held a boombox over his head? See, I'm all hip and stuff and I believe in Jesus! Doesn't that make you want to believe in Jesus?
No. And that movie was hilariously bad, though I am very fond of John Cusack, and his sister, Joan. (She was not in that movie.)

"Hi. I'm death and I think I'm lost. I'm supposed to be on an album cover from 1986. Hey, is that guacamole?"

Death! It's scary, but very polite. And scary. Really scary. Believe in Jesus!
You wouldn't believe the options Adobe Photoshop contains! Look at this perspective thingy!

Sentence fragment. Unrelated thought. Something unrelated to evolution. Something explained by evolution. Look, I found a dictionary! The Bible! Believe in Jesus!
Other than providing people like me with amusement, what do you suppose the purpose of tracts are? I can't believe anyone is swayed by small print tripe like this.


  1. Tracts are, as far as I can tell, a lot like signing online petitions: they give believers a way to feel like they're doing something useful and important without requiring them to make any real effort.

  2. Hey, can anybody tell me what the ultimate statistic is? I'd always thought it was Ted Williams .406 BA season, but I feel like I'm wrong about that for some reason now.

  3. Geds it is obviously: 10 out of people 10 die.

  4. The thing about the stat of 10 out of 10 people die, is the people that make that, don't believe it. In the Bible 2 (Enoch and Elijah) people never die. Most of these people believe in the rapture and thus think they won't die either.

  5. how about;

    "Life is an STD"?

    ok, it's not, strictly speaking, a statistic...

    but then, i thought the ultimate statistic was "8 out of 10 statistics are pulled out of the quoter's ass"

    na da?


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