Saturday, May 30, 2009

Proofs of God's Existence

god, logic, proof, atheism, atheist,
Some of you have probably seen this before, but Hundreds of Proofs of God's Existence is hilariously illogical, and they should all sound familiar if you've been at this for a while. A few selected proofs:

ARGUMENT FROM MIRACLES (I)
(1) My aunt had cancer.
(2) The doctors gave her all these horrible treatments.
(3) My aunt prayed to God and now she doesn't have cancer.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM CREATION, a.k.a. ARGUMENT FROM PERSONAL INCREDULITY (I)
(1) If evolution is false, then creationism is true, and therefore God exists.
(2) Evolution can't be true, since I lack the mental capacity to understand it; moreover, to accept its truth would cause me to be uncomfortable.
(3) Therefore, God exists

ARGUMENT FROM FEAR
(1) If there is no God then we're all going to not exist after we die.
(2) I'm afraid of that.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM THE BIBLE
(1) [arbitrary passage from OT]
(2) [arbitrary passage from NT]
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM ABSURDITY
(1) Maranathra!
(2) Therefore, God exists.

BOATWRIGHT'S ARGUMENT
(1) Ha ha ha.
(2) Therefore, God exists

ARGUMENT FROM AMERICAN EVANGELISM (the Ray Comfort argument)
(1) Telling people that God exists makes me filthy rich.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM META-SMUGNESS
(1) Fuck you.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM INCOHERENT BABBLE
(1) See that person spazzing on the church floor babbling incoherently?
(2) That's how God's infinite wisdom reveals itself.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

CALVIN'S ARGUMENT, a.k.a. TERTULLIAN'S ARGUMENT
(1) If God exists, then he will let me watch you be tortured forever.
(2) I rather like that idea.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

and Ray Comfort's personal favorite:

ARGUMENT FROM INFINITE REGRESS, a.k.a. FIRST CAUSE ARGUMENT (II)
(1) Ask atheists what caused the Big Bang.
(2) Regardless of their answer, ask how they know this.
(3) Continue process until the atheist admits he doesn't know the answer to one of your questions.
(4) You win!
(5) Therefore, God exists.

5 comments:

  1. I have a fetish for arguing with creduloids about the existence God. So far, every time I encounter a new argument, I quickly realize how idiotic it is. In addition, these arguments make me think that anyone who accepts them must be cognitively impaired in some way.

    Or maybe it's me that can't think straight.

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  2. That's funny. Hey? Do you have a post somewhere explaining how you came to choose the name PersonalFailure? If not, would you be willing to tell me? No danger. I'm just curious.

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  3. That "argument from fear" is the whole basis of the concept of religion, in my opinion. Everything else is just psychological defense mechanisms.

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  4. Yeah, I love that site. Wonder if any new ones have been added in the past few months. Anyway, UnBeguiled, I am sure that you are not alone in finding most available arguments for the existence of God to be faulty in some way, whether it is an obvious misstep in logic or something harder to put your finger. And, I too find myself obsessed with any arguments that can be mustered for God due to that very fact: I desire to see if I can find one that doesn't have something that doesn't have something obviously wrong with it. Probably because I also enjoy looking for the errors in all the rest of them as well!

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