Monday, May 11, 2009

You're Not Really Christian

homophobia, christianity, religion, jesus, bible, atheism, god, keller, barry lynn, irs
Part of the problem with any attempt at proving the inherent rightness of the bible is the fact that there are/have been hundreds of different Christian sects. If the bible were the true word of god, why don't all people who read it agree what the message is? Shouldn't it be obvious to anyone immediately upon reading it? hello, this is a supposedly omniscient, omnipotent god, people?

Instead, we end up with screeds like Calling Yourself a Christian Doesn't Make You a Christian! by Bill Keller, in which we learn that about 5 people are actually going to heaven. And none of them are the ones you'd actually want to spend eternity with.

Last Monday night, I spoke at the local chapter of Americans United for Separation of Church and State. why, why, why, why, why don't fundys get that separation of church and state is as good for them as it is for me? you represent a tiny fraction of all christians, Mr. Keller. you will not be in charge of the theocracy. This is the group whose national leader is Barry Lynn, a true tool of satan is an ordained minister with the United Church of Christ. That's right, kids, he's a christian. who is a former ACLU operative operative? employee might be the better word. he wasn't the james bond of the ACLU. that spends his life trying to stop those true men and women of God who share His Truth in the marketplace. a truth they share, or at least should, being christians and all. He has gone after many high-profile Christian leaders over the years, including me, using the IRS to try and remove the tax exemption from Godly ministries he disagrees with. godly ministries that violate the restriction against supporting or speaking against any one specific candidate, which Mr. Keller did do.

I have debated Lynn many times, so it was strange that the local group would ask me to speak, but I readily agreed. I arrived at the church where they were meeting, and walked into the foyer to find rainbow flags promoting gay pride. A gentleman greeted me and his first words upon seeing me were, "Is that a Bible?" I knew this was going to be an interesting evening when upon walking into a church, my first interaction with someone was asking me if the book I was carrying was a Bible!

Mr. Keller is the homophobe's homophobe. The vile filth he spews is, well, vile filth. Click if you really want to.

The fact was, the 30 people or so who attended were all middle age to older style point: middle aged and older. I have no doubt they were all respectable members of the community. except for being tools of satan. They seemed to be very decent, kind people. you know, except for the satan worshipping. They were a great representation of the vast majority of the people who make up our communities. Despite a belief in God or satan, calling themselves Christians how dare they!, they all believed there was nothing wrong with the sin of homosexuality, that a woman should be able to do whatever she wants "with her body," interesting use of sarcastiquotes. whose body is it, exactly? and that the Bible is NOT God's Word, but a book written by men. heresy! blasphemer!

I did not do this. He actually wrote the article this way.


In case you have been sleeping for several decades, there is a new group of people in our nation who call themselves the "religious left." i've never heard this term, but whatever. not every christian is a hateful fuck. This is a relatively new term so you may not be familiar with it. i may have made it up! That is why I felt it was so critical to take the time today to ensure you not only understood what it means, by writing in all caps and abusing exclamation points. but who actually makes up this new group of people. satan worshippers. Forty years ago, this group didn't even exist. really? liberal christians didn't exist 40 years ago? explain the civil rights movement, then, asshat. 40 years ago, a liberal christian was one that didn't think seperate was equal. They have actually evolved and grown tremendously over the past decade.

The "religious left" is made up of people who identify themselves as Christians but i know they're not! and hold strong religious beliefs as well as sharing left-wing ideals. socialcommufacists! and possibly muslims. Obviously, this group has risen up in opposition to those who have been tagged the "religious right" or the "Christian right." The "Christian right" is that group of Bible-believing Christians who are politically active and seek to elect to office those candidates who hold to Biblical values on the key spiritual issues of our day that are also political issues. in plain english, the religious right attempts to create a theocracy in place of our fine democracy.

. . .

I refuse to try and judge their heart, that is something only God can and will do. by sending them to hell! However, I have every right to judge them on their actions in accordance with God's Word. as i interpret it. How can you say you are a person of faith, yet vote to support the legalized slaughter of over 4,000 innocent babies every day? only if you define a clump of cells as a baby. How can you say you are a person of faith, yet vote to redefine God's Holy Institution of Marriage? that's some funny capitalization there. How can you say you are a person of faith, yet support special rights for people who have chosen to engage in perverted sex acts God calls an abomination, including their ability to adopt children into their deviant lifestyle? i think he means raise children in a loving home. Teh Ghey is not contagious, Mr. Keller.

I guess the real question becomes, what is their faith really in? It is inconsistent to say you are person of faith yet continually take a stand in complete opposition to God's Word. as i have interpreted it. and i'm right. and all those other people are wrong. Jesus said that if you love Me, you will obey Me. by "me", he meant Mr. Keller, apparently. That means His Word. as interpreted by Mr. Keller. Of course, those in the "religious left" has been born out of the liberal "churches" they're not really churches. they're socialcommufacist, possibly muslim, whorehouses! of our day who make a mockery of Christ as they operate in open rebellion to the Truth of the Bible while claiming to be followers of Christ. i might be a little too into the infighting.

. . .

This is the group that is Biblically illiterate since they don't even believe the Bible to be true. Mr. Keller means "literally true". as in, bats are birds, and insects have four legs and the world is about 6,000 years old. They are the politically-correct crowd who has bought the lie a woman has the right to kill her baby. again, i'm not accepting a zygote as a baby. They are the group who lambasts those who speak out against the sin of homosexuality, calling them names like "intolerant" and "hateful." why yes, we are intolerant of your intolerance. suck it. They call themselves Christians, but support the things Christ and the Bible condemn. like turning the other cheek and forgiveness? Pray for these people since you can't call yourself a follower of Christ, yet stand on the opposite side of Christ on so many issues. Truth is not what we want it to be you might have wanted irony goggles for that one., it is what God says it is. which can be interpreted a thousand different ways. a thousand thousand different ways. We don't have the luxury of giving our heart and life to Christ and then live any way we want. sure you do. once saved always saved. you can murder and rape and molest children, and god will forgive you while he leaves ghandi to burn in hell. A true follower of Christ is a follower of His Word. Jesus said, "Why do you call me, 'Lord, Lord,' and do not do what I say?"

If I can help you in any way you can contact me through my personal email at: please, give into temptation if you must.

***ARE YOU 100% CERTAIN WHERE YOU WILL SPEND ETERNITY? no, but the shouting is surely not convincing me of anything. The fact is you will die one day. no, really? At that moment, you will either spend eternity with the Lord or be cast into everlasting darkness forever separated from God your creator. or something. To know for certain you will be forever with Jesus, go to:

i think i just found my next post.


  1. Oh, yeah, the term religious left isn't new. It's also fairly stupid. But since we have the religious right and a bunch of people woke up one morning and noticed that not all religious people are Republicans, they had to coin a new term.

    Also, I strongly suspect that the, "Is that a Bible?" comment had nothing to do withe being unable to recognize the Bible. The guy may well have been asking, "Why are you bringing a Bible to a Monday night meeting of the Americans for Separation of Church and State?" or, "Doesn't he know we have pew Bibles here?"

    Of course, that was one of the weird conceits of the fundie churches I went to. You brought your own damn Bible in order to show that, um, you owned a Bible and liked carrying it around, I guess. They looked down on those churches that had pew Bibles as lazy, Sunday morning only Christians.


  2. See, I didn't even catch that. Catholic churches have little carriers for the books on the back of each pew, and they're not bibles anyway. They're collections of verses from the bible, three for each mass, planned out the whole year in advance. nobody brings a bible to a catholic mass.

  3. "What sort of person," said Salzella patiently, "sits down and writes a maniacal laugh? And all those exclamation marks, you notice? Five? A sure sign of someone who wears his underpants on his head. Opera can do that to a man."

    -- (Terry Pratchett, Maskerade)

  4. Oooer he has magic words at the end to complete the incantation to save your soul from eternal damnation. Nice.

  5. I hate to do this, and you're going to kill me for being a grammer nazi's grammer nazi, but nevertheless...

    The fact was, the 30 people or so who attended were all middle age to older style point: middle aged and older. sentence logic point: middle aged or olderAlso, Keller's a moron. One thing I've never heard a conservative christian answer: why are the clear and obvious laws about shellfish and cotton shirts "civic laws", when the vague verses that can be interpreted with a bit of work to be condemnations of abortion and gay people "moral laws?" And what gives you the authority to decide which is which?

    Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go eat a lobster whist wearing polyester.

  6. Beam, i thought of the exact same quote lol

  7. Sorry to be a spelling Nazi to a grammer (sic) Nazi's grammer (sic) Nazi but it's grammar.


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