This Is Not A Poe - Part IV

wingnut, republican, GOP, oklahoma, religion, homophobia, abstinence, insane,
(or: I Just Couldn't Stay Away)



The Oklahoma GOP Party Platform 2009 actually gets worse after the sections on religion and sodomy. (You know, for the longest time I couldn't for the life of me figure out what "sodomy" was, because any time I saw a definition of sodomy, my reaction was "isn't that just sex?" Which it is, of course.)



The OK! GOP just can't get away from praising evangelical christianity. (The GOP: You can take the tired, the poor, the Jews, the Hindus, the Muslims and the atheists. We don't want 'em!) This ridiculous "god's the bestest thing evah!" crap continues right through the section on education. Public education, mind you.



Preamble:



We acknowledge our dependence upon Almighty God again. and again. and again. and ask His blessings okay, we get it, you're really into god. upon our students and their parents, teachers, and nation. It is the right and responsibility of parents to direct their children’s upbringing and education whether public, private, charter, or home school, without interference, regulation no regulation on schooling. at all. think about that for a second. what they're saying is that if a parent or a religious school wants to teach children that the world is cube with a 96 hour day and that god wants us to enslave our black citizens, that's fine by the GOP. uh, yeah., or penalty from the government. The primary goal of public schools should be to teach proficiency in the basic subjects of phonics based reading, written and oral communication, mathematics, sciences, traditional history including our founding documents (none of that women's history or black history, good ole white manifest destiny history), the Godly heritage of our nation the witch burning or the slave owning?, and critical thinking skills BWAHAHAHAHAHA. Locally elected school boards should have the authority to determine and implement all public school curricula, I think this is an attempt to backdoor in intelligent design. policies, and procedures for their districts. We demand excellence and accountability from all tax-funded institutions of education in Oklahoma. The federal government has no constitutional role in education i guess bush disagreed; furthermore, we support the creation of a free market education system vouchers. We believe Oklahoma students are among the best and brightest and deserve a quality education isn't that sweet? not sure why it's part of the platform, but props to the Okies!



1. The traditional family unit, consisting of a (husband) man, (wife) woman and child(ren), first of all, this is like the fourth time this has come up in this document. we get it, you're not into the gays. secondly, i love that it isn't enough to define the desired relationship as "man and woman" because that might include sinful unmarried men and women, who are little better than gays. is the foundation of our social structure. The Oklahoma Department of Education and various Boards of Regents should uphold and teach this definition of traditional family, at all levels of public school and higher education. including college, apparently. asshats.



2. Funding of School-to-Work in any form should be eliminated. Individuals should have the right to choose their own education and career. We oppose any tracking system, which presumes to know what is best for the individual and economy or predetermine the occupationsof students. as best as I can tell, the GOP is against students that are not college material having actual marketable skills. school to work is a program that apprentices high school students in useful, well-paying fields like car repair, plumbing and carpentry. how dare schools prepare children for the rest of their lives with necessary, marketable skills. it's appalling.



4. Parents have a right to exempt their children from required school vaccinations for medical reasons, religious reasons, or other reasons of conscience. No child should be required to take a medication as a requirement for attending a public school. it's not like vaccines have any kind of purpose or anything.

5. Parents have a natural right to home school their children. We oppose any and all regulation of home schooling. we wouldn't want to make sure that children have certain knowledge prior to reaching adulthood, would we?

6. We affirm the right of students and teachers to the free exercise of religion as guaranteed by he First Amendment, including the right to wear and display religious symbols, voluntary vocal prayer, optional Bible and religious study, religious expression including holidays, and equal access to use of school facilities for these activities. i wonder if they'll feel the same way when muslim students start wearing their religious symbols and demanding the use of school facilities for q'ran studies?

7. The American flag should be displayed in the classroom. Students should start the day by reciting the Pledge of Allegiance, including “one nation under God,” and be taught the history of and respect for our American flag. why do these asshats conflate christianity with patriotism?

10. The Ten Commandments should be posted in all public schools as a means of moral guidance along with our national motto “In God We Trust” and the Bill of Rights. the first four of the ten commandments:


I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. You shall have no other gods before Me.
2
“You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; you shall not bow down to them nor serve them. For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me, but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My Commandments.
3
“You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain.
4
“Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord your God. In it you shall do no work: you, nor your son, nor your daughter, nor your male servant, nor your female servant, nor your cattle, nor your stranger who is within your gates. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and hallowed it.

first of all, how are any of those four "moral" guidelines? wtf does "remember the sabbath day" have to do with morals or with education? wtf does any of that have to do with learning your abc's? secondly, how are any of those four applicable in a public school, where nonchristian theists and atheists may be in attendance?

oh, right, they're not.

11. We oppose the deliberate misuse of standard English and the alteration of historical facts. a slam on "urban" speech and a refutation of what was stated earlier about the US being a "christian nation" founded on Judaic law. nice.

13. Public schools shall not prohibit the Judeo-Christian worldview upon which our country was founded. Public schools shall be prohibited from promoting other worldviews such as, but not limited to, secular Humanism, New Age philosophy, deep ecology, reincarnation, psychotherapy, channeling, transcendental meditation, altered states of consciousness or any occult practice.
wait, i thought we weren't altering historical facts. and, i love that anything other than the worldview of evangelical christianity (worldviews held by millions of US citizens) are strictly forbidden. Also, psychotherapy is a forbidden worldview? and what the fuck is "deep ecology"? What planet does the GOP live on?

17. We believe the public school system is for the benefit of U.S. citizens and for those who havethe legal right to be here. fucking illegals!

18. We oppose any government required community service as a condition of graduation. Obama wants high school students to help out their community! commusocialfacism! HITLEEEEEERRRRRR!!!!!!

next up, the GOP supports the use of the bible as a history text. a history text. a fucking history text.

1. Basic school curricula should include reading, composition, literature, mathematics, science, history, and government. Reading shall include phonics instruction, and composition shall include grammar and spelling instruction. We encourage the teaching of art, music, foreign languages, sports/physical fitness, and the option of using the Bible as a history or literature text.

a history text. i don't know whether to laugh or cry. a history text.

2. American heritage should be taught in public schools and include representative government,limited government, the lives and beliefs of the founders, the influence of the Bible andreligion on our laws and principles, and the concept of free enterprise. Students should studydirectly from the primary founding documents, which teach the distribution of power amongthe three branches of federal government and between federal and state government. students shall be taught GOP talking points to the exclusion of all else. where else will we get more republicans?

4. We believe that the scientific evidence supporting Intelligent Design and biblical creation should be included in the Oklahoma public school curricula, and where any evolution theory is taught, that both should receive equal funding, class time, and material. Teachers should havethe freedom to cover creation science without fear of intimidation or reprimand. the GOP: we're not exactly certain what science is, but we're against it!

7. Any mandated sex education shall hold to the following guidelines:

a. Neither homosexual nor extramarital sexual activity shall be presented as safe,nor shall they be presented as morally or socially acceptable behaviors.

b. HIV shall be presented as incurable and fatal.

c. Abstinence or lifetime fidelity shall be presented as the only safe sexual practice.

I'm fairly certain my brain just exploded. abstinence training does not work. i certainly do not want my tax dollars to support homophobia. HIV infection can be prevented- with condoms. you know what, maybe i do support their stance on homeschooling- because if this is what is going on in Oklahoma schools, i certainly wouldn't send my children there.

9. We oppose the portrayal of homosexual or promiscuous behavior in a positive light in public schools. the GOP: we do NOT have to represent our gay citizens, too.

1. We support meaningful reform in the structure of our higher education system, including:
a. Evaluation of all programs and elimination or reform of substandard programs.
b. Control of grade inflation.
c. Accountability of administrators to include performance evaluation.
d. Reform of the faculty tenure system.
e. Budgeting tied to comprehensive planning process with increases in funding directly related to specific goals and objectives listing expected improvements.

translation: we'll get those liberal college professors yet!

Honestly, after wading through the muck of wingnuttery that is this party platform, I can't even imagine why the GOP has the support that it does. It's frightening that 1 out of 5 USians thinks this insanity is the way to go.