Tuesday, April 6, 2010

I'm a Freak

To be fair, you probably already knew that, but now I have a new item to add to the list: I am visually stimulated by men. I know! Yesterday, I ended up in line behind a man who looked exactly like Naveen Andrews as Sayyid Jarrah from Lost. Same long, curly hair, same beard, same slammin' body. Dear Quantum Field, the ass on this man!

I thought my reaction to standing behind Sayyid was totally normal until I read the comments to this: (note: i didn't even bother to watch the video, the comments were enough)

That is just part of the problem: some of your sisters in Christ do NOT understand it; most women do not really understand or know that men are lust driven or sight aroused. Because many women (with some exceptions) are not; since women do not get aroused by men's bodies they dont understand or know what men experience.

Wow. I had no idea that I am either not a woman, or a total freak. Although, since I did not assault Sayyid, I suppose I am not a man, since apparently men are hard pressed to control themselves.

I don't know how many times I've been in church trying to focus on God and have been sorely distracted and tempted to lust by the slits, holes, and tightness in womens' clothing.

First off, close your eyes if you have that little self control. (Not that I've ever really felt a need to restrain myself from fantasizing.) Secondly, those slits serve a real purpose. Without the slit up the back or side, a pencil skirt would be impossible to walk or sit in. I know, I know, that falls under "tightness", which is bad.

This is really quite easy. Does what you wear glorify God? If you were married or engaged to be married you know exactly what you would not want your fellow sister in Christ to wear around your husband or fiance to cause him to stumble.

See, I expect the man I'm with to look at other woman. He's not blind, or dead, the only two circumstances in which people don't look at other people. Just don't gawk and don't touch. But I hold people responsible for their own behavior, instead of treating men like tiny children who can't resist temptation.

The solution to get women to dress modestly is to offer them a worthy substitute; young women fear having to dress like bag ladies, all frumpy.

Yes, the defining factor of homeless women is their nonstylish clothing.

Once someone complained about my shorts without speaking to me

They telepathically complained?

Curves and smooth skin on an attractive woman's body causes the average male brain to either increase blood-flow to the penis (which then triggers sensual feelings) or causes the brain to project a mental image of nakedness with erotic acts being played out in the mind (usually both!).

Okay, I'm turned on now. also, what am I supposed to do about my curves, my smooth skin or my attractiveness? I've got it- burqa!

Men should not be wearing tantalizing colognes to church and should watch how they dress also. I have seen some pretty "buttock-emphasizing" slacks on some men as well as women.

Score one point for the girls, but "tantalizing colognes"?

I need to ask, are men not also turned on by seeing a woman in a (to or below the knee) dress, especially if she has nice legs? So like, i am wondering is there anyway i can win? Some Christian groups say that women should only wear dresses, and i know some that will only allow their young daughters to wear dresses. But don't a woman's legs even below the thigh attract men? What precisely should a woman wear to church (i am really asking)? Even when i have worn an ankle length dress covering my whole torso i was treated by at least one pastor like a paria and another male (formerly homosexual!) told me he thought i was very attractive. So even when covering myself to the feet i cant win. (And no, i dont have cleavage busting out anywhere.) Should i wear a brown paper bag? Sadly, this subject is never covered in churches and no advice is given.

This poor woman! Really, the fundy emphasis on modesty without offering the burqa as a solution puts a huge amount of pressure on women who buy into this crap. Who'd have thought I'd one day consider the burqa the kinder option?

Don't worry, a man will mansplain what is sexy about our bodies and what is just perversion.

Though calves can be attractive to men, I think that it's generally not as much of an issue as the butt, breasts, crouch, and upper thighs are. Unless a guy has a fetish for lower legs, I personally think it's fine to show some lower leg.

But how am I supposed to know what men have lower leg fetishes?! Also, where is my "crouch"?

I'm a brother who knows women's clothes, I mean I have no problem going to a store and knowing what to get my wife. Finding modest clothes at good prices is NOT difficult, in fact there are many more company's that ar coming out with longr shirts/dresses etc.. You can look classy and stylish by shopp for deals @ places like Jcpennys/kohls/dillards/old navy etc.. their clearances and final clearances are a lot cheaper than 'discount' or outlet stores, you just have to be patient (When I say cheap i mean like a couple dollars for really nice stuff, something you could beat even if you did make your own clothes).

Yeah, you're a brother who knows a little too much about women's clothing.

Wow, this sermon has been an eye opener to me. I am young female living in England. Here it is worse..they were those thights and jeggins in church.

British English is so weird!

How true this is. I cannot count the number of times I am distracted at church. But i do not blame the woman. Its pretty sad when everyone on here is saying this is the first time they have heard anyone speak of this. It is true tho. How can the woman know unless they are told. (excluding those whoe dress skimpy on purpose). Men, we need to make the difference. We need to make it clear how our minds work. Its like trying to tell woman it is difficult for us to get off the counch and do the chores that are needed to be done. They cannot understand that it is LITERALLY HARD TO GET OFF THE COUCH. We have different designs.

Wtf? Speaking as someone whose joints lock up if they sit too long, thus making it actually difficult to stand, you are a lazy asshole.


  1. I'ma call Poe on that last one. Please let it be a Poe.

  2. Oh, no, he argued with some other guy for quite a while on the issue, complete with misspelled, ungrammatical quasiEnglish.

  3. My calves and shins are now crying over their apparent lack of hawtness.
    Them: "But WE wanna make those fundy men think dirtynastybad thoughts about us so their Johnsons get all excited in church, too!"
    Me: "Settle down, girls. You know I'll always love you, for your ability to walk and run and jump. Besides, the likes of you are MUCH too good for the weirdo fundy men."

  4. This is really quite easy. Does what you wear glorify God?

    Considering that the first sin lead directly to the wearing of clothes, I'd say that God was feeling pretty glorified when Adam and Eve were hopping around au naturale. But, of course, according to Genesis 3:8-9, the newly clothed Adam and Eve were able to hide from their omniscient creator behind a few trees.

    Also, were I not straight, Naveen Andrews and Henry Ian Cusick would likely have restraining orders against me.

  5. Fundy men really do exhibit the worst qualities in man, don't they? And yet they seem to think they're their finest attributes, Godly even.

  6. If Naveen Andrews knew the sort of things he's involved in in my head, he'd have a restraining order against my mind.

  7. Christian men can be so cute when they're tempted. I would be more sympathetic to their agonies, however, if they didn't afflict them upon women, and if they didn't vote.

  8. He he, crouch.

    To be fair, it's possible to conceive of a situation in which a man would be distracted by a woman crouching...

    Oh, no, he argued with some other guy for quite a while on the issue, complete with misspelled, ungrammatical quasiEnglish.

    Did he ever explain what the difference in design is, then? Because, when I think about it, I was actually a bit better at getting up off the couch than my last girlfriend. So does that mean that she was more of a man than me?

    Because, y'know, she had the boobs and the hips and whatnot, while I did not so much possess those things. So whatever it is that makes it harder for men to get up off the couch was probably there...

    Although, when I think about it, I find that the thing that makes it hardest to get up off the couch is my laptop. Is he implying that women shouldn't be allowed to use computers? Or his he just saying they should be restricted to desktops, possibly because he keeps bringing home women who disappear at dawn with his valuables?

  9. Although I am not quite sure what a "paria" is, I think this guy comes from (or currently inhabits) one of those polygamous, patriarchal communities out in Utah.

    For a (presumably self styled) straight man, he seems to spend a good bit of type talking about male sexuality and attractions.

  10. The freak in this is not YOU! My husband would never get any action from me in the bedroom if not for my ability to recall with great detail images of men I have either met, or fantasized about meeting (Naveen Andrews). I have also pointed out an exceptionally beautiful woman (or woman's parts) to my husband, as I know he appreciates it.

  11. Men should not be wearing tantalizing colognes to church...

    Funny. The only memorable experience I've ever had with men wearing cologne to church was catching the occasional whiff of the one or two jr. high boys who hadn't quite figured out that whole regular showering thing, and decided that drenching themselves in Old Spice was a viable alternative. "Tantalizing" is not really a word I'd use...

    This is really quite easy. Does what you wear glorify God?

    You know, I grew up hearing this kind of thing, and I know the answer they're expecting, but I've gotta say: since I started dressing in what I find flattering, rather than what satisfies the inscrutable whims of the Modesty Police, I've started hearing a lot more people praising God's creation, if ya know what I mean. ;)

  12. Nudity: God's original plan for His Creation. Hallelulia!

  13. Why does the naked human body *not* glorify God...


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