Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Year of the Bible

atheism, atheist, bible, congress, conservative, obama, 2010, stupid,
Apparently, the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression ended, and I missed it. I say this because Paul Broun of Georgia (for himself, Lynn Westmoreland, Randy Forbes, Mr. Pence, Phil Gingrey of Georgia, Trent Franks of Arizona, Jim Jordan of Ohio, Zach Wamp, Doug Lamborn, Louie Gohmert, Kenny Marchant, John Carter, Todd Akin, and James McGovern), Congressmen all, found the time to write a bill advancing 2010 as the Year of the Bible.

I'm thinking of having the First Amendment to the US Constitution forcibly tattooed on the forehead of every Republican.

CONCURRENT RESOLUTION

Encouraging the President to designate 2010 as ‘The National Year of the Bible’.

Whereas the Bible has had a profound impact in shaping America into a great Nation; if we're celebrating everything that had a "profound impact in shaping America", will they also propose a Year of English Common Law and a Year of Science? I rather think not.

Whereas deep religious beliefs stemming from the Old and New Testament of the Bible have inspired Americans from all walks of life, especially the early settlers, whose faith, spiritual courage, and moral strength enabled them to endure intense hardships in this new land; and that has what to do with anything? So has the Q'ran, the Bhagavad Gita, the Lord of the Rings and Star Trek. Are we proposing years for everything that has inspired Americans and given them moral strength?

Whereas many of our Presidents have recognized the importance of God and the Bible, so what? you could list every christian resident of the US in alphabetical order and we still are stuck with the fact that the US is NOT A CHRISTIAN NATION. including George Washington; Franklin D. Roosevelt; Harry Truman; John F. Kennedy; Ronald Reagan, who declared 1983 as ‘The National Year of the Bible’ so, we're against raising the tax rate, which was 50% under Reagan, but we should emulate his exclusivist christian policies?; and especially Abraham Lincoln, whose 200th Birthday Celebration in 2009 highlighted freedom for the slaves non sequitur much?;

Whereas shared Biblical beliefs unified the colonists and gave our early leaders the wisdom to write the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution of the United States ENGLISH. COMMON. LAW. actually, the only mention of god in the constitution is at the end, "year of our lord . . ." which is a stylistic thing that still occurs today on some legal documents., both of which recognized the inherent worth, dignity, and inalienable rights of each individual except blacks, women and native americans. but other than that, yeah, thus unifying a diverse people with the right to vote diverse white male landowners, you mean?, and the freedoms of speech and vast religious freedoms which really ought to clue you in as to why "year of the bible" is such a bad idea, which inspired courageous men like Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. to lead the Civil Rights Movement; okay, i get it, the bible is the source of every good thing that ever happened in the United States! nonchristians suck! we're just leeches on the body christian!

Whereas the Bible has been the world’s best selling book since it was first published in English in 1526, and has influenced more people than any other book; appeal to popularity.

Whereas the Bible has been a cornerstone in the development of Western civilization really? because i'm fairly certain western civilization was influenced by people like, say, the ancient Greeks, as well, and no one ever accused them of being christian, influencing the nations in the areas of history this is a little disturbing. isn't history supposed to be what actually happened?, law for the last fucking time: ENGLISH. COMMON. LAW., politics i'm not celebrating that, culture, music, literature, art, drama, and especially moral philosophy; because atheists aren't moral. i really don't care what the bible influenced, 1 out of every 4 US citizens doesn't find the bible any more relevant than any other book, so why should an entire year be devoted to it?

Whereas the Bible, used as a moral guide, has inspired compassion, love for our neighbor, and the preciousness of life and marriage, and has stimulated many benevolent, faith-based community initiatives and neighborhood partnerships that have healed and blessed our families, communities, and our entire Nation, especially in times of war, tragedy, and economic and social crisis; it also contains such rules as stone adulterers, stone homosexuals, keep slaves and rape women if you marry them later.

Whereas the Bible has inspired acts of patriotism that have unified Americans, commemorated through shared celebrations such as Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Day, Presidents Day, Memorial Day, Independence Day, Labor Day, Thanksgiving, and Christmas; and christmas is a patriotic holiday? since when?

Whereas 2010 is an appropriate year to designate as ‘The National Year of the Bible’: um why? why not 2011 or 2012? what exactly makes a year "appropriate" to be National Year o' the Bible? Now, therefore, be it

Resolved by the House of Representatives (the Senate concurring), That the President is encouraged--

(1) to designate an appropriate year as ‘The National Year of the Bible’ how about 2792?; and

(2) to issue a proclamation calling upon citizens of all faiths to rediscover and apply the priceless, timeless message of the Holy Scripture which has profoundly influenced and shaped the United States and its great democratic form of Government, as well as its rich spiritual heritage, and which has unified, healed, and strengthened its people for over 200 years. hey, you a Buddhist? get with the bible reading! you, over there, yeah, the Jew in the corner, start reading about Jesus! atheists- get with the believing!

Can you imagine the collective screaming if Obama declared 2010 the Year of the Q'ran or the Year of the Torah or the Year of the Book of Mormon? I say we lock up 2013 as the Year of No One Prays at All.

14 comments:

  1. Someone should counter this with 2011 being the year of the Koron, that would be genius.

    ReplyDelete
  2. "Whereas the Bible has been the world’s best selling book since it was first published in English in 1526, and has influenced more people than any other book;"

    I love this argument, because it's so easy to retort:

    "So, by that logic, we should declare 2010 the year of 'Quotations from Chairman Mao'?"

    Because The Little Red Book has sold close to 1 billion copies in only 43 years, whereas the Bible has sold 6 billion in 558 years. That's an average of 10.75 million/year for the Bible, and 20.93 million/year for Mao's words. Heck, with that kind of saturation, we should be declaring this year The Year of Quotations from Chairman Mao, and maybe next year we'll get around to the Bible.

    ReplyDelete
  3. And we'll declare the rest of 2009 the Year of Star Trek and be done with it.

    Honestly, their high holy days are federal holidays- that's not enough for them?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Is it just me, or has the word 'whereas' lost all meaning?

    ReplyDelete
  5. I think everyone's missing the larger point on this issue.

    They're hoping that this gets shot down. That way they can keep pushing the "Obama's a seekrit Mooslim terr'rist" and "Democrats hate 'Merica" memes.

    I'm pretty sure we're watching the Republicans implode. The only people who are taking them seriously are the wingnuts and everyone else is laughing at them or reacting in horror to their transparent push for a theocracy.

    This is not a long-term survival strategy.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I have to agree with Geds here, there is no way they actually expect this to pass. It's insane, and they know it. This is what happens when you pander to a base that lost their minds years ago.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I got more out of Dr. Seuss's "Oh The Places You'll Go". Jeebus. What will they think of next???

    ReplyDelete
  8. Obviously, the recession has hit Bible publishers really hard, and they're trying to make their way out of bankruptcy.

    On top of the recession, the said pitiful publishers have to fight the online availability of their holy book.

    I wish it were true.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Obviously, the recession has hit Bible publishers really hard, and they're trying to make their way out of bankruptcy.Actually, you might be on to something there, Lorena.

    Bibles actually have the lowest profit margin of pretty much anything in the publishing world. That rice paper is expensive and the machines that will press it without ripping and inks that won't bleed through cost significantly more than their more mundane equivalents.

    Christian publishers, meanwhile, have to have a Bible publishing arm. That's why the big ones have their own copyrighted versions (Tyndale has the NLT, Thomas Nelson the New KJV, etc.). In order to make money, though, they have to keep selling Bibles, mostly to the same pool of purchasers. That's why most people tend to end up with a dozen Bibles. They got their Bible, then they got their Womens' Special Time with God Study Bible with Annotations and their Xtreme Teen Hip-Hop Bible of Awesomeness: Tell Your Friends! and their Special Time Gift Bible (Suitable for Framing!).

    The interesting thing is, though, even though I had, like, seven and most of the people I knew had at least three, everybody tended to carry the exact same Bible everywhere they went. So the Bible publishers have actually managed to make a virtue of conspicuous and redundant consumption. Yay, capitalism!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I have four Bibles at home, and I'm not even freaking Christian. All different versions, all gifts. I think it's wonderful and strange that the same book is published in so many different ways.

    ReplyDelete
  11. i thought that Bibles were sort of passed down from parent to child?

    i am not just saying this because of the BoS inheritance. i mean, yes, we tend to pass Books of Shadows down, but copied versions - i copied my Aunt's, who copied her mother's, who copied her father's...
    no, really, isn't there like a big family bible that lists births and deaths and dates of marriages and stuff? a direct inherentence of the book?

    i guess if you have more than one kid you would need to buy all but one new bibles. which is why copying is better, except there is so much more of the bible, but copying sort of insures that you know it... and... i don't know where i am going here.

    except this whole "year of the bible" is A) totally against the First Amendment and B) makes me wonder which year it is (in 2010) are they replacing Rabbit with Bible? does that change the horoscope?

    ReplyDelete
  12. I will be okay with this if it can be concurrent with the Year of the Wiccan Rede.

    Oh, right. That wouldn't work. At all. Because the Wiccan Rede pretty much goes against the entire Bible. ("An it harm none, do what ye will" not so much in the Judeo-Christian-Muslim tradition...)

    ReplyDelete
  13. I feel so sad for my husband. He's a registered Republican, but adamantly believes in separation of church and state, freedom to marry, access to reproductive services, health care reform, and god knows what else.

    Poor guy must be having an identity crisis. Maybe he'll join me on the Unaffiliated Train.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Cynical Nymph:

    i am still waiting for Wicca to *really* be considered a religion by the government...

    ReplyDelete

Comments are for you guys, not for me. Say what you will. Don't feel compelled to stay on topic, I enjoy it when comments enter Tangentville or veer off into Non Sequitur Town. Just keep it polite, okay?

I am attempting to use blogger's new comment spam feature. If you don't immediately see your comment, it is being held in spam, I will get it out next time I check the filter. Unless you are Dennis Markuze, in which case you're never seeing your comment.

Creative Commons License
Forever in Hell by Personal Failure is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at foreverinhell.blogspot.com.