The Dialectizer

swedish chef, hacker, redneck, dialect, dialectizer, comfort, ray, awesome
This is the awesomest thing evah! (I know I've said that before, but this time, I really mean it.)

Ever wonder how something might sound in Redneck, Hacker or Swedish Chef? Wonder no more with the Dialtectizer! Just put in the the url to dialectize an entire site, or you can input text yourself.

Let's try it with Ray Comfort's latest post.

As Ray wrote it:

There are millions of variations in the fossil record. There are small dinosaurs and there are big dinosaurs. Some have big feet, big skulls, and big bones. There are small dogs and big dogs, big and small horses, and big and small cats. There are bones of birds that had large heads and large claws. There is no argument there. But that’s not evidence of Darwinian evolution, just as there is no evolutionary change between Gilbert and myself. We are simply differing forms of the same species. Evolution’s believers are still looking for species-to-species transitional forms in the fossil record. There is nothing in the bone record that is empirical evidence of one species transitioning into another species. There are the old bones of a bird that scientists theorize could have been a dinosaur, simply because it has large claws (Archaeopteryx). Some modern birds also have claws on their wings, and yet no one claims they are missing links. But they are just "theorizing." They are merely imagining. Like John Lennon. It’s easy if you try. Evolutionary "scientists" are good at imagining. They do it with fish, birds, lizards, and of course, humans. They even draw little pictures to make them look real, like the talented Disney imagineers. But it’s not reality. In reality, the missing links are still missing.

In Redneck:

Thar is millions of variashuns in th' fostil reco'd, cuss it all t' tarnation. Thar is small dinosaurs an' thar is trimenjus dinosaurs. Some haf trimenjus feet, trimenjus skulls, an' trimenjus bones. Thar is small houn'dogs an' trimenjus houn'dogs, trimenjus an' small houn'dogs, an' trimenjus an' small cats. Thar is bones of birds thet had large haids an' large claws. Thar is no argoomnt thar. But thet’s not evidence of Darwinian evolushun, jest as thar is no evolushunary change between Gilbert an' mahse'f. We is simply differin' fo'ms of th' same species. Evolushun’s believahs is still lookin' fo' species-to-species transishunal fo'ms in th' fostil reco'd, cuss it all t' tarnation. Thar is nothin' in th' bone reco'd thet is empirical evidence of one species transishunin' into t'other species. Thar is th' old bones of a bird thet scientists theo'ize c'd haf been a dinosaur, simply on account o' it has large claws (Archaeopperyx). Some modern birds also haf claws on their win's, an' yet no one claims they is missin' links. But they is jest "theo'izin'." They is merely imaginin'. Like John-Boy Lennon, as enny fool kin plainly see. It’s easy eff'n yo' try. Evolushunary "scientists" is fine at imaginin'. They does it wif fish, birds, lizards, an' of course, hoomins. They even draw li'l pitchers t'make them look real, like th' talented Disney imagineers. But it’s not reality. In reality, th' missin' links is still missin'

In Hacker:

tehre ar eiml;lions of variatio\s In teh foss1l record!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~~ THER EAR ESMALL DINOSAURS AND T3HRE ARE BIG D1NOSAURZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 some ahve ibg fert,, b1g skulls, and big bones!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111~~ therer smalld igz andb i gdogs, big and smlal hroses, and big ands mal7 catas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~ becuz I will ahck U theree qre bones o fbIrzd tyhat had large ehadz an dlarge claws theresi mo argumenT tehre~~~~~ but that’xz on tevidence of deqrwini4n evolUti0n, just as terhe is no evolutionary change between gilbart and mys3lf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~ WE AR SIMPLY DIFAFRING FORMS OF THE SAM ESAPECE1s/ EVOLUTIo\’S BELEIVARS R STILL LOOKIJNG FOR SPEC3IS-O-SPECEIS TRANS1TIONQL fORMZIN TEH FOPSSIL ERCORD~~~~ tHEREW SI NOTHING INTHE BONE R3CORD THAT SI EMPRIICAL EV1SDENEC OF ONE SOECEZI TRANITiONING NTO ANTEHR SPECEIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 there r t3h Old bones of a b1rd hat sCeint1sts tehroize could avhe beewn adinosauR, dsi,mp7y bdcauz it ahs lare cl4wS ((archaE0pT3ryx).. s0/\/\e omdern birds Also ahve claws on tHe1r wings, and yet n0 one claim sthey r missing linkz~~~ but th3y r kust "theorizing!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~ TYHEY ZR MMERELY IMAGNIING cause I will ahjck Y0UUUUUU LICK JOHn LENNOn 1t’z easy if you try/ LOLOLOLOLOOLOOLOLOLO~~~ EVOLUTIONARY "SCDENITISTS' AR GOOD TA IAMGInIING, u suck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11~ tehy do 1t \\\\////\\\\////ith fish, birdz, LIzatds, nad of course, humans i own j00!!!!!!!11~~~~ tehy evne draw liTtle picturez to make tehm look rea7, lick the talented disney imgaineerz but it’s nOt Realiyt!!!!!!!!!!!!~~ IN REALITY, THE MISS1NG LINKS ARE STILL MISSSING~~~~~

In Swedish Chef:

Zeere-a ere-a meelliuns ooff fereeeshuns in zee fusseel recurd. Bork bork bork! Zeere-a ere-a smell deenusoors und zeere-a ere-a beeg deenusoors. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Sume-a hefe-a beeg feet, beeg skoolls, und beeg bunes. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Zeere-a ere-a smell dugs und beeg dugs, beeg und smell hurses, und beeg und smell cets. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Zeere-a ere-a bunes ooff burds thet hed lerge-a heeds und lerge-a clevs. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Zeere-a is nu ergooment zeere-a. Boot thet’s nut ifeedence-a ooff Derveeniun ifulooshun, joost es zeere-a is nu ifulooshunery chunge-a betveee Geelbert und myselff. Ve-a ere-a seemply deeffffering furms ooff zee seme-a speceees. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Ifulooshun’s beleeefers ere-a steell luukeeng fur speceees-tu-speceees trunseeshunel furms in zee fusseel recurd. Bork bork bork! Zeere-a is nutheeng in zee bune-a recurd thet is impureecel ifeedence-a ooff oone-a speceees trunseeshuning intu unuzeer speceees. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Zeere-a ere-a zee oold bunes ooff a burd thet sceeentists zeeureeze-a cuoold hefe-a beee a deenusoor, seemply becoose-a it hes lerge-a clevs (Ercheeupteryx). Sume-a mudern burds elsu hefe-a clevs oon zeeur veengs, und yet nu oone-a cleeems zeey ere-a meessing leenks. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Boot zeey ere-a joost "zeeureezing." Zeey ere-a merely imegeening. Leeke-a Juhn Lennun. Bork bork bork! It’s iesy iff yuoo try. Bork bork bork! Ifulooshunery "sceeentists" ere-a guud et imegeening. Zeey du it veet feesh, burds, leezerds, und ooff cuoorse-a, hoomuns. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Zeey ifee drev leettle-a peectoores tu meke-a zeem luuk reel, leeke-a zee telented Deesney imegeeneers. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Boot it’s nut reeleety. Bork bork bork! In reeleety, zee meessing leenks ere-a steell meessing.

Just for fun, howz about we really drive Ray nuts and enter all of our comments in dialectically pure Swedish Chef from now on?