Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Back to Our Regularly Scheduled Atheism

Okay, I just couldn't ignore this. (For me, this sort of thing is fun. I like going after the bigots who think I'm an immoral, commie, mass murderer who secretly believes in yhwh and want to turn my fine country into a theocracy. We'll shorten that to Assholes for Christ(tm).)

In case you are unfamiliar with Ray Comfort, lucky you, he is an Asshole for Christ(tm) and a Liar for Christ(tm) who runs a blog called, oddly enough, Atheist Central. I know, it's . . . well . . . a lie! He also hangs out with Kirk Cameron, who left what little acting he used to do behind to star in christianist films in which he refuses to kiss actresses other than his wife. (Yes, this does result in a scene wherein the actress is replaced with KC's wife in a wig. No, really.) Youtube "Left Behind", I think it's somewhere towards the beginning of the film, if I remember correctly.

Anyways, why do bad things happen to good people? If you're an atheist, the answer is simple: bad things happen. That's it. Bad things happen to good people, bad people, karmically neutral people, dogs, cats, trees, rocks, birds, bees, and I think I have a rap song going on here.

If you're a christianist, on the other hand, this question is deeply scary/fascinating. Here you are, praying to your sky-daddy, trying to obey all the conflicting rules in your sacred text written by nomadic tribesmen at least 2,000 year ago, and bad things still happen to you? Aren't you good? Aren't you supposed to be getting rewarded for this? Otherwise, what's the point? Why obey all these arcane rules? Hey, look at the atheists, they're having fun. You're not having fun, and you're getting shit on. Just doesn't seem fair, does it?

Eventually, if you allow the cognitive dissonance to fester long enough, you get the following:

The problem with most people that see God as "failing to answer prayer" is that they just don't understand the nature of prayer. it's vjack's law! Provided sufficient time and responses from Christians, any critical analysis of the Christian bible performed by an atheist will inevitably lead some Christian to claim that his or her bible can only be correctly understood by the Christian faithful. Well, this may be vjack's second law: provided sufficient time and responses from christians, any critical analysis of prayer performed by an atheist will invitably lead some christian to claim that only christians possess the knowledge sufficient to understand the true nature of prayer.

It's like in the movies, you know, "God if you save me now I'll be in church on Sunday". I'm not sure that counts as a prayer per se. That's more like negotiating. That's trying to strong arm God and it's not going to happen. Or the prayer is self centered (greedy) or simply against God's will (just my time to die). So, your prayer will be answered unless it's something you might actually benefit from (greedy) or god had already decided some other way. So, what would be the point of prayer, exactly? Some people pray to God out of fear of death but don't want to live the required life. huh? try to use english in the generally accepted way if you wish to communicate anything at all.

Next we get an argument that makes me more ethical than christians and god. nice.

Also if I called you a cowardly stupid fool and said bad things about your mother would you give me the time of day much less save my life? i probably wouldn't tell you the time, but if i saw you drowning, yes I would try to save you. For me, that would be calling 911, because I can barely swim, but I wouldn't just walk away. I don't condemn people to death for insulting me or my mother. So how can I expect God to answer my prayers if I treat him like this? He's god, asshat! he's supposed to be more moral and ethical than mere humans. You have have god almighty was a vindictive twit who is less ethical than your average sociopath. My dog understands "fair" better than that.

We have pushed God out of our society, out of our schools, out of our courts, out of our government, and out of our lives. Ah, the meme that in 1950, life was all godly and wonderful. Then we stopped pushing religion in public schools and using the bible to decide court cases, and the whole world went to hell. (Go ask a black man what life was like in 1950 if you want a perspective on this. Or a woman. Or a gay. They don't have the rose-colored 1950 glasses.)

And, just because the day at a public school doesn't start with a prayer doesn't mean any individual can't be christian. Go ahead. You already get your major holy days off. oh, and you don't have to worry that everybody hates christians and you might not get the job or the house or the car, or you might get beaten up for being christian. get over yourself.

Then you want to blame God (or rather not believe in him) for not protecting us. well, that was two thoughts in one. So, if everyone in the US isn't praying to god just the right way, even the people who do pray to god the right way get screwed. Nice. We as a nation told God to go away and we don't need him. So God, as requested, removed his hand of protection from our nation and the number of people dying and the number of disaster has increased over the decades. Show your work. I do not believe there are more people dying and more disasters since, well, he doesn't say when. I guess if he's talking about last Tuesday, that might be true.

Listen to me here, I testified told, for those not familiar with fundyspeak to this to my pastor last night... Sunday before last I wasn't going to go to Sunday night service at the local nursing home. It was new to me and I wasn't sure I really wanted to. Really old people aren't the liveliest bunch. that's nice. he doesn't want "really old" people and church all mixed up. Also I wasn't paying attention to the clock and I was going to be like 10 minutes late anyways. so why even show up. So I argued it over in my head but I know God was telling me to go. when you hear voices in your head, try some haldol. So I went. how were the "really old" people, dory? as "really old" as you had feared?

After the service I headed home and seen saw, you SAW! a guy on the side of the road trying to change a tire in the dark. Car after car passed by and I would of have, you would HAVE! also but God pushed me and I turned around. good thing he didn't shove your arm too far, you could HAVE crashed. Come to find out him and his pregnant wife with a young dog was shivering in the cold trying to change this tire with a broken jack.

AAAAHHHHH!!!!! I found out that he - HE-, his pregnant wife and their puppy were shivering in the cold trying to change a tire with a broken jack. Try some english, dory.

My tools weren't in my truck so I gave them some extra light and made friendly conversation while we waited for their parents to arrive. I know I was part of God's answer to a prayer that night. what prayer? you gave them light, which they couldn't use because the jack was broken, and nice conversation. Yeah. I'm sure they were thrilled. If god really wanted to answer their prayer, why didn't he make you put the tools in your car BEFORE you left for church? Why don't you have tire-changing tools in your car, where they might be useful? What you pass off as good will or circumstance isn't as it always seems. I'm telling you if you give Glory and Praise to God when good things happen your life will be so much better. show your work. But you need to understand even the most true hearted Christians suffer. God brings us closer to him and makes us grow in many ways. What if we didn't have the Martyrs? yeah, what? this affects me how? If Christians were not willing to suffer and die for Jesus this religion would of HAVE. "of" is not a synonym for "have". vanished long ago. or the romans could HAVE gotten more lions. I will tell you this, why does a AN atheist suffer? I don't know. because everyone suffers, asshat! Why does a true believer suffer? For the Glory of God in a way we can only hope to understand. well, where do i sign up for the undeserved extra portion of suffering?

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