Friday, January 16, 2009

Raping Euripides

In case you're not a big fan of the ancient Greeks (makes you the wierdo), Euripides was a Greek playwright who lived in Athens in the 400s BCE. I enjoy Euripides because he portrayed strong, believable female characters (the standard then, as now, was for either shrieking shrewish villainesses or sweet, vacuous nothings) and intelligent slaves. He also enjoyed satirizing the gods.

I find it odd that this asshat would choose Euripides for his nom-du-interwebs, because (a) Euripides was obviously against bigotry, as proven by his portraying women and slaves in a positive light, and (b) Ancient Greeks really enjoyed their homosexuality. I can't decide if asshat wants to impress us with his knowledge of Ancient Greek names, or if he is unaware of the irony. (Call Alanis Morissette, she'll tell you all about it.)

So, we have the Curmudgeon Before My Time Top Ten:

10. is a rant on Hollywood and how the movies suck, blahblahblah (I've watched some very enjoyable movies lately) and then we get this bit of unintentional irony:

also activist actors who think that just because they make a gazillion more dollars than any of the rest of the world, they should express their opinions about fairness, and you have one shining example of Dumb and Dumber.

really, aren't you expressing your opinion right now? aren't I? doesn't everyone have the right to do so, and with the interwebs, the means? hey, you think nobody should be sharing their opinion, i think you should start with you.

9. Microsoft Vista. I agree.

8. Federalized Education. I'm not really sure what that means, but he seems to be raving against the No Child Left Behind Act. I agree.

7. Duplicitous Politicians. (Redundant. Once one says "politician", one need not add "duplicitous".) Oh, wait . . . And by duplicitous, I mean lying. Why yes, that is the definition of "duplicitous". Thanks. Oh, I see, he's pissed that a politician might actually fight to keep a minority's rights from being trampled by the majority will. I'm pretty sure that's the point of politicians. One recent poster child of politicians is Jerry Brown, former governor of California and now the California Attorney General. When Prop 8 passed this past year in California, he at first said he would defend the choice of the people. But on reflection, no doubt mirrored by his desire for reelection, he filed a brief with the California Supreme Court arguing that the Court should not accept the vote of the people. Because, if we allowed these things to go to majority rule, blacks might still be slaves, and women sure wouldn't be voting, but since asshat is no doubt a white male, i'm sure this wouldn't bother him at all.

6. Planned Parenthood = baby killers. Planned Parenthood gives poor women access to basic women's health services (pap smears, etc.) and to BIRTH CONTROL. If you actually want to prevent abortions, you would be interested in preventing unwanted pregnancies. If you aren't, then just admit that you want to punish poor women for being poor and women and get it over with.

5. Keanu Reeves. I like Keanu Reeves. Oh, that's right, he's bi.

4. Reality TV. The reason I rarely watch TV anymore. (No, I don't read, I play video games.)

Admire this gem:

3. The Gay Agenda. THERE.IS.NO.GAY.AGENDA. There is a liberal agenda, and whoever it is who keeps leaving it where conservatives can find it had better stop.

I know. I know. Simply everyone insists that there is no such thing as the gay agenda. yeah, cause there isn't. if you believe or see or hear a thing that nobody else in the world does, it's YOU! get some thorazine.

and now we segue into a completely unrelated story that has nothing to do with gays, agendas, or anything.

Years ago, Steve Martin starred in one of those vacuous Hollywood films I warned you about, entitled The Jerk. (I'm sorry to say that I suffered through about a half hour of it once.) oh, you poor baby! did you watch 1/2 hour of a bad movie? you should sue. The only thing remotely funny in the film was the scene with Steve Martin leaving his family and insisting he didn't need anything. For those of you spared this film, I've quoted it here:
Well I'm gonna to go then. And I don't need any of this. I don't need this stuff, and I don't need you. I don't need anything except this.[picks up an ashtray] And that's it and that's the only thing I need, is this. I don't need this or this. Just this ashtray. And this paddle game, the ashtray and the paddle game and that's all I need. And this remote control. The ashtray, the paddle game, and the remote control, and that's all I need. And these matches. The ashtray, and these matches, and the remote control and the paddle ball. And this lamp. The ashtray, this paddle game and the remote control and the lamp and that's all I need. And that's all I need too. I don't need one other thing, not one - I need this. The paddle game, and the chair, and the remote control, and the matches, for sure. And this. And that's all I need. The ashtray, the remote control, the paddle game, this magazine and the chair.

here's how asshat attempts to connect the nonexistent gay agenda to an old Steve Martin movie:

Here's the crux of the gay agenda. They insist that all they want is to be left alone. Well, to be left alone and have tax breaks. He means the same tax benefits that married people receive, which gays can't receive, because they can't marry. So, what gays want is EQUALITY. To be left alone, have tax breaks and medical privileges He just used the words "medical privileges" to describe health insurance. married people can share their health insurance with each other. gays can't, because they can't marry. Ever watch someone die because they didn't have insurance? I have. Again, what the gays want is EQUALITY. To be left alone, have tax breaks, medical privileges and be allowed to marry EQUALITY. To be left alone, have tax breaks, medical privileges, be allowed to marry and openly teach gay sex in school nobody wants to teach gay sex in school. we don't currently teach hetero sex in schools. in fact, with the whole abstinence fiasco, we don't teach anything at all about sex in school....This is just like Steve Martin's agenda, only not funny. I didn't particularly find that spiel funny.

2. Gay Pride Parades. After you go off on a spiel about the nonexistent gay agenda, it's unnecessary to inform us that you dislike gay pride parades.

Now, asshat manages to pull off 2/3 of a hat trick and hit two of my hotbuttons:

1. Evangelical Atheists

Disclaimer: I find Richard Dawkins as annoying as everyone else does and I find evangelical atheism a mixed message at best. However, I do not enjoy the comparison between atheists and totalitarian dictators. Once more with feeling: atheism doesn't kill anyone, some atheists do kill, as do some christians, some hindus, some jews, some muslims, and doubtless a few shintos (shintoists?).

These are atheists who just can't leave God alone. actually, they can't leave belief in god alone. you can't annoy the nonexistent. if it turns out that i can, i will give up blogging and dedicate my life to pissing off the easter bunny. Evangelical Atheists live with the haunting fear that someone, somewhere may actually believe in God. no, evangelical atheists have just been pushed a little too far by the rampant bigotry against atheists in this country. admit you're an atheist in public, and get death threats, vandalism and fired. congressman rail against us, ray comfort makes it his life's mission to destroy us all. welcome to being me, asshat. keep your god, like your penis, to yourself. And they are willing to spew the gospel of atheism at the rest of the world as long as they can hide behind the shield of "tolerance." like you spew the gospel of bigotry at the world while hiding behind the shield of the first amendment? Interestingly enough, Evangelical Atheists share a venerable tradition with some of the most notable people of the 20th Century: Stalin, Hitler, Mussolini, Mao Zedong, and Pol Pot. i think the word you're looking for is "notorious". don't rape the english language while you're raping euripides' memory. The only difference is that these five individuals not only preached the gospel of atheism, but they set themselves up as gods in an attempt to replace the one, true God. no, the difference is they were murderous psychopaths who got way too much power for anyone's good. but, if you confuse bigotry with intelligence, i guess that's an easy mistake to make.

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