Friday, January 30, 2009

This Is Just Silly

religion, fundamentalism, fundamentalist, fundy, christian, evangelical, evangelism, atheism, atheist, atheophobia, witness, witnessing, barber

Atheistic Barber by SoundingtheAlarm:

Does God Exist?

This is one of the best explanations of why God allows pain andsuffering that I have seen. oh, dear, you just know this is going to unintentionally hi-larious. fish, barrel, sawed-off shotgun. It's an explanation other people will understand. "you can't miss it!"

A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed. or to buy a lawn mower. As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation. They talked about so many things and various subjects. how much hair did this guy have? i'm a woman, and i have my hair washed, cut, blow dried and styled, and it doesn't take that long.

When they eventually touched on the subject of God and this came up why?, the barber said:"I don't believe that God exists." yeah, right. atheist barbers in religious communities, barbers who depend on these christians to willingly frequent their establishments, often just come right out with their atheism. uh-huh.

"Why do you say that?" asked the customer.

"Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God doesn't exist. took a little more than that for me, but some people are just natural born deciders. Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children? If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain. or god's a sadistic voyeur. or god doesn't give a shit. neither one is a particularly pleasant thought. I can't imagine a loving God who would allow all of these things. me either"

The customer thought for a moment, but didn't respond because he didn't want to start an argument. who does want to start an argument with a guy using razor sharp scissors, or an actual razor, on your head? The barber finished his job and the customer left the shop. Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard. homeless guy? hippy? librul? He looked dirty and unkempt! the horror!

The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again and he said to the barber: "You know what? Barbers do not exist." fish, barrel, cruise missile

"How can you say that?" asked the surprised barber. "I am here, and I am a barber and I just worked on you!" duh!

"No!" the customer exclaimed. "Barbers don't exist because if they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards, like that man outside." because barbers just wave their hands and make everyone in the world kempt? seriously? we just established that haircut and beard trim took approximately 3 hours. this particular barber couldn't make more than 2.5 people kempt in any given work day.

"Ah, but barbers DO exist! What happens is, people do not come to me." yeah, homeless people usually don't focus on their split ends. odd, that.

"Exactly!" affirmed the customer. "That's the point! God, too, DOES exist! What happens, unnecessary comma is, people don't go to Him and do not look for Him. That's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world."

this has got to be a ray comfort witnessing technique. it screams of ray's abuse of logic.

so, how do we know the barber exists? we can see the barber, we can hear the barber, we can smell the barber, we could even, depending on how friendly the barber is, feel and taste the barber. how many people the barber plys his trade on is irrelevant. In fact, the barber could not cut anyone's hair ever, we still know he exists.

god, on the other hand, cannot be heard, seen, smelled, tasted, or felt. if i could in any way perceive god with any one of my senses, i would totally worship him. i'm not being deliberately difficult here, i just want some damn proof.

besides that, the argument that we are responsible for our own suffering, that we cause our own suffering by not worshipping the sky-daddy enough, is remarkably offensive. what about children? is this asshat trying to tell me that a 3 month old that is shaken to the point of brain damage and blindness caused his own suffering by not worshipping the right way? what about a 6 year old sex slave? Is she being raped 15, 20 times a day because she didn't pray enough?

What the fuck is wrong with people? that idea is better than the idea that god doesn't exist? really? wow.

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