Thursday, January 8, 2009

Who Needs Another Dose of STFU?

Ray Comfort. I think he needs an IV drip of STFU.

He calls his blog "Atheist Central". Clearly not. I find this obnoxious because I want my blog to be a happy place for the atheist. (All are welcome, with a special shoutout to my pagan readers! Goddess Bless! I've got enough cookies for everyone.) I want my blog to be a place where the unbeliever says, "Oh yes, she gets me. It's okay to be me here. I can post comments about what I really think. Oh, and she has cookies!"

Go ahead, do a search for Atheist or atheism on google. Ray Comfort's fake atheist site is one of the first things to come up. This is disingenuous at best. His blog doesn't contain any real information on atheists. No definitions of atheism, no statistics about atheism, just a whole lotta evangelizing.

Stop it. Just stop it. You can't trick someone into believing in something. It's not like someone researching atheism, for whatever reason, is going to go to your site and suddenly start praying to Jesus.

I thought I'd share a little of Mr. Comfort's bullshit with you while I'm here.

The Atheist Starter Kit:

If you are a beginner atheist like a first level mage? don't worry, leveling up is easy for the first few levels. after that, you'll have to find a lot of things to kill and locks to pick., there's a belief system you should embrace or a lack of belief system. is that even possible? and a language you should learn esperanto!, or you will find yourself in trouble that's right, the Atheist High Council will come to get you. We're getting a little tired of your attitude, young man!. Here are ten suggestions for the novice:

1. Whenever you are presented with credible evidence for God's existence, call it a "straw man argument," or "circular reasoning." If something is quoted from somewhere, label it "quote mining."

If the argument is indeed a straw man, this is valid. Feel free to call circular reasoning when appropriate, as well. For example: I know god is real because the bible says so. I know the bible is true because god authored it. There's no other place to go but 'round and 'round with that.

Quote mining is a little more complex. Quote mining is essentially taking a quote out of context so that it seems to be saying something that it doesn't. For example, if at some point, in a post, I put together the words "god" and "exists", and then Mr. Comfort takes that, out of context, as proof that I believe in god, that's quote mining. It's perfectly valid to call someone on quote mining, but you have to do some research first.

2. When a Christian says that creation proves that there is a Creator, dismiss such common sense by saying "That's just the old watchmaker argument." well, yeah. creation proving the creator is circular reasoning.

3. When you hear that you have everything to gain and nothing to lose (the pleasures of Heaven, and the endurance of Hell) by obeying the Gospel, say "That's just the old Pascal wager." Pascal's wager goes something like this: If the atheist is right about there being no god, then obeying the gospel loses them nothing. if the atheist is wrong, and god exists, then disobeying the gospel will land them in hell, to suffer for all eternity. therefore, the logical thing to do is to obey the gospel.

here's the problem with pascal's wager: it assumes that god can't tell that you don't actually believe in him. apparently, omniscient god is clueless as to your true motiviations, and can only see your actions. hell, i can see past people better than that.

and, really, isn't it just a teensy bit blasphemous to pretend to believe when you don't? why would anyone want to encourage this?

4. You can also deal with the "whoever looks on a woman to lust for her, has committed adultery with her already in his heart," by saying that there is no evidence that Jesus existed. None. who says that? I know, and any atheist knows, that a man named jesus did exist in judea and the surrounding area around 2000 years ago. nobody's arguing that. what i disagree with is whether he was more than a man. besides, given jesus' other messages, i suspect he was trying to say that we're all sinners, not that desire itself is bad. whatever.

5. Believe that the Bible is full of mistakes, and actually says things like the world is flat. Do not read it for yourself. That is a big mistake. Instead, read, believe, and imitate Richard Dawkins. Learn and practice the use of big words. "Megalo-maniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully" is a good phrase to learn. that is a good phrase to learn. I don't like Richard Dawkins. I think he has turned atheism into an evangelical belief system. However, most atheists read the bible far more often and thoroughly than most fundamentalists. I read it all the time. It is full of mistakes. It does say the world is flat. It also says that bats are birds, insects have four legs and that rabbits belong in the same family as camels. Hey, it was written 6000 - 2000 years ago. What do you expect?

6. Say that you were once a genuine Christian, and that you found it to be false. (The cool thing about being an atheist is that you can lie through your teeth, because you believe that are no moral absolutes.) I do believe in moral absolutes. I just don't believe they come from god. Look, Mr. Comfort's argument is that any person who was a "genuine christian" would never become an atheist. Why? I know that atheists, genuine atheists, become christians. Why couldn't the reverse be true? Because Mr. Comfort is terrified by the idea that someday, his faith may not be enough. Perhaps, for one moment, Mr. Comfort will question his beliefs and then BAM! eternity in hell.

Additionally, if a Christian points out that this is impossible (simply due to the very definition of Christianity as one who knows the Lord no, the definition of christian is follower of christ. that's why jesus wasn't christian. you can't follow yourself.), just reply "That's the 'no true Scotsman fallacy. it is the no true scotsman fallacy. sorry.'" PLEASE NOTE: It cannot be overly emphasized how learning and using these little phrases can help you feel secure in dismissing common sense. the common sense of believing that god sacrificed god to god so that god could change a rule that god made?

7. Believe that nothing is 100% certain nothing is 100% certain, though many things are 99.99999% certain. , except the theory of Darwinian evolution oh, pulease, evolution is not a smack at god. it's a scientific theory with scientific data to back it up. why did god make the data if he didn't want us to come to that conclusion?. Do not question it. Believe with all of your heart that there is credible scientific evidence for species-to-species transitional forms. science is not like religion. i don't have to believe with all my heart in a scientific theory. first of all, whether i accept it or not, it's still true. secondly, i only need to review it, understand it and move on. When you make any argument, pat yourself on the back by concluding with "Man, are you busted!" That will make you feel good about yourself. what exactly are you doing right now, Mr. Comfort?

8. Deal with the threat of eternal punishment by saying that you don't believe in the existence of Hell. i don't. Then convince yourself that because you don't believe in something, it therefore doesn't exist. uh, what? prove to me hell exists, Mr. Comfort. Don't follow that logic onto a railway line and an oncoming train. logic that is pointy on both ends, Mr. Comfort. You can choose to disbelieve gravity as you do with evolution. just don't walk off the top of the Empire State Building and expect to float.

9. Blame Christianity for the atrocities of the Roman Catholic church--when it tortured Christians through the Spanish Inquisition, imprisoned Galileo for his beliefs, or when it murdered Moslems in the Crusades. credit where credit is due, Mr. Comfort. Actually, the real issue is when you create a system wherein a person not 100% on your side is teh evil and must be destroyed. At that point, it doesn't matter how you define "on my side", you're going to do something awful.

10. Finally, keep in fellowship with other like-minded atheists who believe as you believe, and encourage each other in your beliefs. you mean like christians do? Build up your faith. like christians? Never doubt for a moment. like christians? Remember, the key to atheism is to be unreasonable. like christians? Fall back on that when you feel threatened. like christians? Think shallow, and keep telling yourself that you are intelligent. like christians! Remember, an atheist is someone who pretends there is no God. no, an atheist is a person who doesn't believe in god at all. Try again, Mr. Comfort.


  1. and may the Gods bless you, my cookie-teasing friend :D

    as a side note: i am a straight woman. i, quite literally, cannot commit adultry. because adultry is defined as "coveting a[nother] man's wife". and as i am straight, i feel no covetness towards any woman (maybe, MAYBE, something she owns, but that is different). also, since i am not a man and it really says "another man's wife" i am double covered...

    why is it so hard to understand that not everyone BELIEVES in something? if i go around espousing the existence and magical healing powers of unicorns, this DOES NOT MEAN THEY ARE REAL. i really really DO NOT believe in Hell, or Satan (but, yeah, i'm one of those pagans who do believe in a diety-like-creature) *scuffs toe*

    some people really are just stupid. like this guy.

    (did you change your "about me", or has it always teased us with cookies?)

  2. wondered how long it would take you to notice ;)

    apparently, if you just say something often and loudly enough, it becomes true. the republicans are fond of this strategy, too.

  3. but, but, but, in this case it IS true! you tease us with cookies!
    but this is a Good Thing. i like cookies.

    i do not like lying assholes who try to re-write history.

    thanx for changing your profile - it gives me a profound sense of giddy giggle-ness (yes, i made up a word. and yes i am silly)

    you are my hero! my hero i say! the Cookie-ator!

    yes, i slavishy worship your Cookie Heroics even as you mock me for saddenly pathetic addiction to cookies. which causes me to desire more cookies!

    i am being totally goofy, here. i went out to dinner with my dad, who is an athiest, and we had this really fun conversation that spring-borded off of this post (and the one about how to convert an atheist). i think my dad has a crush on you now :)

  4. so if i play my cards right, i can become your stepmom? *wicked laugh*

  5. i just laughed so hard i choked!
    i cannot spell, sorry

    and yes, maybe, if my current step-mom goes away (not being mean, i actually am really fond of my step-mom)

    i am just totally amused at the picture of you trying to parent me.
    i am still laughing. because i can see this - "Elizabeth! you cannot have any more cookies until you finish your paper on abortion rights is Lithuania! no! bad Liz! no more cookies! at least not until you tell me the rate of contracept failure in Poland!" (which makes sense, Lithuania and Poland have spent forever taking over each other...)

    sorry, i'm really really weird. but thanx mom!

    (we are about the same age, too, lol)


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