Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Slacktivist FTW!

fred, slacktivist, phelps, nom, gay, marriage, homophobia, homosexual, religion,
The Slacktivist came up with the best argument against "gay marriage will take away our freeeeeeedoms!" hysteria ever.

Fred Phelps*.

Yes, that Fred Phelps.

But the point here is that Fred Phelps is a free man. His only legal troubles stem from instances of direct physical assault -- not from the hateful content of his beliefs. So when the folks at NOM insist that their opposition to same-sex marriage is a matter of "religious liberty," the liberty they're talking about has to be the liberty to exceed the Fred Phelps standard -- the liberty not just to restrict membership on religious grounds, or just to preach against homosexuality as a sin, or to condemn and denounce homosexuals as people hated by God, but the liberty, apparently, to go beyond all that, beyond anything even Fred Phelps has imagined.

Fred Phelps is a free man, so if you think your freedom is going to be restricted, you must be planning to outdo Fred Phelps.

So there's the two-word answer for every Tony Perkins or James Dobson or Damon Owens who makes up some dubious claim about being persecuted or punished or threatened or jailed or whatever for their anti-gay beliefs.

"I'm a California doct-- " Fred Phelps! He's a free man. Are you worse than him? No? Then shut up, 'kay?

"I'm part of a church group in ..." Fred frikkin' Phelps, buddy. I don't wanna hear it.

"I'm a Massachu ..." Phellllps! Fred Phelps. No one is persecuting you, but your whining is giving me a headache so please just go away now, thanks.

Please feel free to use this argument- a lot. It's brilliant, it's simple and it's true.

*for those of you keeping track, the Slacktivist has now used Hitler to disprove hell and Fred Phelps to disprove gay marriage hysteria. I can't wait to see what comes next.


  1. Oh RAmen to that. I thought for the longest time that the Phelps clan were a hoax like Landover Baptist. When I found out they were real I was just appalled. I would defend their right to spew their stupidity though.

    Christians should consider that. The majority of the people they claim are persecuting them are the ones who will be doing the heavy lifting to defend their free speech, if it is ever threatened.

  2. If Phelps weren't abusing children, I would tend to call Poe on him. It's that bizarre.

    And you're right- I despise anti gay activists, and would defend to the last their right to spew hateful bullshit. They, however, would be perfectly fine with removing my right to blog about gay marriage and atheism and feminism.

  3. I read his peice this morning and thought it was brilliant! It is short and sweet, you can't argue with it, and pretty much guaranteed to shut people up!

  4. Gotta love Fred Clark (slacktivist), that is pure genius. I am using that from now on.

  5. Ooohh, I was hoping you would notice that, Fannie!

  6. Props to Slacktivist on this argument, and thank for posting it, PF! I will totally use it next time I hear "secular gay conspiracy" BS being bandied about.

    It's way more likely to gain me a few seconds of pause in which to flee than Stephen Colbert's argument: "If they legalize gay marriage in all 50 states, straight marriage will become illegal!"


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