Sunday, April 5, 2009

Where Do I Even Begin

misogyny, feminism, feminist, religion, christian, god, stupid,vagina

Okay, that was a start, but I think we need more than provagina bus ads for this piece of self-hating misogyny.

Excerpts from: Women Our Purpose (subtitle, My Main Title Needed a Comma, But My Husband Wouldn't Let Me Have It) by momof9splace.

I'm sure we can all agree that God made everything on purpose. no, we don't all agree on that, but please continue He makes nothing by accident. Nothing is happy until it finds the purpose for which God has make made it. determinism, anyone? Seems like all we hear these days is "I want my rights". oh, dear Everyone is talking this way....but what about my purpose..or my place. That is what I want to address here. i'd like to address your assault on the english language.

You have only one right in life. I'm assuming it's not the right to use the talents and abilities that this asshat would say god gave us. And that is to find God's will and purpose for your life. she shoots, she scores! okay, look, if god wants me doing something other than what i am doing, he needs to send me a memo or something. hello, he's freakin' omnipotent, he can't shoot me an email? Then sit securely and work actively right in the center of God's purpose and place for you. oh, my. It is really the only way to find contentment. my dog is "content". the most content person I know. actually, the only content person I know. i don't think i really want to be "content". content does not mean the same thing as "happy" or "fulfilled", which is what i really want to be. (i manage happy on a regular basis, but fulfilled takes some work.) To be in the will of God is the highest honor given us. sigh God has a specific purpose for each of His creatures. So, God then has a purpose for women.

all women in fact. because all women, all 3-3.5 billion of us, are exactly the same. we all need the same things, enjoy the same things and fill the exact same purpose. hey, who needs individuality when you're nothing more than a fetal container?

*warning- extreme creationism to follow. please note, i am not condoning or agreeing with a literal reading of genesis.*

First let me say that God didn't create man for you. Yep! you heard me right. actually, i read you, but whatever. God created you to be a help meet for man. that's right. you have no value whatsoever outside of your relationship to a man. you're about as useful as, say, a chair. You see ladies, I believe God saved the best for last....woman....created after everything else..Because man was incomplete... what is up with these random ellipses? He had it all there in the garden. well, yeah, except for something to fuck. and if he did have something to fuck prior to eve, i don't want to know about it. Every perfect thing and direct fellowship with God. i guess fucking is not a perfect thing. But God saw that something was missing... funny that the omniscient being didn't anticipate that. He wanted Adam to have the best of everything, every desire met. and totally forgot the fucking. So, to top off a perfect world He created woman FOR THE MAN. this actually gets better real soon.

Man needed someone to see how much he could lift and to say "My you are strong". yeah, you read that right. god created woman to be a freakin' cheerleader. (deferring further comment until the end of this paragraph.) But there was no one, Maybe he took a lap around the garden and there was no one to say.."Wow, you are the fastest runner I know!" (well, except here) of course adam was the fastest runner eve know. there wasn't anyone else in the garden! God made woman to sit on the sidelines and cheer when a man succeeds. (and here) women aren't to join in and succeed themselves- they are to sit on the sidelines and watch other people succeed. you know at least 1 of those 9 children is a girl who will grow up never participating in anything, never succeeding, never even considering she could succeed. God made a woman to sit in the audience while her husband preaches and say. "That’s the best preacher in the world". That is why God made woman. He made her to be man's help meet. God made woman for man! The word "help meet" means "completer." Like finishing a circle...a completion. No, God didn't see a child needing care and say "I'm going to send somebody down to take care of that child". He didn't say "that baby needs a diaper change, I'll create someone to take care of that". Nor did He say "there's a dirty house, I'll send someone to clean". And as much as we would like to believe this He didn't say, "I'm going to send her down for man to love and protect". God didn't send you down to be helped; God sent you down to help gee, hope you don't ever need help with anything, ever. you know, like everyone does occasionally.

look, i know what a "helpmeet" is, and that concept is significantly less offensive than what she's pushing. a helpmeet tends house and cares for the children, thus freeing up her husband to earn a living. that at least acknowledges the value of a woman as a mother, cook and housekeeper. this, though, acknowledges no value at all.

further, this portrays men as sad little creatures with fragile egos that need constant boosting, both in the form of excessive praise, and in the form of never being challenged by anyone. this woman does not respect men. at all.

even further, this encourages what i call "American Idol Syndrome". constantly using the highest praise to describe another's accomplishment only encourages them in the delusional belief that they are the bestest that ever lived at everything, which no one is. Criticism, constructive criticism, is vital to improvement, and everybody could use a little improvement.

This next bit doesn't make any sense.

God looked down and saw that man was not a complete package. odd how omnipotent god did not make man complete all on his own, or anticipate man's incompleteness. He saw that he could not make it by himself and God said, "I'm going to make someone to complete him. Like a noun with no verb. Like a three sided square. analogy fail. like a noun with no verb? how about those "exit" signs marking the emergency exits? no verb necessary there. like a three sided square? that's not a square, asshat, that's a triangle. There was something missing in man so He made you to complete him. That is your purpose. So, that being the case, God made you to be the aggressor. aggressive like a three sided square? Yes, woman is to be the weaker vessel aggressively weak? what?!

Let's put it this way, woman comes to an incomplete man, completes him, and then reaps the benefits. what benefits? That's her job-to be the aggressor, to complete man so he can lead her, but he needs woman to start him! um . . . to start him? How do we do this? Take interest in his job...not just the paycheck..learn ask questions... could you just write a complete sentence? let him know how important you feel whatever he does is. oh, look. you're watching tv, it's so freakin' important, you're more vital to the continuation of the human race than water! did i do it right? Does he like sports? Whatever he enjoys act interested. because nobody can tell when you're pretending to be interested. Be supportive. If he catches a 6-inch fish, say "wow that is a whale. hehe well, yeah, you should definitely laugh afterwards to let him know exactly how serious you are. oh, and i'm guessing, no matter how stupid this man is, he knows a 6" fish is not a whale.

Of course there isn't a "women's libber we call that "feminism" these days alive are there dead ones, then? that sees any truth in what I'm trying to say here. oooh, wonder why. Do you know what these women's libbers are? feminists? They are a group of confused women trying to find happiness and failing because they are searching outside of God's Word and God's plan. how do you know they're failing? i can't believe you've ever spoken to a feminist. have you done a survey? anything other than a bald assertion? They say, "I have my rights too". No they don't-not yet! nope, sorry, in the US, we do. you can deny reality all you want, it's still there. A woman does not have any right in this world until she's done this. and then she gets the right to what? do it some more? Check it in the Bible; Always in the Bible she is to be the follower i think i'll check frodo's holy book first.

we'll skip the bible quotes and go to some advice for the younger women among us:

Now I suppose that there are some young ladies out there that are wondering how all this should concern them now. run! run for your lives! Well girls, there is a father in your home, a boss at work, a preacher who needs your prayers, your obedience, start now where God has you and then when your TIME comes, the natural thing will be to do that which God has ordained. obey any man in anything he says. at all times. i guess that's one way to take care of the whole rape problem Are you praying for the right man? the man with the fragile ego who needs you to completely efface yourself for his sake? the one who can be convinced that a 6" fish is a whale? that one? For someone who will love the Lord more than he loves you? please, honey, can i be second best?That is what makes it all work. sure, if you have absolutely no expectations of ever being happy, everything works out. Pray ask God to open and shut the doors of your heart when need be. please, lord, make me incapable of wanting love, happiness or respect, so that i may spend my life cheerleading an idiot with a fragile ego.


  1. Good evening; I got to your blog from a comment you left on the Teapot Atheist blog (its author is a very good friend of mine).

    I just wanted to let you know and understand that as disgraceful as this epic failure actually is, maybe it's not as surprising when you think about it deeper. I don't know about you, but it seems like many theistic women, especially Christian women, suffer from the Stockholm Syndrome, borderline personality disorder, and postpartum depression all at the same time. I hear such language and idiocy from most African-American women here in Atlanta on a regular basis--but look at the state of the overall community. My preliminary impression is that the correlations between religiosity/spirituality and various societal problems are so strong and so frequent that many people suffer from what could be called analysis paralysis and the "paradox of choices".

    I'm interested as to whether you've noticed something similar or different--and, if different, please inform me of where I might have made mistakes. I look forward to reading the rest of your blog!

  2. Holy shit.

    There's even some choice quotes you omitted, like these:

    He wants the child to obey even if the dad is never the right kind of dad.

    Context makes clear that she thinks a woman should obey the man in her life even if he is never the right kind of father/husband, too.

    So he doesn’t... give you the attention that you crave, well the Bible doesn’t say he's supposed to do that.

    That is some deeply self-loathing misogyny, there.

    The absolute worst part about the site, though, is the endless midi loop of "Jesus Name Above All Names". Aaargh! Makes me want to rip my ears off...

  3. just to be a total brat...
    i think that there are miniature whales. or there were, i mean, some millions of years ago. and if Pete caught one (which would require that he GO FISHING, a thing he will not do) i would be TOTALLY impressed with his time-manipulation.

    where do you FIND these wack-a-loons?

  4. erm...
    google seems to be being weird - if an anon. comment shows up talking about time traveling 6 inch whales, that was me.

    i have NO CLUE WTF. it keeps making me sign back in. i is confuzzled.
    and, as already noted, slap-happy tired. goodnight CookieGoddess!

  5. G Yankee: actually, I have noticed that. there definitely seems to be some stockholm syndrome in a lot of this, or simply battered wife syndrome. also, there is a positive correlation between fundamentalism and mental illness. now i don't know whether certain types of mentally ill people tend toward fundyism or if fundyism creates/exacerbates mental illness (or a little of both), but there is a correlation.

    PnR: there was so much i could have quoted, it was hard to choose.

    d: tiny whales! seriously, though, if I told my hubby "oh, look at that whale" after he caught a small fish, he would be offended. of course, he doesn't need me to worship and praise his every move. "oh, i just love the way you breathe- it's so manly!" c'mon.

  6. This is something I was going to address on my blog today! I'm almost done Quiverfull so I'm all kinds of disturbed by this mentality.
    The fact that these people are trying to say that you will only be happy when you are married to an abusive man is kind of horrifying. And that if he is abusive to you, it's your fault, and you should just take it because it will make him better? That's insane. And yet that is what these women are told. They are raising a generation of girls conditioned to accept abuse.

  7. That's what gets me, is the kids being raised to be the perfect victims.

  8. asshat, that's a triangle

    I almost choked when I read that, shit that's funny

    If he catches a 6-inch fish, say "wow that is a whale. hehe

    She's saying we should LIE. Is there anything in the bible that says no lying? Hell why be truthful, we're only here to stroke his ego, not THINK.

    run! run for your lives!

    Damn! I'm going to go buy my niece some DAMN GOOD RUNNING SHOES!

    You know, now that I think about this, I like her idea. I DON'T HAVE TO WORK! WOOHOO! (soundtrack: I don't wanna work, I just wanna bang on the drum all day), all I gotta do is cheer on my man. That's it, just cheer him on and watch TV. I like that idea. I mean we'll live in poverty and die of starvation but then we'll be in Heaven and I can cheer on God, cause I'm sure he'd like that.

  9. well, i suppose if i could find some rich guy with an ego problem, i could spend all day playing video games and telling him how awesome he is . . .

  10. I conviently forgot that I would then have to do everythink my man told me to do. Forget about saying 'not tonight I have a headache'. Ya, maybe this isn't such a great idea ;)


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