Thursday, April 9, 2009

When Do I Get to Start Scamming People

ray, comfort, way of the master, wotm, bible, religion, evangelism, witness, stupid, jesus,
and calling it salvation?

I talk a lot about Ray Comfort, and about half the reactions I get are "meh- he's stupid, so what?"

He's wildly popular, that's what. Millions of people are paying for his School of Biblical Evangelism (on sale now for $75!), and then using that advice to spread ignorance and bigotry.

This is a sample of the wisdom of Ray Comfort:

If you are familiar with the first law of thermodynamics, then you should be familiar with the second law. It says tells us that it is scientifically impossible for the universe to be eternal. Everything degenerates. Leave an apple on a table for a few weeks and it will rot.

Rotting apples have NOTHING to do with the Second Law of Thermodynamics. Nothing. At. All.

So, other than ridiculous analogies involving rotting apples and the SLT, what does one get for $75?

101 Online Lessons
over 45 Audio Lessons
50 Cartoon Kids Lessons
a student community forum

The Way of the Master (book)
Out of the Comfort Zone (book)
Hell's Best Kept Secret (cd)
True and False Conversion (cd)

And when you graduate ...
Bonded Leather Evidence Bible
A Quality Graduation Certificate

So, ignorance, ignorance, ignorance for kids, communal ignorance, book ignorance, book ignorance, cd ignorance, cd ignorance, a fancy book and . . . a Quality Graduation Certificate.

Please, someone help me, what the fuck is a "quality" graduation certificate? Anyone?

When do I get to make millions selling ignorance? Oh, right, when I give up those annoying morals and ethics. Always in the way.


  1. People are weird. And gullible.

    We should definitely make up our own religion, perhaps based on science fiction (L. Ron Hubbard did) or vampires (Twilight's really popular!). We could be rich.

  2. Oh come now. Its probably printed on real college printer paper! Maybe even mass-produced parchment paper! Wow, I just can't wait to graduate from fallacy/neener neener im not listening school. I'll be just like ray!

  3. Well, I did get Microsoft certification in Word/Excel a few years ago, and they did give me a quality graduation certificate . . .

    well, fannie, what's our religion? i'm going to have to insist upon including feminism and inclusion of all sexes, sexualities, races and places of origin, but after that . . . oh- could we have really cool architecture? like catholic cathedrals as reimagined by ikea? and hats. i want a really big hat.

  4. From my experience, the better the quality of the institution, the cheaper the quality of the certificate handed out. Thus, Ray's School of Biblical Evangelism is clearly a school for monkeys. Or ants.

  5. this could be fun...

    lemme think... taken, taken, taken - damnit, all the fantasist have taken all the good ideas already!

    i'm left with worshipping the goddess Magma, she who keeps gravity working, the magnetic poles in place, and adores nickel...


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