Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Right Over the Edge

hell, heaven, obama, evil, god, pride, stupid, pilgrims progress
Either Pearlysnot has been reading a lot of Pilgrim's Progress lately, or she's gone right over the edge. I'm voting against Pilgrim's Progress.

Hell Called Today. He Said He Wants Back In.

First of all, the picture she used is disturbingly muscley and well, naked. I'm the last person to complain about nudity, especially male nudity, but that picture is squicky.

Our government leaders, run amok of the will of the people, have taxed, bailed, and stimulated the Hell out of America. This would be a good thing right? We don't want hell in the US, do we? And is hell like hell as in a place bad people go, or is hell being used as another name for Satan? I'm not sure how a metaphorical place could be removed, or how it could use a telephone.

Hell called today. and in other news, shame just text messaged me. apparently, pearlysnot won't take its calls anymore. He said he wants back in. He’ll promise anything to be reinstated; anything, that is, but the removal of his earthly influence. but we got rid of hell with the taxing, bailing and stimulating. shouldn't we be doing more of it?

In the last few months, Hell’s presence has been drastically reduced to the ornate, echoing hallways, conference rooms, and judicial chambers of our state and country capitols. wait a minute, are those places not in the US? because the metaphorical place/supreme evil being was just kicked out of the US. so, is it/he in the US or not? i'm confused. Certain politicians and special interest groups, promoting personal agenda over representation of the public, yes, creating jobs and feeding people is not what's best for our society. it's a terrible idea. have welcomed Hell with open arms IS IT KICKED OUT OR IS IT HERE?!, lighting the fire and keeping the coals of Corruption ever glowing. sigh

Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac caught up with the Present and in an exercise of misguided Democracy, the desperate people of this country mistook Ambition for Salvation, electing the former to the highest seat in the land. what? Hell applauded. from within the US, outside the US, or in my arms? Ambition was cool, calm, and collected. ambition is bad? since when? that's decidedly unamerican, my dear. socialist, even. perhaps even facist. Ambition promised the people much - at the very least a renewed America. Being ambiguous acquaintances by day and close confidants by night, Ambition and Hell flew under the radar and went to town doing what they do best, reveling in the chaos and havoc wreaked upon an unsuspecting and emotionally vulnerable people. a metaphorical place and an indefinite noun went clubbing? when will the madness end?

But the hardened citizens of America, descendants of Pilgrims and Pioneers, yes, those brave souls who civilized the Native Americans, um, yeah. Anyway, I'm not a descendant of a Pilgrim or a Pioneer. Lots of USians aren't. posterity of Trial and Tribulation is she just randomly throwing nouns at a board now?, cinched up their belts, brandished their tea bags BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA quite the reinterpretation of how the west was won, that., and said Enough! without a comma or quotes? Exercising true Democracy in a restorative attempt, America reared up in protest, the whole continent, or just the descendents of pilgrims and pioneers? standing united against Folly and Imprudence is every single indefinite noun going to show up at some point?, Ambition and Hell. Hell was properly exposed oh my! and driven back but i thought we already taxed, bailed and stimulated hell out?!, tenuously confined to his partner’s presidential palace. Obama lives in the White House, which is not a palace, and i'm fairly certain the White House is IN THE UNITED STATES. one last time: IS. HELL. GONE. OR. NOT.

While Hell is being steadily eviscerated from the fed-up hearts of the American laymen ouch, Ambition and his congressional minions yet retain a powerful, positional? influence over the slowly-awakening America.

Hell called today. He said he wants back in. oh, for the love of . . . is hell gone or not? But until his membership is reinstated in the hearts of the American citizenry, what? Hell is content to work his mischief through his companions, Ambition and Corruption. and folly and imprudence? trial and tribulation? pilgrims and pioneers? oh, that hurt just to type it.

When push comes to shove, that's a thought which faction will reign supreme? i can't tell. there's so many factions at this point, who could tell? Humility and Industry or Ambition and Corruption? please just stop. Which will you choose to be your Master? i'm going with Irony. And where is Heaven in all this? we haven't even established where hell is! Where are the heavenly hosts of Guardian Angels? and out of left field- comes pearlysnot!

They are mobilizing right alongside Humility and Industry, of course. headdesk Can you feel them? They care. HE This is either god, jesus or joseph smith. possibly bringham young. i can't tell. cares. But HE won’t help us if we forget and deny HIM. if good things happen, that's god. (or jesus or smith or young.) bad things are all our fault.

HE knows Ambition. HE knows Corruption. HE knows you. The question is, what is your Name?

Mine is Urgency.
funny, i would have though Bombast. Possibly Supercilious. Maybe Vainglory.



  1. Ummm. I know I'm not having a very good day, but I could not make any sense of that. It was like she just started typing words. Weird. And someone needs to talk to that woman about random capitalization. Not acceptable. I'm reasonably sure an english teacher just died because of that post.

  2. I call this American Idol Syndrome. See, every time she writes some new bigoted piece of drivel, every member of the bigotsphere stops by and says, "Wow, Pearl, this is the best thing ever written in the history of words!" and now she thinks she can write.

    Tragic, really, that an English teacher died for this.

  3. WHAT

    seriously, she is saying that Obama BROUGHT HELL? and that, somehow, the lunatic fringe who keep insisting that Obama is Muslim and that this is a bad thing (i don't CARE if he is Muslim, there isn't a religious test for POTUS. it would be unconstitutional. and he says he's Christian, so he's a bloody Christian, ok?), are have DRIVEN HELL BACK OUT but because Obama is still in the White House, Hell - a metaphorical place that has been driven out of the country (by measure enacted, or at least started, because of Obama) - is still somehow running the country through Obama?

    oh. my. fucking. GODS.

    lunacy. sheer lunacy. and it's probably totally infectous - if i start foaming at the mouth, blame pearlygirl for infecting me.

  4. I know. I couldn't follow it at all. I mean, if taxing and bailing throws the bad metaphorical place out, shouldn't we do more of it? And, how can the bad metaphorical place be here and not here?

  5. That is seriously one of the strangest pieces I've read lately. It's kind of scary that the inhabitants of her echo chamber actually congratulate her for writing that.

    Also, so "Hell" is a guy, then? Weird.

  6. I could not tell if Hell was a metaphorical place, or a guy. It seemed to go back and forth. I know what she was aiming at, it was a writing style common a few hundred years ago, but it was forced and awkward in the best of hands, it just falls apart in hers.

    I have to say, even the echo chamber doesn't totally support this sort of crap. She gets a lot of "thank you for your passion" sort of responses when she does this sort of thing. It's like asking someone if they like your dress, and they reply, "I like the color."

  7. wait... i had a thought(during finals, no less)

    maybe, just maybe... she was reading Greek mythology, and did the typical confusion of Hell with the Greek afterlife, and the confusion with the Greek afterlife and the God who ruled it, Hades?
    so Hades = evil god = Hell?

    i dunno... i got nuthin else - except a sorry for that "are have" mistype :(


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Forever in Hell by Personal Failure is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at foreverinhell.blogspot.com.