Sunday, March 22, 2009

Protest Fail

tea bag, teabagging, conservative, protest, liberal, obama, asshat, speenweasel, stupid
There has been a lot of whingeing on the conservative blogosphere that the MSM is ignoring the right's righteous tea protest, because the MSM hates conservatives, to be sure.

You spleenweasels should be thrilled the MSM is ignoring these protests: they make you look stupid.

Just to review (for a far more thorough review, please visit the Accidental Historian's post on the same subject): our Founding Fathers were protesting taxation without representation. You have representation, you just don't like it. Welcome to the last 8 years of my life. Prior to the American Revolution, tea was taxed by King George after it left the ship it was delivered by. So, by throwing the tea off the ship into the ocean, the colonists were depriving the King of massive amounts of revenue.

Mailing President Obama a teabag is not an equivalent protest. Holding up an accidentally hilarious sign referencing teabagging is not an equivalent protest. Throwing a box of Lipton into a river is not an equivalent protest.

All three of these things are an example of an enormous ignorance of history that could easily be solved by visiting a 5th grade classroom. (The signs are is also an example of an enormous, and highly amusing, ignorance of popular culture.)

In buying teabags to protest with, you are actually giving more money, money you wouldn't have normally spent, to the very government you are protesting, which makes you not a brave patriot, but an asshatting asshat. You may as well protest abortions by getting an abortion.

Protest Fail.

By the way, were I the president receiving tea bags in the mail, this is the thank you note I would send in return:

Dear Sir or Madam:

Thank you for your generous gift. I find tea to be both refreshing and relaxing, and given the various crisis I waded hip-deep into the moment I stepped into office- the economic crisis, the health care crisis, the housing crisis, and two wars- I am in need of any bit of relaxation I can find.

I appreciate your thoughtful generosity, and I would like to again thank you.


President Barack Obama


  1. On the bright side, those signs are spelled correctly. That's a rarity

  2. There is that.

    Now that I've looked at the pic more closely, the look on her face suggests to me that it's possible she knows exactly what "tea bag" is slang for, and she's enjoying the unsubtle double entendre a little too much.

  3. Now that you have "tea bag" and "tea bagging" as tags on your blog, expect traffic to increase.

  4. "our Founding Fathers were protesting taxation without representation. You have representation, you just don't like it."

    Which doesn't faze them, since their battle cry, regardless of representation, is "no taxation". Or, at least "lower taxation". Also: when are we receiving this teabagging?

  5. Stew: you should see the traffic I get when I blog about my vagina!

    Asylum Seeker: I suggest asking a conservative. They're the ones who are totally into sexually gratifying the rest of us, apparently. I'm a little disappointed that, as a woman, I won't be gratified (not having the relevant parts, after all), but I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised. They're never that into sexually gratifying women.

  6. Personally I hope they keep protesting for a while, because I REALLY enjoy the fact that most of them have no bloody idea what tea bagging is. It's wonderful. It also means these people are so impared that when other people snicker they don't even think to see what else comes up when they type in "tea bagging". Hee!

  7. I kinda hope Obama sues them all for sexual harrassment!

    These are the same people who have redefined, to suit themselves, gay, marriage, homophobia, homosexual, etc., then get all bent out of shape that the dictionary includes the same sex definition of marriage.

    I can't decide if that's sublime irony or just ironic stupidity.

  8. Perhaps the appropriate response to this protest is to feign moral objection to the blatant reference to an "immoral and demeaning sexual perversion", and also to object to such a public display possibly being witnessed by children. CLEARLY this is indicative of the moral bankruptcy of these people. For god's sake, think of the children!

    Hey, they get mileage out that shit, right?

  9. Brilliant! We really need to hijack that phrase.

  10. why didn't i think of that?!

    it IS brilliant.

    (women can be teabagged, if by teabagging you just mean when a man dangles his testicles over your face, onto your forhead or into your mouth...)

  11. If conservatives are going to be doing sexual things to me, I want them to be sexual things I might enjoy!

    Hey, who doesn't give the occasional blowjob, but I don't get off on it.

    That probably was TMI, wasn't it?


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